Silent Hill: The One With a Crappy Plotline
by Saddened Soul
Summary: James and Laura return to Ashfield... only to find themselves three years into the future! Walter Sullivan has seemingly survived, however, and strange things begin taking place for James and Henry... but what is the mysterious force behind it all?
1. Episode I

**(_DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'Silent Hill' or anything related, nor do I make any profit off of this work.)  
_**

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode I**

James Sunderland smiled slightly as he drove his vehicle down the road. The scenery displayed a rocky plain, which didn't really make sense since the town of Silent Hill is surrounded by a forest, but it fits the story.

An eight year- old, blonde girl with her hair tied back in a ponytail was sitting in the passenger seat, the seat belt keeping her in place.

"Where are we going?"

James, since leaving the deserted town, hadn't really thought of a destination, but he was more obsessed with the fact that he had overcome his pain and guilt and was starting over; yeah, like that would do _any _good in the real world.

"I'm talking to you, you know?" spoke the girl again, whose name happened to be Laura. James glanced at her before looking back at the road. "Well, uh, I guess Ashfield…My father works as a superintendent at an apartment complex there."

Laura giggled just the tiniest bit. "What type of job is that? Your dad must be poor or something…"

"Hey, don't insult my father."

"He works at an apartment building…"

"So?"

"_An apartment building_…"

"Look, if you're going to be living with me, you better stop it with that smart mouth," James stated in a firm manner. Of course, Laura wasn't exactly fazed by the statement.

The girl did not respond, and James did not continue with it, so a majority of the ride was kept in silence.

However, after about two hours or so, the city of Ashfield was not reached. Rather, the barren road and surroundings just kept repeating themselves over, and over, and over, and over… and over… and over…

"Strange…"

"What is?

"Our surroundings keep repeating themselves…"

"But they always do that in cartoons."

"But this isn't a cartoon…"

James pushed down on the brakes, and as the car stopped, he began to think. 'Strange… Could it be Silent Hill…?'  
---

Walter Sullivan awoke with the worst headache he'd ever experienced. He blinked a few times, noticing he was lying on his belly. There was music coming from above him, but he couldn't pinpoint the source of it… until the stereo fell from the bookshelf, landed on the back of his head, and dropped to the carpeted floor.

Walter, who had attempted to stand, fell back to the floor. "Damn…" he grumbled while rubbing the back of his head. He struggled a bit, but successfully stood before examining his surroundings.

He was standing in Room 302 of South Ashfield Heights, right beside the bookshelf Henry had in the corner of the room. He slowly started towards the kitchen area, his head turning to see the entire room. The chains had vanished; the walls no longer looked like they would ooze slime at any moment, and the wall hiding the secret storage room was in perfect shape.

Walter disregarded these minor things and shuffled forward, reaching out to the refrigerator door handle. His stomach growled loudly, and he stopped for a moment.

'Wait… What happened last night…? They… I…' Walter had reason to be pondering these things; early morning sunlight was pouring through the windows, and he had no memory of how the battle the night before had prevailed.

He remembered Henry there, in the final chamber of his alternate world… but that was where it ended…

Walter shrugged and opened the refrigerator, scanning its contents; aside from a single chocolate pudding in the far corner, it was empty, as was the freezer… and so were the cupboards, and drawers…

"Does he even _eat_?" Walter thought aloud before reluctantly grabbing the pudding and juggling it in his hands for a moment.

"Oh well…" He turned and took one of the spoons in the drawer. He stared at the spoon for a few seconds, but quickly ripped off the cover and began hastily devouring the pudding; once he was done, he wiped the chocolate around his mouth with his coat sleeve, put the spoon in the sink, and dropped the empty plastic container in the trash bin nearby.

Walter glanced around the room before walking out in search of food.  
---

James couldn't really describe it… He'd decided to just keep on driving, and a few minutes later, he was riding into Ashfield!

The rocky plains had just disappeared, revealing the outskirts of the city, and it confused him greatly.

Laura, however, didn't really notice the change, and only rubbed her eyes. "We're almost there, right? It was shorter than I thought…"

"Y-Yeah…" James responded while looking around. He shook his head. 'Nothing weird is going on… Nothing…'

So, after about five minutes, the two drove into the city of Ashfield… even though James didn't feel exactly right… He noted that things seemed… different… than when he'd left for Silent Hill… Nonetheless, he made his way to South Ashfield Heights…  
---

Frank Sunderland took a sip of his coffee as he flipped through the newspaper, quickly skimming through it. He was sitting at a somewhat large desk near the entrance of the apartment building, and he was oblivious to the events that took place during the night… aside for the fact that the red box containing Walter Sullivan's umbilical cord wasn't in his room anymore… but that wasn't much of a big deal.

His attention was brought to the entrance door, however, as it opened, revealing a blonde, little girl wearing what seemed to be a long- sleeved red shirt with jean overalls. She looked around quickly before noticing Frank.

She looked at him for a second, but then turned to face the outside. "Is he your dad, James?" she called. Frank gasped at that name. 'James…?'

"Hold on, Laura!" came a man's voice, and it caused Frank to stand as his son, James, walked inside. James glanced around, seeing Frank.

"Dad… Uh, hey-,"

"James!" Frank smiled gleefully and darted over to his son. "James, you're alive!"

James made a nervous chuckle. "What are you talking about Dad?" he asked while patting his father on the back as they parted. "I was never dead… I've only been gone for a few days…"

"Actually, it's been three years since I last saw you; we all thought the worst: that you had died!"

James scratched his head as Frank turned to Laura and grinned. "Did you and Mary get a little… heh heh, in secret?"

James flushed while reaching out for the newspaper. "Uh… no, we, we didn't…" He picked up the paper and held it close to his face, attempting to locate the date near the top right hand corner of the first page.

"Oh my…" The date displayed was: _July 21, 2005._

"It… actually is three years later…" he murmured as the entrance door swung open, allowing a man with messily strewn about brown hair to step inside.

"Oh, Henry, you're back; are you all right?" inquired Frank as Henry approached them. "Yeah, I'm fine… Eileen should be ready to go later today…" he replied as Frank turned to James: "Ah, Henry, I'd like to introduce James; he's my long lost son!" exclaimed the older man as James shrugged.

Henry smiled slightly while extending his hand. "Henry Townshend."

"James Sunderland, nice to meet you," spoke the man as he shook his hand.

Frank cleared his throat. "You know, Henry… you stink…"

"Yeah, I know; I haven't had a damn shower in the last week… Oh, and by the way, I'm leaving this place; I didn't pay for a room in an apartment building screwed up by some psycho serial killer who thinks his mother is my room."

Frank had a bewildered expression on his face. "Uh… what…?"

"Laura?" James called, gaining the other two men's attention. "Where did she go now?"  
---

Laura wandered into the apartment room curiously; it was the only room with the door wide open.

There was a stereo lying on the floor beside the bookshelf in the corner, and an empty, plastic pudding container in the trash bin. Aside from that, though, there didn't seem to be anything peculiar about the room… except for the little kid with dark blonde hair, jeans, and a long- sleeved navy colored shirt with horizontal white lines that was walking out of the bathroom.

"Oh, hello!" he chirped upon seeing Laura. "I haven't seen any other kids my age…"

Laura's expression remained emotionless as she stared at the child version of Walter Sullivan.

"So… what are you doing here with Mom?"

" 'Mom'?"

"Yeah."

"You're crazy."

"Wha-,"

Laura grasped a handful of Walter's hair, pulled him forward, and kicked him straight in the groin; his face scrunched up in discomfort, he made a high- pitched 'Meow' sound, and fell to the floor.

Laura giggled evilly before skipping out of Room 302… which Henry entered a moment later.

He ignored Child Walter and opened up the refrigerator. "God, I'm so hun-,"

Henry ground his teeth. "Where… Where is my last chocolate pudding? I've been living off of those for the past six days!" He turned around frantically, looking around the apartment room. "M-My stereo! What the hell is it doing on the floor?"

"I… dunno…" stammered Child Walter as he squirmed on the floor. Henry ignored him once more and turned, noticing the trash bag in the bin was slightly disturbed. He peeked in, and to his utmost horror, he saw the empty, discarded pudding container.

Henry gasped.

"No… Who… Who would've eaten it…?"

He turned to Child Walter. "Did that little blonde girl… did she…?"

"No! She was only in here for a second…"

"Did you…?" Henry tried to keep his voice down, as a fury unknown to man boiled within him. Child Water shook his head quickly. "N-No, I've been in the bathroom all day; I swear it!"

Henry thought for a moment, clenching his fists. "Then… it had to be… Walter!" He sped over to the item chest, flinging the lid open and diving inside. Child Walter was at a loss of words; Henry had dove into the chest, disappearing!

A few minutes later, Henry climbed out, his Steel Pipe firmly held in his right hand.

He smirked maniacally. "Walter will pay… He's screwed with me enough, but this is the last straw! I'll kill him once and for all!"

As Henry prepared to leave, however, Child Walter crawled over to him. "W-Wait…" Henry looked down at him. "What?"

"That girl… she's evil… _pure evil_… Her eyes…" Child Walter trailed off before falling unconscious.  
---

A darkly cloaked figure stood alone in a large chamber. A single light came from above. "Valtiel…" he said, "your report?"

"Sire…" Valtiel, who had taken on the form of a young man in a suit, appeared beside him. "Sire, it seems Walter Sullivan has somehow survived… In any case, the 'Descent of the Holy mother- The 21 Sacraments' ritual has failed…"

The cloaked figure sighed. "Yet another has failed… Must we do everything ourselves…?... Anything else?"

"As a matter of fact, Sire…" Valtiel spoke in a shaky manner, "it seems James Sunderland has escaped the time pocket… I apologize… I was sure it was flawless-,"

"Pay it no concern. It is an obstacle, as James poses a threat towards us… Resurrect their souls; the time for our attack is near, nonetheless."

"As you say, Sire…"

Valtiel bowed and disappeared, leaving the person to clear his throat. "My two punishers, come forth…"

Both Pyramid Heads appeared from the shadows, bowing. "Master…" they muttered in unison. The cloaked figure turned to them. "I would like you two to locate and eliminate James Sunderland and Walter Sullivan… Do anything necessary."

The Pyramid Head wielding the spear raised his head slightly. "D-Does that include demon nurses…?"

"...No," replied the person, his sudden, chilly tone causing the Pyramid Heads to back away. "Yes, Master!" they replied quickly before vanishing.

The person folded his arms as a brown dog with a white underbelly approached him. "What of Henry Townshend?" asked the dog in a very low voice, his mouth opening closing as if executing a single bark.

The cloaked figure removed his hood, revealing two, large rabbit ears. "Do not worry about him… I have plans for Henry, but they will have to wait. He is the least of our concerns for now."

The entity laughed. "Soon, our dreams will be realized! The power of God shall be mine!"


	2. Episode II

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode II**

Jasper Gein was having a very unusual day. For one, he had a horrible headache, and he had no idea what he did the night before. It was very weird. He remembered driving into the forest near Silent Hill to check out the Mother Stone, but everything after that was black… he barely remembered this guy that gave him a bottle of chocolate milk, and then there was that strange man in a blue coat prowling around…

"Sir, your order?"

Jasper looked up at the girl in the 'Happy Burger' uniform, and the way she impatiently drummed her fingers on the counter.

"S-Sorry…"

He looked up at the menu, skimming through the many meal names, hamburgers…

_Supreme Bacon Cheddar Burger_

Something about that name named his mouth water.

"I'll h-h-have the S-Sup-preme B-Bacon C-C-Cheddar…"

"I'm sorry, sir, what was that again?"

"He'll have the Supreme Bacon Cheddar Burger," came a sexy, Hispanic, female voice.

As the worker nodded Jasper turned to the voice, locking eyes with the woman, who smiled seductively.

Something about her made his mouth water even more.

"T-Thanks…" he said; she nodded. "No problem; I used to have a stuttering problem too."

Jasper managed a smile. "That'll be twenty dollars, sir."

"W-What?"  
---

Walter pushed the entrance door of the 'Happy Burger' restaurant open quietly, looking around. 'I sure hope they have food here… if not they have false advertising outside…' he thought as his stomach suddenly rumbled.

'I need food…'

It attracted the attention of some people nearby, including that of Jasper Gein and Cynthia Velasquez.

Most of the people went back to eating their food, but not Jasper. He just pointed at him. "Y-You l-l-look really f-f-amiliar…"

Cynthia cocked her head to the left. "Actually, you do…"

Walter was speechless. He hadn't noticed them before, but now his headache was only made worse. He quickly tried to think of something. "Uh… We've never met before… I've never seen any of you," he lied. Jasper continued staring at him for a moment, but shrugged and reached into his pocket for some money.

He moved out of the way for Cynthia to order, but the worker looked at Walter instead. "What would you like, sir?" Walter smiled and darted over to the cash register. "Oh, yeah, I'd like…"

"I was here first!" interrupted Cynthia, who was clearly ticked off that the cashier had skipped her.

The 'Happy Burger' worker only merely stared at her with a bored expression. "The man's clearly hungry, miss, and you weren't in line, anyway."

"Neither was he!"

The blonde serial killer was about to say something when the entrance door swung open as if it had been slammed by something. "_Walter_!"

All of the people in the building looked towards the shout, even those pleasuring themselves in the bathroom.

Henry grinned triumphantly as he waved his Steel Pipe in the air. "Walter, Walter, Walter… How could you? I didn't think you were _that_ vile!"

Walter scratched his head. "What… are you talking about…?"

"_You know damn well what I'm talking about_!" answered Henry in a yell.

"H-Hey, you're t-that g-g-guy who g-g-g-gave m-me the chocolate m-m-milk…"

"It's Henry…"

"I still don't know what you mean…" Walter responded.

Henry laughed crazily. "It doesn't matter, because I'm still going to kill you!" His right eye twitched as he prepared to rush at Walter… but the wall behind him suddenly exploded, revealing the spear- wielding Pyramid Head standing in the rubble.

Henry turned, enraged. "Hey, watch where you blow walls up!"

Pyramid Head ignored him, pointing at Walter. "I've come to kill you, Sullivan; die."

Before Walter could even react, the spear was already hurtling towards him. In a matter of nanoseconds the spear impaled him through the abdomen, inertia slamming the weapon through the wall, pinning Walter.

Blood seeped down and around the spear as Walter winced.

Pyramid Head chuckled demonically as Henry stared in disbelief.

"C-Cool!" Jasper exclaimed, unable to run… 'cause you know, he was in awe… like all other thirty year- olds that dress like geeks.

The display caused all of the people inside to scream in horror and panic, while most ran out in fright. The cashier, wide- eyed, shook. "W-Would you like to order something… sir?"

Cynthia, who was still there, looked at the girl like she was insane. The worker stammered, "It's our p-policy…"

Pyramid Head stalked past Henry and towards Walter, stroking his helmet... yeah… "Well, well, well," he spat while jerking the spear out of the wall and waving Walter around. "If it isn't a Sullivan shiskebab!"

Walter chuckled weakly. "That's actually funny…"

Henry ground his teeth. "Hey, Guy-With-The-Long-and-Hard-Pyramid-on-his-Head!"

Pyramid Head turned around to face Henry. "What? I'm in the middle of something…"

"I'm the one that's going to kill him, so put him the hell down… Or I'll have to smash you into a little, bloody, pulp!" Pyramid Head laughed. "I'd like to see you try…"

"Okay, then…" With a loud cry, Henry lunged forward, his Steel Pipe crashing down against the metal helmet. Pyramid Head's head seemed to lower a little, but he only chuckled. "Pathetic…"

"What!"

The powerful demon/god/thing swung his spear in a wide arch, knocking Henry away, while Walter slid off at the same time and landed nearby.

Jasper and Cynthia, who were hiding with the cashier behind the counter watched the spectacle unfold. "Is that even a man…?" asked Cynthia quietly while Jasper snorted. "I dunno…" replied the worker. "You… want to throw something at it?"

Walter slowly stood, pain coursing through his body. He looked down at the bleeding wound near his stomach. 'I must've retained my immortality…'

"I will not fail this time," stated Pyramid Head as he prepared to attack. He held the spear firmly in his hands and jammed it forward; Walter had more time to react now, so he quickly caught the wooden spear before it reached him. His hands wrapped tightly around the wooden base of the sharp metal, he whirled it out of Pyramid Head's hand, startling the demon.

The serial killer flipped the spear in his right hand before throwing it at Pyramid Head, his aim dead on as it pierced the metal helmet and sailed straight through.

Pyramid Head staggered back, cracks beginning to appear in the helmet. A moment later, he fell to the ground, dead.

Walter stood there for a second, staring at the corpse before starting to limp towards the exit door. Before he could make it though, Henry called out to him. "I'll find you, Walter! You can't escape!"

Walter only shook his head before shuffling out.

The cashier, Cynthia, and Jasper slowly, but surely, stood up from behind the counter, glancing at Henry and then back to the dead Pyramid Head. The cashier looked to them. "Does… anyone have a cell phone so I can call the cops?"  
---

"You're welcome to stay here, in an apartment, James," said Frank as he continued sweeping the lobby area. James was sitting at the desk, thinking, so he barely heard what his father had said.

"This is boring," Laura stated while resting her head on the desk. "Isn't there anything fun to do around here, James?"

James turned his head to the little girl. "Laura… you should be like eleven, right?"

"What are you talking about, James?"

The man shrugged. "I don't even know…"

_Achoo!_

There was a sneeze. All three of them looked up at the stairs to see Child Walter walking down, rubbing his eyes. Frank took a few moments to study the boy; he was familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on it.

"Hey, it's you!" Laura exclaimed while jumping out of the chair and running towards Child Walter, who screamed in terror and ran back up the stairs.

"Come back, little kid!" Laura called while stopping at the base of the stairs.

James glanced at his father who had ceased sweeping. "Strange… I've never seen him around recently… but…"

"What's wrong, Dad?" inquired the younger man while standing. However, Frank didn't answer; he was staring behind James, his mouth wide open.

"What's the matter?"

"Behind you…"

Suddenly, James was spun around; his shoulder was quickly grasped by a strong hand, which then encircled itself around his throat.

"Hello, James…" greeted the Great Knife Pyramid Head as he raised the man up.

"…What…? You… No… You… can talk?" gasped James. "Oh yes I can…" Pyramid Head threw James down, causing him to skid slightly across the floor. "Son!" Frank ran over to James's side, slowly helping him up.

"You cannot run away this time…" said Pyramid Head as he grasped the Great Knife and began to make his way forward… but he stopped… in front of Laura… who was looking up at him.

"L-Laura! Get away from him!" shouted James, but the little girl only held a finger at her bottom lip in curiosity. "How do you breathe in that, mister?"

Pyramid Head looked down at the little blonde, not entirely sure of what to do. His master had commanded him to do anything necessary… but he just couldn't bring himself to strike the girl down.

Unfortunately, Laura had different thoughts in mind. "Are you deaf or somethin'?"

Pyramid Head remained silent, looking back at James… when a _VERY_ uncomfortable feeling took place over the area between his legs. Laura backed away as Pyramid Head fell to his knees, the Great Knife falling with a loud, metallic _THUD_.

"This… isn't over yet… James…" And with that, Pyramid Head disappeared, along with the Great Knife…  
---

Eileen handed the taxi driver the fee before stepping out of the vehicle and allowing the Italian man to drive away. She sighed rubbed her eyes; she didn't know why she told the driver to stop a block away from South Ashfield Heights, but she could use the exercise; she felt more comfortable walking in a city than in that twisted apartment with all those double-headed-baby-things…

She looked around, noticing she had been dropped off right in front of 'Joe's Pizzeria'. 'Well, I am a tad hungry…'

Dodging a few passerby, she walked in… and noticed there were very few people inside… For example, the fat guy with a blue and white- striped long- sleeved shirt and a white ball cap placed backwards on his head. He was gobbling up a slice of pepperoni pizza, glancing at her once. She turned away, suddenly not feeling so hungry anymore.

Eileen walked back outside, noticing some police cars driving by. 'Wonder where they're going…'

"Ah!... Damn…"

Eileen turned to the mutter to see a woman who was slowly standing. She seemed to have fallen, and was now dusting off her clothing. She wore a buttoned, pink blouse over what might've been a white dress with flowers scattered over it. The dress or skirt ended at the woman's knees, and her dark, butterscotch colored hair was tied back in a bun.

"Are you okay?" Eileen asked as she approached the woman, a look of worry plastered on her face. The woman looked up at Eileen, but smiled. "Oh, don't worry; I'm fine; I just tripped."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, thanks though…"

The woman smiled again. "Well, I've got to get going, so goodbye."

"Wait, where are you headed?"

"South Ashfield Heights; my father-in-law is the superintendent there, and it's close by-,"

"I'm going to South Ashfield Heights too; want to go together? This city's a little dangerous…"

"Hmm… I suppose so… but first, I haven't even introduced myself yet; I'm Mary Sunderland."

Eileen smiled. "Eileen Galvin; nice to meet you, Mary."  
---

"So… you understand what our great Lord wishes for you to do?" asked Valtiel, his crimson eyes glaring at the woman. "Yeah, I just have to keep an eye on James; no problem."

"That means you do not do anything rash while you are here… It is not simple to resurrect a soul, even one created by our Lord himself…"

"So I don't get killed, I know that…" answered the woman.

"Alright, then, I will leave you know and inform our Lord of this… Be wary…"

Valtiel's human form vanished, and Maria smiled a very evil smile.


	3. Episode III

(Damn, you're right Nirvana; MUST MAKE PLOTLINE CRAPPIER! … Unfortunately, I doubt I'll be able to do that…)

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode III**

Frank grumbled as Laura wrote the last 'X' into the square. "You're real good at this, you know?" he said while scratching out the grid and drawing a new one.

The little girl shrugged. "Tic Tac Toe's cool."

It was about an hour or so after Pyramid Head had attacked, and things had been pretty quiet. James was currently relieving himself, and Child Walter had yet to muster up the courage to come down from Room 302; Laura scared him _that_ much.

However, even after eleven games of Tic Tac Toe, Frank hadn't won yet.

Anyway, the entrance door opened, and they both looked up to see Eileen and Mary walk in. Frank gasped in surprise. 'What is today? Miracle Day?'

"Mary!" Laura jumped off the chair and ran to the woman while Frank stood up. "James! James, hurry up!" he yelled while keeping his eyes on his Daughter-In-Law, who's funeral he'd gone to.

"What?" his son responded as he walked out of a door nearby and turned to the lobby. Upon seeing Mary, he instantly fainted.

"James!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry sped out of the ruined Happy Burger, his head turning to look both ways before running across the street… but he did trip on a rock. "W-Wait!" Jasper shouted as Henry got up. "W-What was t-t-that t-t-t-thing?"

"The guy with the big helmet thing?"

"Y-Y-Yeah…"

"How the hell should I know?"

"W-Where are you g-g-g-going t-though?"

"Wherever Walter went; he ate my chocolate pudding, and so he must die… a _very_ painful death."

"The b-b-blonde guy?"

"No, the guy with the coat."

"Y-Y-Y-Yeah, that's w-why…"

"That guy was familiar, though," Cynthia stated as she walked up to them.

"Of course he's familiar; he killed you," Henry replied before turning and jogging to the other side. "W-W-What do you mean?" Jasper asked, slightly confused, while following; Cynthia did the same.

"He killed you."

"But… that doesn't make any sense!" Cynthia answered in a bewildered fashion. "And why did you stop?"

Henry pointed up at the sign on the pole beside him. "Bus stop; Walter wanted food, or went to kill you, but he probably wanted food… I would… but anyway, the nearest place with food is a few blocks away, so I'm taking the bus."

"But…"

"That d-d-d-doesn't m-make s-s-sense… H-How are we a-a-alive?"

"I don't know, but you are, so… you want to help me?"

"Help you with what?"

"_Killing him_!"

As Henry finished saying that an Ashfield city bus stopped in front of them and the doors opened…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie was humming to himself as the bus stopped and the doors separated, allowing three people to board; two males and one female.

He watched as one of the men and the woman sat together in the seats behind his, while the other guy, the one with the red Converse and the weird shirt with a demon picture on it, was forced to sit down next to him.

Jasper snorted. "C-Could you m-m-move your f-fat butt over?"

Eddie took a moment to register what he'd just been told. "What did you say?" A hint of anger could be heard in his tone.

"I s-s-said, 'C-C-C-Can you m-move over?'."

"No, you didn't!" Eddie retorted while standing. "You called me fat!"

He removed a revolver from under his shirt, prepared it quickly, and aimed at Jasper. This, of course, caused all of the people riding in the bus to scream in terror or panic.

The bus driver looked over his shoulder at them. "H-Hey, what-,"

_BANG!_

The driver fell limp as the bullet collided with his right temple… or somewhere around there. His head slammed against the center of the steering wheel, making the continuous honking noise.

Eddie chuckled and turned back to Jasper. "Now it's your turn…"

But another gunshot rang through the air, and all the civilians screamed as Henry pointed Richard Braintree's former weapon at the crazy fatso. "Hey, hey, calm down," he said over the loud honking. "Cynthia, can you drive this thing?" he yelled. "Well, yeah, I think so…" she answered. "Well then hurry up before we crash and _die in a fiery explosion of death and destruction which will kill us_!"

Cynthia shrugged and rushed past him, pulling the driver out of the seat and replacing him. She quickly steered the bus out of the way before it crashed into a building.

Henry looked back to Eddie. "Okay, man, just put the gun down…"

"Tch, you're just like them! Just because you're not fat you think you can push me around! I'll show you!" Eddie pulled the trigger, the bullet soaring towards Henry, who stepped out of the way. "Hey, stop-,"

Henry ducked to avoid another shot. "Stop moving, darn it!" Eddie exclaimed before Jasper suddenly jumped onto him, head locking Eddie.

"Get… off of me!" cried the fatty as Jasper glanced at Henry. "D-Do s-s-s-something!" The brunette man ground his teeth. "Can everybody just _shut up_! I'm trying to think!" he shouted while firing several gunshots in the air. The civilians immediately silenced… but Eddie only grabbed the back of Jasper's shirt and flung him over onto the floor.

"That's it!" He shot at Jasper's forehead, which was an extremely easy target, but there was a sudden bark behind him. Eddie stopped, and turned to the sound; his eyes widened in horror.

"Y-You! That… dog!"

"Yes, Eddie, it is me…"

"T-That d-d-dog can t-talk!" Jasper exclaimed, but the bus unexpectedly swerved to the right…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, Mr. Cartland, do you think I ask too many questions? I've always wanted to be a police officer! I mean, it's my dream!"

Douglas rubbed eyes with his left hand while controlling the steering wheel with his right. "Again, you can just call me Douglas…"

'…and you talk too much,' he thought.

"Okay, Mr. Cartland!"

Douglas sighed. How, for all that is holy, did he get stuck with a hyperactive trainee? He was a detective! He should be working on solving crimes… not driving around with a nineteen year- old _kid_ who liked baked beans… which he also thought were good… but that's beside the point.

Anyway, Douglas wasn't really paying attention when Don, the trainee, poked him in the arm. "Mr. Cartland! That bus is speeding!"

Douglas blinked a few times before looking at Don. "…What?"

"The bus over there is speeding."

The detective looked down the street, seeing a bus turning left at an intersection. He saw a couple of bright flashes from inside the bus, and heard the gunshots. He speedily put his vehicle's flashing light on and sped after the bus. "Strap yourself in, Don; there's someone firing a gun in that bus!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pyramid Head weakly shuffled up to the edge of the sidewalk a few blocks away from South Ashfield Heights. 'Curse that little girl… that _hurt_!' It had weakened him _so_ much that he couldn't even teleport back to his master's base… which was bad.

He began to slowly advance across the street towards the opposite side… when he turned and saw a city bus suddenly turned to his left, avoiding him.

However… he was _NOT_ expecting the vehicle that was right behind the bus. He couldn't have dodged it anyway, but still… The flashing red light was the last thing he saw before the car slammed into him, knocking him across the asphalt and towards an office building.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Douglas pressed down on the brakes, the car skidding to a halt as the tall, humanoid body rolled away, seemingly dead or unconscious.

"Mr. Cartland, you just hit that man!" squeaked Don as Douglas stared at the lifeless form.

He swallowed hard. "Well… we should go see if he's still alive…"

He exited the car, slowly approaching the figure as many passerby and people looked on. Don was close behind him, his eyes never leaving the person… or that's what it looked like. It was wearing a massive helmet, shaped in what was similar to a pyramid.

It wore a long, white gown of some sort… the same thing a butcher would put on. It had black boots, but its skin seemed to be slightly decomposing, and it was covered in splotches of blood.

A large sword- type weapon laid beside him. Douglas walked up to it, giving it a small nudge with his foot. "I… think it's dead…" Its left hand unexpectedly latched onto the detective's right ankle the second after he said this.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"James, are you all right?" asked Frank as his son slowly came to. "What… happened…?"

"You fainted after seeing, uh… your wife…"

"Mary?" He sat up quickly, looking around. "Where is she? Mary…" he muttered somewhat sadly.

Frank smiled. "She's looking around the apartments with that little girl… Laura, right?"

"Yeah…" James stood up from the floor, dusting himself off. "Couldn't you guys have laid me somewhere else other than the floor?"

"Well, uh…"

"Get me away from her! She's evil!" Child Walter ran down the stairs as fast as a Star Trek fanboy who had walked into a Star Wars convention. He hid behind James.

Laura was seen next. "Hey, don't be scared, little kid… Mary, why is he afraid of me so much?"

"Boys are usually scared of girls, Laura," Mary replied with a laugh as she walked down the last flight of stairs and into the lobby.

"Mary…" James murmured. He suddenly ran towards her, embracing her tightly. "Mary… I'm… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"James…"

"Oh, _how_ _touching_…"

James knew that voice… oh how he did… "Maria!" he shouted while backing away from Mary and looking up at her 'Evil Copy' who was standing at the top of the last flight of stairs.

"How delighted I am to know that you remember me, James," responded Maria sarcastically. "But it won't really help you… seeing as I've already set the top floor on fire! Soon, this piece of trash apartment building will go up in flames!"

"But, Maria…! How…?"

"Don't-,"

Maria felt something hard slam into the back of her head, the impact sending her down the rest of the steps. All of them looked up to see… EILEEN! WITH HER NIGHTSTICK!

"That's what you get for trying to set my apartment room on fire, you little _slut_!"

Maria rubbed the back of her head while standing. "At least I don't have to pay a guy just to get into bed with him…"

"_Take that back_!"

"No…"

"Oh, _now you're really going to die_!"

Eileen rushed towards Maria, but she mysteriously disappeared. "Get back here!"

"Isn't that smoke?" asked Laura all of a sudden as she pointed at the stairwell. "Well, she did say she set the top floor on fire… I don't think it'll take long to get here," stated Child Walter.

Mary nodded. "Yes, we have to get out of here; come on, we have to go!"

James, who was still very confused, reluctantly followed as they ran outside, looking back at the building.

Like Maria had said, flames and smoke were sprouting out of the windows of the entire third and second floors.

Frank was just staring at the fire gradually engulfing the apartment building he'd been superintendent of for about twenty years…

"The apartments…"

"Dad, what's wrong?" inquired a worried James who noticed his father's actions. "How… How could I let her do this? No… _No_…" He turned to James. "We have to get revenge somehow, son… We _have_ to!"

(Maria will be back soon enough; don't worry... Heh heh...)


	4. Episode IV

(Wow… Great review, wiezerdgamer! I love you too! … Uh… Crap.)

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode IV**

Walter, in search of food, weakly made his way towards hotdog stand. Finally, after all the crap he endured earlier, he would be able to eat!

"My good sir, could you please spare a moment?"

Walter stopped. Never mind what I said before.

He turned around to see who had spoken to him, and it turned out to be an elderly hobo sitting in the corner of the building a few feet behind the hotdog stand.

"Uh, what?"

The hobo motioned for Walter to come closer, a small grin playing on his wrinkled face. He was pretty much dressed in rags, aside from the long, brown coat surrounding him. A long beard, white as snow, hung from his chin and cheeks.

Walter approached him, regarding him suspiciously. The hobo chuckled sort of evilly. "Don't fear me, lad, I just wanted to speak with you…"

"About what?"

The hobo's left eye glistened, and Walter noticed it was completely gold. "Your coat," replied the old man venomously. "It is quite cold this time of year… so I was wondering if you would be so kind as to lend me that fine coat…"

"Like, _give you_ my coat?"

"…Yes…"

"Well, I apologize, but I like my coat, and I'm not giving it away; besides you already have one." And with that, Walter turned and started towards the hotdog stand once again; the hobo chuckled. "One more thing…"

"Yeah?" Walter turned to see the hobo suddenly stand, remove a can of pepper spray from within his coat, shake it, and unleash its contents right in his face.

The serial killer cried out in pain and panic as his right hand shot up to cover his eyes. "Ah… God!"

The hobo pulled Walter's coat off, holding it triumphantly before placing it on. "This coat'll serve me well, lad… I thank thee…"

"Once I can see… I'll get you!" The mysterious hobo was already gone…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie backed away slightly, his eyes never leaving the dog. "No… you're dead!" he gasped. "Correct Eddie, but so were you."

"W-What?"

As Eddie was being distracted by the Dog, Jasper grabbed Henry's Steel Pipe and whacked the fatty in the back of the head with it; he fell to the floor, unconscious. "T-That's what y-y-y-you g-get f-f-for trying to s-shoot m-m-me."

Henry cleared his throat while picking up his Steel Pipe. "Fear not, petty civilians," he said as he stood straight, "for I, and my gallant team, have defeated the great tyrant!"

As Henry was doing this, however, the bus suddenly crashed into a building, causing everyone to fall. The brunette cursed under his breath as he shakily got back onto his feet. "Dammit, you stupid wetback!" he shouted towards Cynthia, only to see she had disappeared… and that the front of the bus had smashed into an OfficeMax.

"Is ev-v-verybody o-okay?" asked a somewhat startled Jasper; receiving what seemed to be a 'Yes', from everyone, he turned to Henry. "H-Hey, w-w-where did she g-go?"

"I don't know, but that dog is gone too…" It was then, while Henry was looking out the window, that he saw a coatless Walter Sullivan staggering around across the street. 'Ah, yes, Walter…'

He looked to Jasper. "Well, I better be on my way or my prey will escape."

And without waiting for a response from Jasper, Henry dove out the window, even though the door was easily accessible.

'I'm coming Walter… oh yes I am…' he thought as he stood… but he ran back inside the bus to get his Steel Pipe.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No… Mom…" Child Walter muttered as he and Frank curled into fetal positions on the ground outside of South Ashfield Heights… which was still burning.

"I hope there weren't any other people in there," said Mary as James stared at his father's cellular phone disappointedly. "I don't understand… the signal's screwed up or something…"

"Mine won't work either…" remarked Eileen as she dropped it back into her purse. "Who was that whore anyway?"

Mary nodded. "Yes, she… looked exactly like me…"

James shrugged. "It's… hard to explain… She…" He sighed. "I'm not even sure…"

And that was when the phone rang. James fumbled with it slightly before answering. "Hello…?"

"Hello, James…"

"Maria… Why… Why are you doing this…? No, how are you-,"

"I'm doing it because I have _orders_ to do it, James. Besides, whenever I see you I just want to kill you _so_ badly…"

"Uh…"

"Anyway, _James_, are you happy you got your dead wife back?" James turned to Mary, who seemed a little distressed to see him look towards her. "Leave her out of this," he replied a tad firmer.

"Was that like a threat, James? That's funny…"

A tall blonde guy ran up to them at this point. "What… What happened?" he asked bewilderedly while pointing at the apartment building. "Some psycho b put it on fire," replied Eileen somewhat cheerily. "Well, have any of you called 9-1-1?"

"Our cell phones don't work, for some reason," responded Mary this time. The blonde guy thought for a moment. "Then what are you-,"

"Come on, everyone, we have to go," stated James.

"What? Why-,"

"Just get in my car! Hurry!"

Mary and Eileen reluctantly got inside the vehicle while James approached Laura. "You too," he said, but she pointed at Frank and Child Walter. "What about them?"

James thought quickly before cradling the cellular phone with his head and shoulder. He grabbed his father by the arms and started dragging him towards the car. Laura pretty much did the same with Child Walter.

The younger Sunderland hurriedly opened the door to the back seat and pushed his father in there while Laura practically threw Child Walter in; he landed on the floor.

James then rushed into the driver's seat with Laura already in the passenger. "James, what is going on?" inquired Mary sternly as her husband/killer drove off. "There isn't time to explain," he replied as he held the phone up. "Maria…?"

"Have fun, James…"

And with that, the phone immediately died. Oh yeah, that was the same time South Ashfield Heights exploded, killing off the tall, blonde guy dramatically.

"Oh my God!" Eileen exclaimed upon seeing the building go _KABOOM_. "That was why I had us get out of there," James stated. "But… why would she set the building on fire and then blow it up?" Laura suddenly asked. "I have no idea, but we would've died…"

Thankfully, Frank and Child Walter hadn't seen what happened, but now Eileen was slumping slightly. "What's the matter?" inquired Mary worriedly.

"I… forgot my… banana pudding…"

"Banana pudding…?"

"Yeah… I hadn't eaten any today… Dammit… _Dammit_!"

"But it was just pudding…" commented James. "It wasn't just _pudding_! It was _banana_ pudding! And I've been eating one everyday since my ninth birthday…"

"I didn't like pudding at all," Laura said whilst barely paying attention to the conversation.

"And now… my pudding's gone… just like that!" Eileen snapped her fingers. "It was that entire woman's fault… _THAT B_!"

Even Frank and Child Walter glanced at her now, even though they were still traumatized.

Tears were now streaming down Eileen's face. "_I'm going to find that slut and rip out her ovaries_!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Douglas jumped away and screamed like a frightened little girl when Pyramid Head had grabbed his ankle. As he was recuperating from the shock, Don giggled. "You screamed like a girl, Mr. Cartland!"

"Yes… Yes, I know that, Don…"

"What about it, though? It's getting up."

Yes, Pyramid Head was standing. Upon standing straight he grabbed his Great Knife, whirling it around. "Alright… Good." He turned to Douglas and Don. "Watch where you're driving next time…" He then began to shuffle away.

"So… are we just going to let him get away?" asked Don; Douglas shook his head. "We're going to follow him… but we're going to follow him _covertly_."

"What does 'Covertly' mean, Mr. Cartland?"

Douglas only sighed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I thought we had agreed you'd do nothing rash?" said Valtiel as Maria inspected her nails. "All I did was blow up an apartment building; I don't see how that's rash…"

"We only required that you keep watch over James Sunderland and inform us of his doings, not bring your personal matters into it."

"Oh, don't worry about it so much," replied Maria while walking to the edge of the sidewalk. "Taxi!" she called as she waved at the oncoming yellow car. It stopped, and the driver unlocked the door, allowing Maria to open it… and punch the driver in the face, knocking him out. She opened his door and pushed him out onto the street before sliding into his previous seat.

"Wait," commanded Valtiel as he got into the car as well. "I intend to accompany you and watch over your actions…"

"Fine by me," Maria responded with an evil grin.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Walter, we meet again," stated Henry in a dramatic voice as he approached the somewhat blind man. Walter froze at the voice. "Oh, can't you just leave me alone, for at least a few minutes?"

"No, Walter, I can't, for every action will have a consequence… and yours is _death_…"

Henry chuckled maniacally before slowly advancing towards the serial killer. "Oh, by the way, what happened to your coat?"

"Some homeless person stole it."

"Oh… too bad, man."

"Yeah…"

"Now, I'm going to kill you."

"Gotcha…"

Walter sprinted into a run down the street towards an abandoned warehouse. "Don't make this harder than it has to be, Walter!" Henry gave chase as the serial killer vanished into the building.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So… everything is going as planned… You do know what to do, correct?"

"Yes…"

"Do not fail us…"

"I shall not, my great Lord…"

"Good…"


	5. Episode V

(Damn, I'm becoming more insane with every chapter I write…Um… And to Pyramid Head, no, the Sacraments aren't invincible, but Walter is… and the Spear Pyramid Head found that out the hard way… Heh heh… I'm even listening to 'Room of Angel' as I write this commentary…)

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode V**

Walter could still barely see, and it didn't help that it was pretty much pitch black inside the building… aside from some dusty windows which allowed the sunlight in.

He used his hands to guide him as he slowly made his way through the room. His eyes adjusted slightly, and he noticed there were numerous crates and boxes scattered throughout the room. There was a staircase located near the back wall as well…

Walter flinched when he heard the door swing open; he quickly dove behind one of the wooden crates.

There was a moment of silence before the door slammed shut, and the darkness overcame the light once more… "Walter…"

The blonde cringed at his name as he heard slow footsteps on the concrete floor. "_Waaaalteeer_… I know you're in here… You won't get away this time… Oh no…"

The serial killer held his breath, trying not to make a peep… but this was difficult when he heard something scratch against the wall… Something steel...

"Come out Walter… It won't be long before I find you… Stop running and accept your fate!"

Walter scanned the immediate area in front of him, searching for something to distract his attacker. He quickly grabbed a stone and hurled it to his left. It collided with the wall, and the _CLANG_ sound caused Henry to turn in that direction.

Walter gave one last glance towards Henry before making a mad dash to the stairs; he grasped the rail and sped up as the brown- haired man noticed him. "Foolish little Walter…"

He hastily followed.

Walter ignored the pain coursing through his body as he ran up the somewhat wobbly staircase. He heard a separate set of footsteps on metal behind him; he cursed under his breath.

The serial killer pushed against the door at the end, knocking it open… and revealing the roof of the warehouse.

"What…? No…" He darted forward, peering over the edge at the street below. "Dammit… I'm stuck…"

"Yes you are…" replied Henry as he stepped outside from the staircase. "There's nowhere left for you to hide… Now, be a good boy and give up; I'm tired of chasing you across the city."

Walter turned to the 20th Sacrament, staring into his eyes. "Fine…" He kicked up a plank of wood, which was conveniently located there, and grabbed it. "But I'm not going down without a fight…"

Henry smirked… but then rushed forward, preparing to strike Walter down. The blonde held out the plank, guarding against the attack. He then brought it back and swung, hitting Henry square in the right temple.

The brunette stumbled a bit, but regained his composure. "Not bad…" He readied his weapon. "But I'm going to be the victor today…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, where are we going, James?" asked Mary.

"Wherever that whore is, right?" spat Eileen.

"Well, I'm not really sure…" answered James. "I guess the nearest hotel or something…"

"But we have to find that slut!" exclaimed Eileen again. James shrugged. "Look, Maria shouldn't even be al-,"

"What's a slut?" inquired Laura. Both James and Mary seemed a tad distressed at the question, but Eileen only grinned. "A _slut_ is a woman who sells herself to other men and women for money. They're usually poor suckers who can't do anything else."

" 'Sells herself'?"

"Well, yes, you see-,"

"I think that's enough," remarked Mary with a nervous giggle. "But I was just getting to the good parts," responded Eileen sadly.

It had been about seven minutes since South Ashfield Heights had been destroyed. Child Walter and Frank were still completely out of it, though… Frank's cellular phone suddenly rang. James fished in his pocket before bringing it out and looking at it.

"The battery had died, though…" He shrugged and answered it. "Hey, James?"

"Maria…" he replied sternly. "Yeah, it's me… Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that me and a pal of mine are following you… See that taxi behind that trashy car of yours?"

James glanced at his rear-view-mirror, seeing the yellow vehicle following right behind his own. He squinted to see Maria inside, waving at him, and a strange young man dressed in a suit sitting in the passenger seat.

"I just called to let you know we'll be keeping an eye on you!"

Before James could reply, the phone died once more. Eileen and Mary cast James nervous glances. "That… was her, wasn't it?" asked his formerly deceased wife.

"Yeah, she's following us in that taxi…"

"Well then let's go slaughter her!"

"That's a tad…"

"…barbaric?"

"Yes, Laura, 'barbaric'."

"But she has to _die_!"

"Um…"

Suddenly, however, something crashed onto the front of the car. James immediately looked forward, seeing Pyramid Head hunched in front of the wind shield. Before he could react, the demon had shot a hand through the glass and wrapped it around the man's throat. Pyramid Head yanked James out, the rest of the glass shattering.

"Why, hello, James." Pyramid Head yanked James out, hurling him into a café nearby. It turned, the Great Knife slicing through the hood of the vehicle. The others ducked, pulling Frank and Child Walter down as well.

Eileen and Mary looked up, noting the fact that… the car was heading straight towards a bus lodged inside a building!

"Oh my God…"

Of course, that was until Laura sprang up, grasped the steering wheel, and turned it wildly to the right; the car, in turn, twirled around, the wheels screeching against the asphalt.

That… didn't stop the car from crashing into a stop sign, though…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria gasped as she saw Pyramid Head land on James's vehicle. Valtiel merely cocked his head to the left. 'So… he is still here…'

"Oh my God… That's… that _thing_!" Maria exclaimed, not really paying attention to what was happening on the road.

"Maria…"

"W-What?" She glanced at the street, barely turning to the right to avoid the bus… but that caused the taxi to slam into James's car.

"Holy shit!" yelled Maria while Valtiel showed no distress at all. "Careful, we would not like for you to meet an untimely demise," he said after a moment. "Tch, screw you…" she replied as he stepped out of the taxi. "Wait, where the hell are you going?"

He did not answer, but only looked up at the roof of a nearby building; he saw two figures seemingly fighting… One had blonde hair, the other brown… "I must be on my way…" he stated before starting a slow walk towards the warehouse.

"Hey…!"

Maria sighed and turned back… only to see Eileen giggling evilly in front of the taxi. "Okay, little wench…" She jerked the driver door open and pulled Maria out, throwing her onto the asphalt. "Heh heh heh…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you… see that, Don?" asked Douglas as they watched Pyramid Head launch himself onto the somewhat old, blue car.

"Actually, I did, _Douglas_."

"That was… Wait, you-,"

The detective heard a _CLICK_; his eyes darted to the right, seeing the young, brown- haired adult holding pistol to his head.

"Now, _Douglas_, don't be difficult… We're only going to take a small trip to the subway… and from there we'll see…"

"Don, what are you talking about? Just put the gun-,"

Don cleared his throat and used his free left hand to raise his sleeve, revealing the 'Halo of the Sun' symbol tattooed on his forearm.

"No… Don, you're-,"

"Yes, yes I am… and by assisting in bringing you and Alessa to our divine Lord, I shall be granted a great reward!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heather awoke quickly as the subway car jolted to a stop. She blinked a few times, trying to adjust her eyes. After some moments, she sat up straight, glancing around. "Where is everybody?" she muttered while standing, noticing the subway car was completely empty.

"They have gone to join our Lord for the beginning of Paradise… You should go as well, Alessa… Time is running thin…"

Heather knew that voice… Oh, how she knew that voice…

She turned to see Claudia standing at the end of the of the subway car, watching Heather closely. "You… you're supposed to be dead…"

"Our magnificent Lord has given me a second chance, and I intend to make the most of it… Please, Alessa, our Lord only wishes to speak with you…"

"Well, tell your "Lord", that he can go shove it; I'm done with you and your cult…"

"Hmm… Perhaps I could change your mind?" Two Missionaries suddenly appeared behind and in front of Heather; she narrowed her eyes. "God…"

"Just a few questions, Alessa… That is all…"

"And, I strongly suggest you cooperate…"

Heather turned to see Don holding Douglas down, a gun aimed at the back of his head. "Douglas…"

"One little thing, and he's a goner…"

Claudia nodded. "Well done, Don… I am glad I approached you with this…"

"It was nothing, Madam Claudia; anything for our Lord…"

Heather sighed, contemplating her decision for a moment. "A-Alright… I'll go with you…" The Missionaries disappeared as Claudia smiled. "Good… good… Now, let us all be on our way…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry slammed his Steel Pipe down; it crashed through the plank of wood and collided with Walter's head, knocking him down.

"See, Walter? You can't win…"

"Why… why… Why are you doing this…?" said Walter weakly as Henry grinned. "Justice, my crazy friend, justice…"

"But… it was just chocolate pudding!"

Henry ground his teeth. "Just pudding…? _Just_ pudding? No… It wasn't just chocolate pudding… and that is something you will never understand… Now, say goodbye…"

Before Henry could land the finish blow, he heard footsteps from behind. "Mr. Townshend… No need to be so violent…"

Both Henry and Walter looked to see Valtiel watching them, his hand behind his back.


	6. Episode VI

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode VI**

Pyramid Head hulked into the café, chuckling demonically. James was slowly getting up, and this was the perfect chance to strike him down…

"Hey, aren't you that guy with the big thing on his head?"

Pyramid Head froze at the voice, gradually turning around to see Laura standing in the midst of the shattered glass, bricks…

"You little girl… We meet again…"

"Um… yeah… why are you going to kill James?"

"Because I have to, and this is the same thing you did last time!" Pyramid Head readied the Great Knife. "You will not stop me now… James is mine!"

Suddenly, however, a fully conscious James sprung onto his attacker, wrapping a metallic cord around his throat. "Laura… run!" shouted James as he tugged on the cord, trying to incapacitate Pyramid Head… not that that was easy…

"But he still hasn't answered my questions!" yipped Laura as the demon grasped the edges of James's jacket and flung him off. The man landed on his back, groaning in pain as Pyramid Head began raising his weapon. The invincible creature brought the Great Knife down, aiming to split James in two; the man quickly rolled out of the way.

"Laura, it's not safe here; I told you to run," stated James as he stood up; the little girl shrugged. "You think I'm going to listen to you?"

"Well, I thought-,"

"You're not getting away!"

Pyramid Head swung his Great Knife horizontally at the two, causing James to dive and push Laura out of the way. "Ow, James!"

"Sorry!" James apologized before turning and seeing his adversary attack once again; he slid away, avoiding the Great Knife as it crashed into the ground, lodging itself there. Pyramid Head attempted a few tugs to try and bring it out, but all were unsuccessful.

Something suddenly hit his helmet. Laura picked up another stone and threw it at the demon, making him bring up his arms in defense as the projectiles collided with his helmet.

"Cursed girl!" he spat as James brought his pistol up. He pulled the trigger, the bullets sailing through the air and penetrating his abdomen.

Pyramid Head staggered back. "Err… You may have won this round, James, but the war is far from over!" it yelled before fading away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before Maria could even stand, Eileen had grasped a handful of her hair, pulled her up, and shoved her face into a street lamp pole.

"How do you like that, _slut_? Does it feel _painful_?" Eileen pulled Maria's head back and slammed it into the pole again. "_Good_, because we have another thirty times before I even think about starting to tear your skin apart!"

"Eileen…! Eileen, stop!" exclaimed Mary as she grabbed her around the waist and yanked her away from attacking Maria.

"N-_No_! She's _dead_!"

Maria blinked a few times, trying to overcome the pain that was coursing through her skull. She looked down, noticing blood running down from her nose.

"Look, Eileen, this isn't the time to act like a barbarian; you don't need to kill her!"

"_Yes, I do_!" Eileen broke free from Mary, making a mad dash at Maria. With her nightstick firmly in hand, she tackled Maria to the asphalt. Before Eileen could attack, however, Maria grabbed the nightstick and threw it out of the opposing woman's hand. She then punched Eileen straight in the face, knocking her back to the ground.

Maria stood up shakily, dusting herself off. "Damn, look! You made me break a freakin' nail!"

"Yeah, go whine to your pet goldfish…"

"That…! What-," Maria stammered while Eileen rushed at her; Maria swiftly ducked, dodging Eileen's fist as it planted an indention in the taxi.

Eileen's target quickly popped up, kicking her back. While Eileen was recuperating from the kick, Maria darted off, running like hell away from the situation.

"Hey! _Hey_! _Get back here_!"

The 20th Sacrament sped after her, grabbing her nightstick from the ground. "Get back here, you whore!"

Mary watched as Eileen chased after her evil twin… but then she noticed James and Laura…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Who the _hell are you_?" demanded Henry, who was glaring at Valtiel angrily. "I was just about to extract my revenge upon Walter!"

The serial killer chuckled nervously as he stood up, dusting himself off.

"Yes, I noticed that," replied Valtiel while glancing at Walter. "However, I cannot allow you to kill him, Mr. Townshend."

"Oh, and why is that?" inquired Henry, whose left eye twitched violently. Walter took this time to slowly move away.

"Our great Lord has decided he may be of use to our causes…"

"What the hell are you talking about? Who's 'our great Lord'?"

"He does not need a name… His mere presence can be felt all around us… He is the embodiment of all human emotions and sin…"

Henry cocked his right eyebrow up. "Yeah, that's nice, but you don't understand; he ate my chocolate pudding, _consumed_ it! That pudding… No, I doubt you'd ever understand… In any case, Walter deserves to be punished! I was alright with the bloody monsters chasing after me… I could care less about the damned ghosts coming through the walls… Hell, I was perfectly fine with losing my alcohol because I had to smash the bottle against Jasper's damn, dead, _head_!"

Henry was furious at this point, his teeth ground. "But, _this_… _This_ was the last straw… I'm going to make friggin' sure Walter_ stays dead this time_!" he screamed, shaking a clenched fist in the air…

"And I'll be **_DAMNED_** if you try and stop me!"

Henry launched at Valtiel, his Steel Pipe high above his head, already coming to down to hit the Lord's right hand man.

"Fool… I had no intention of dirtying my hands… but I suppose it was inevitable…"

Valtiel raised his left index finger, his right hand behind his back. The Steel Pipe crashed against it, stopping completely. Henry ground his teeth, straining his muscles to try and break through Valtiel's single defense, but it was to no avail; the demon only moved his finger to the left, knocking the Steel Pipe straight out of Henry's hands and across the rooftop.

Henry, who was mildly surprised, didn't waste time in immediately reaching behind his shirt and removing his tucked away revolver, which he quickly fired at point- blank- range into Valtiel.

Unleashing the remaining bullets into the demon, Henry watched as he backed away, obviously affected by the force of the ammunition.

However, the demon looked up at Henry, a small smile playing on his face. "You underestimate me, Mr. Townshend…"

With a swift movement of his arm, Valtiel struck Henry in the chest, sending him flying across the roof and straight into the air. His scream of bewilderment sent shivers down Walter's spine as the 21st Sacrament fell all the way down…

The serial killer slowly turned to Valtiel, his nervous giggle returning. "Um… You don't intend for that to happen to me, do you…?"

"Not unless you cooperate; you are not needed for our plans to commence, but you may be useful…"

"Oh…"

"Now, please come with me; time is running short…"

Walter looked around, searching for some way to escape; upon finding nothing, he looked backed to Valtiel.

"Err…"

Walter made a dash to jump off the roof, but he suddenly froze.

"I suggest you choose a safer alternative…" Using his holy(?) powers, the entity pulled the blonde back, his limp body nothing but a rag doll.

"What… are you doing to me?" stammered Walter as he was slammed against the cement floor. "I can easily control your body using what you would call… telepathy…"

Walter rose before colliding with the floor once more. "Hmm… interesting…"

"W-What…?"

Valtiel repeated Walter's punishment several more times before throwing him against the rooftop, releasing his control on the serial killer's body.

"Ah, as I suspected… You are still immortal, even after Mr. Townshend did away with that…"

"My name isn't Mr. Townshend… it's Henry."

Valtiel turned to see Henry climbing back on top of the roof of the warehouse. "How did you… survive…?" inquired the demon as Henry ran and picked up his Steel Pipe. "I caught hold of a bra on a clothesline, so then I started climbing back up…"

"Well, I am guilty of underestimating you as well, Mr. Townshend… and I will now be making my leave."

Valtiel then vanished, leaving Henry to stare at the space where he stood. "It's _Henry_!" he yelled as Walter fell into unconsciousness…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heather and Douglas marched into the large, black chamber, their hands tied behind their backs. Don was walking behind them, his gun pointed at their heads. "One move, and I'll plant a nice, little bullet in your heads… Got that?"

"Yeah, yeah, like the last twenty- one times…" Heather responded sarcastically.

"Careful with that mouth of yours, lass; I could care less if you're the Holy Mother or something like that…"

As they walked into the center of the chamber, they made out the figure of Claudia, and a somewhat taller, cloaked person beside her.

Don instantly bowed, so Heather and Douglas shrugged and did the same.

"Ah, I see I was right in entrusting this task to you, Claudia," said the cloaked figure, his diabolical tone echoing throughout the massive, empty room.

"Anything to repay my eternal debt, my Lord…"

Don looked up, standing. "Now then, my reward?"

"Reward?"

"I informed him that he was to obtain a magnificent prize for his accomplishment," answered Claudia, as she lifted her head. The cloaked being nodded. "Yes, you shall be rewarded greatly… but you are no longer of use to our needs…"

"What?" Don backed away as the person advanced forward. "You have served your purpose, and death shall be a fitting reward."

"No!" Don exclaimed as he cocked his pistol and shot at the Lord, the bullets sailing straight through him, but doing nothing to stop his advancing.

"S-Stay the hell away from me!" hollered Don as he pulled the trigger one last time, emptying his gun.

The Lord made a small motion with his gloved, right hand, sending the gun flying out of Don's possession. The young adult quickly fell to his knees, bowing.

"P-P-Please! I beg of you, don't kill me! I'll do anything possible, _anything_!"

The Lord stopped, chuckling evilly. "Intriguing… Fine, then, I'll allow you to live…" Don stood up and nodded hastily. "Y-Yes sir!"

He ran off to Claudia's side, shaking in fear while the Lord continued towards Heather and Douglas.

"I sincerely hope you were treated comfortably..." said the evil figure.

"Oh, we were just peachy," replied Heather as she looked up at the lord. "But just who are you?"

He chuckled. "Who I am is none of your concern, my dear, but it is what I can do…" He turned away, looking around the vast chamber. "My power is truly limitless… There are no restraints on what I can, or cannot do…

The Lord turned back to them, arms folded. "But I require your assistance and perhaps that of Detective Cartland…"

"Assistance for what?" asked Douglas. The Lord nodded. "I aspire to unlock the true power of God… of Samael! But to do this, I need the strength of the Holy Mother… and that is you, Alessa!"

He glided over to her, bending down and pulling her chin slightly forward. "Would you be willing to help me…? Power beyond that of mortal comprehension… Think of the possibilities…"

"_Help_ you? No way! There is absolutely no way I'd be a part in this!" she exclaimed. The Lord stood. "I expected you to answer like that… You were always a tad headstrong…"

"What was that?"

"…Nothing… No, it was nothing… However, I will be allowing you to think about it… I can bring your father back, Alessa, exactly the way he was before… I can bring anyone back, as it is quite simple…"

Heather suddenly relaxed, her expression turning into a frown. "…Dad…? You could do that…?"

"Yes, and much more, suffice to say you cooperate."

He looked back at Don. "You may take them to their quarters, now…" Don nodded and ran over to them as they stood up. "Please think it over, _Heather_…" said the Lord as the captives and their guard disappeared into the darkness.

"So I see you have found Alessa…"

Valtiel appeared, soon followed by Pyramid Head and Maria.

"Damn, thanks for the warning…" Maria told Valtiel as the Lord and Claudia approached them. "Ah, so I would assume James and Walter have survived…?"

Pyramid Head nodded. "My apologies, sire… I failed…"

"Yes, well, it seems Sullivan has retained his immortality… He will be more of a hindrance than I thought, and he has already eliminated the other punisher…" stated Valtiel.

"It matters not… Sullivan will not interfere, and while James's escape of the time pocket _is_ a setback, I have a plan as to how to counteract him."

Valtiel nodded as his master crossed his arms. "You are all dismissed… Do as you may for the time being…"

They all disappeared, leaving the Lord alone for a few moments, until a dog suddenly came up next to him. "So, the plans are coming together… Do you intend to reveal it to the Holy Mother…?"

"If it is absolutely necessary, then yes, I will… You reacquired the soul of the 16th Sacrament?"

"Yes."

"Good… then let the next stage of our scheme begin…"


	7. Episode VII

(Hey, I dunno… You guys want me to put up review responses?)

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode VII**

Walter awoke sleepily, blinking a few times. He wasn't sure of where he was, until he noticed Eileen peering into a refrigerator a little ways off.

"Hey, Henry! I found _more pudding_!"

"_Really_?"

Walter sat up, watching as Henry ran out of a hallway and into the room. "My God, this is a miracle!" shouted the brunette as he darted over to the fridge, looking in.

The blonde ignored them, examining his surroundings. For one, he was sitting on a couch, and a few yards ahead of him was the hallway in which Henry had appeared from; it took a turn to the right, and he supposed it lead to a bedroom.

To his right was a large table, and a little further ahead was the kitchen area Henry and Eileen were at.

He stood up. "Where… Where are we?"

The pudding fanatics turned, smiling with glee at Walter. "_WALTER_!" Henry cried as he rushed at the serial killer, who was expecting to be attacked.

Instead, Henry embraced him, tears running down his face. "Walter, Walter… It's like pudding heaven here! There's so much of it!"

Walter backed away from Henry, eyeing him warily. "Weren't you… trying to kill me?"

Henry wiped some of the tears away. "Well, I was, but I decided it wasn't fun if you were unconscious, but then when we regrouped with the Sunderlands and got this big hotel room, and I found all the pudding, my rage just dissipated…"

"Same with me!" chirped Eileen as she put her cup of pudding down and jumped at Walter, planting a huge kiss on his lips, causing him to stagger back, startled.

"Now, normally, I would never even think about doing that, but it's just so good to see you again, Walter!"

The woman grinned, picking up her pudding and spoon. "I don't know how to describe it… It's… It's like… Several orgasms all at the same time! It's just so pleasurable, and makes me so _happy_!"

Walter just stared at her as Henry hopped back with a chocolate pudding in hand. "Come, Walter, join us as we dance a very joyous dance! _The dance of pudding_!"

The last two Sacraments began to twirl around, their arms entangled. The blonde only looked at them as if they were whack-jobs… which they were.

"There must be only one explanation for this... I'm in Hell… Yes, that's it… About time, actually…"

He walked to the door. "Well, even though I am extremely happy for you two, I need to find my coat."

"Wait, Walter!" Henry called. "Be careful, 'cause in two hours I'm going to be back to normal and I'm going to want to find you and kill you!"

Walter nodded and walked out.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"James, wake up!"

Laura jumped on James's groin, causing him to yelp and roll off of the bed and onto the floor.

"I thought that would wake you up. Frank wants us to all go out and eat breakfast," she informed him as he struggled to get up. "Go eat? What time is it anyway…?"

"I don't know, maybe ten o' clock…"

"Ten? Is Mary ready, because you seem to be?"

"Yep, and so is Frank, but Mary thought it was okay for you to sleep late; she said you'd had a busy day."

"Well, um, yeah… I did…" James frowned. "I better get ready then…" he said slowly thinking. "Is Henry awake?"

"Yeah, him and that girl are acting like they're drunk, but the blonde guy is still asleep."

"Oh, alright…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry Mason walked slowly through the aisle, inspecting all the articles of clothing. They were shirts- but he swore he noticed a thong somewhere in there- and he couldn't find anything Not that he needed a shirt, but he just felt like browsing around, and if something caught his eye he would purchase it.

The door to the store opened, and in walked a man with long, greasy blonde hair and beige pants. He had a sleeveless black shirt on.

Walter walked up to the counter, and a little, homosexual man skipped up to assist him. "May I help you?" he asked in a high- pitched, girly voice.

"Um, yeah… I noticed you trade coats, shirts, pants, so I wanted to know if an elderly man with a long beard had come in here and offered you a navy blue coat. He had a homeless look about him."

"I'm sorry, sir, but if I recall correctly no man by your description has visited, and no person has brought in a navy blue coat."

Walter sighed with disappointment. "Hmm… Alright, thank you anyways."

As he turned away to leave however, the man called to him. "We do have a lovely collection of coats, though, sir; would you like to see?"

Walter shrugged. "I guess so…"

The gay little man led Walter to the back, pointing at a long, black coat. "That is our best piece, sir, and plus it would look dashingly fashionable on you."

The serial killer scratched his head. "Uh, sure, I'll try it on..."

The man lifted the coat off the rack, and Walter put it on. "Hey, it looks pretty nice… but don't I look a little… Uh… What's the word…?"

"This may help you look a tad better," commented the gay worker as he took out a long, silver wig and stuck it on Walter's head before turning him around to face a mirror.

"What do you think?"

Walter studied it for a moment, grimacing. "The wig makes me look like some guy from a Japanese cartoon…"

"That's because the wig is identical to the hair of famed Final Fantasy VII villain, Sephiroth."

"Seph-… What?"

Walter shook his head. "Um, thank you, but it's just not the same," he said while taking off the wig and coat. "I'll just have to find that homeless guy…"

Suddenly, the glass entrance door and panels exploded. All three of the store's occupants turned to see two men in black body suits run in through the smoke, gas masks planted on their faces.

"He's here, Mistress," said Evil Minion Dude Number One(Who will be known as EMD#1.)

Evil Minion Dude Number Two nodded. "Yes, he is here."

Walter and the gay worker had crouched behind the counter, whilst Harry was standing still, watching them.

"How splendid," came a seductive, female voice. A figure suddenly walked out of the clearing smoke.

It was a woman, with long blonde hair flowing down her back and near her collarbone. She had bright, purple lipstick on, and was wearing a really, _REALLY _long, minkcoat, which was wrapped around her body, but that was good, because she didn't have anything else on, and this isn't an 'M' story…

…Moving on…

She also had on black gloves and boots, and huge, sparkly earrings. She seemed to be smoking something through a long, thin gray tube.

"Oh my God…" said the little gay man, fear evident in his expression. "What?" asked Walter somewhat plainly.

"It's Amelia Maxwell… I didn't think she would come so soon."

"What do you mean? I've never heard of her."

"She's one of the most powerful figures in the underworld… Money, weaponry, drugs, she's got it all…"

"Then… why would she be here, in this store?"

"Our quality is best… she usually sends representatives, but I missed a payment…"

"Payment for _what_?"

"…Wooden bird models…"

"_Bird models_?"

"Yes, I collect them… and it just so happens that Miss Maxwell does as well… she offered to give me a few… for a price…"

"And because you missed a payment they've come to do you in?"

"Yes, basically," the worker answered before standing and waving at the crime lord and her two henchmen.

"Ah, Miss Maxwell, I wasn't expecting you so soon…"

The lady took an inhale from the tube, before blowing a ring of smoke out. "Hello, Fabio, I heard… that you had missed a payment…? I sincerely hope that is not true."

Fabio giggled very nervously. "Well… Um… It… It is, true…"

Amelia sighed deeply… "Oh, Fabio, Fabio, Fabio… We warned you, several times… but I suppose I have nothing left to say…"

She turned to her servants. "You know what to do."

"Yes!" they exclaimed in unison, before EMD#2 unveiled a machine gun from under his right gauntlet. As he started unleashing hell on Fabio, Harry dove forward, pushing the gay little man down before he could get hit. Instead, the bullets headed straight for Walter, who quickly dropped down.

Harry took out his own handgun from his jacket; he rose swiftly, pulling the trigger once, his aim dead on; the single bullet pierced EMD#2's gasmask right in the forehead before he could even fire again.

Amelia's right eye raised. 'Hmm… Not bad looking…'

EMD#1 pressed a few buttons on a device wrapped around his left wrist. Three more henchmen dropped through the glass ceiling, ropes dangling as they landed.

The one facing Walter quickly readied a pistol, aiming it at him. "Here!" Harry yelled while throwing another gun over the desk; it fell into Walter's lap, allowing him to quickly down EMD#3.

EMD#4 ran at the serial killer, unsheathing a Japanese sword from behind his back. He swung at the blonde, who rolled out of the way as the blade sliced through the desk.

Before Walter could shoot though, EMD#5 had already thrown a knife, which hit the pistol out of his hands. The serial killer barely slid to the right of another slash as EMD#5 launched another knife at him.

Walter quickly caught the knife, and countered against another sword attack by striking EMD#4 across the chest; he fell instantly.

Meanwhile, EMD#1 was caught in a fierce gun battle with Harry, while Fabio was crouched behind the remnants of the counter and cash register.

Harry kept running around the store, reloading his weapon as EMD#1 didn't let up with the rain of bullets.

'He's good… Really good,' thought the novelist as he ducked and fired a few shots at his opponent, who mimicked his movements and avoided the bullets. But he was faster than Harry, and managed to nail him in the left arm; Harry cried out in pain as the weapon dropped to the ground. "Don't move," warned EMD#1 as he walked up to him and positioned the gun right on his left temple.

As this occurred, EMD#5 had kicked the knife from Walter's possession and delivered a quick jab to his jaw.

Walter tried his best to block or dodge the hits, but EMD#5 was just too speedy, and succeeded in knocking the blonde down and holding him there with his boot.

Amelia began to clap, a smile on her face. "Brilliant, absolutely brilliant… I applaud you two for defeating three of my followers."

"What do you plan to do with us?" inquired Harry as he cupped the wound on his arm. "I haven't exactly decided, but I suppose I can take you prisoner for the time being; you both may make excellent servants."

Fabio stood up, smirking. "Does this mean you'll let me go?"

Amelia laughed. "Of course not, Fabio, as you'll be joining these fine men; let us go."

(So… how will Walter get out of this one? And what role does Harry play in the Lord's great plan…? Especially the younger Harry, who has no clue who Heather is? You'll just have to wait and see.)


	8. Episode VIII

(Okay, I've decided… REVIEW RESPONSES!... Actually, they're just a test… If they don't go over well, no responses for j00!)

_SageoWind218: _Yep, that was a '21 Sacraments' reference. I noticed a lot of similarities between Sephiroth and Walter… The incest with their moms, the hair, the coat… The Masamune… The killing of the lead female role… Blah blah blah…

_Gaia Faye:_ I have no clue what the hell is going on… You don't want to know what I have to drink to write this story…

_21121:_ That means I have forever changed a life; this story has done good! Since Walter is my favorite character, he gets tortured that much more. Oh, by the way, that picture in your Live Journal is spectacular; you drew it, correct?

_wiezerdgamir: _True, correct, correct… Well, since this the Harry from the first Silent Hill, maybe… Heh heh heh… Popular? _This is popular_? Huh, cool…

_Inguz: _Irony is bliss… Wait, wrong line… Damn… Atmospheric? Whoa… Thanks, mate. No, I'm not Australian.

**Silent Hill: The Crappy Plotline; Episode VIII**

By the time James was done getting ready, Laura had already beaten Child Walter and Frank fifty- seven times in a row for Tic-Tac-Toe.

As he stepped into the living room though, his father rushed over to him.

"James!" he said loudly while grasping him by the shoulder. "You see, James, I was right; I am your father, and there are some things you just can't keep hidden from me."

"Dad, what are you-,"

"The first time I saw Laura I knew it… You and Mary had a child before you were even married, and you kept it from us!"

"_What_? Dad, Laura is_ not_ our child!"

"You are in denial, my son, but worry not, for everything will be all right."

"But, Dad-,"

"Is something wrong?" Mary asked as she hopped up beside her husband/killer. "Uh… My dad thinks Laura's our daughter…"

"Well, we are going to adopt her, aren't we?"

"No, I don't mean-,"

"Can we get going now? I'm hungry…" whined the eight year- old as she looked towards them.

James sighed. "Oh well, let's go… Wait, where are we going?"

"Dunky-Dunks."

"_What_?" James gasped at his father's reply. Frank smirked. "They have real good food, Jamesy- my boy."

"Don't call me that! Not even Mary knows about that…"

Frank laughed. "But I'm so happy, James! I have a granddaughter that I never knew about! You're _alive_! _Mary's_ alive! We should go celebrate! Yell alleluia! My belief in miracles has been rekindled!"

As he finished saying this Henry had slid right next to them. "Hey… could you guys bring back some food? Eileen's eating all the pudding!"

"Uh, sure," James said quickly as Mary and Laura were walking out the door. He and Frank soon followed.

"Okay, bye!" exclaimed Henry as he shut the door. Eileen dashed right next to him. "Henry, I found a note in what of the puddings!"

"Uh, where is it?"

"I ate it, by accident, but I remember what it said…"

"Eileen, the note's on your forehead; it's a Post-It."

"What?"

"You didn't eat it," he answered while tearing the Post-It off and reading it. "_who3var j00 r stop 3ttin my pudding, for teh 3t3rnl cur53 5h! for3vr hun7 j00._"

"A curse? We're going to die, Henry!"

The brunet chuckled. "No we're not; let's just keep eating the pudding!"

"_YAY_!"

Suddenly, however, the sound of a toilet flushing could be heard. They turned around, watching as Child Walter stumbled out of the restroom, his underwear on his head.

"Is she g-gone…? Laura…?"

"What the hell?" Henry said as he looked at Eileen.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you're thinking about hot sex in the shower, then no, I'm not thinking what you're thinking, you nasty little rascal."

"Of course I'm not thinking about hot sex in the shower, silly! I'm thinking about pudding!"

"_YAY_!"

Henry, with a wide grin on his face, turned back to Child Walter. "Hey, little Walter, there's something I want to show you…" he stated as he took out a pudding from his pocket and waved it around.

"Really?" choked the innocent side of his arch nemesis. "Yeah…" Henry took out a spoon. "Here…"

Child Walter threw off his underwear, and saw, to his utmost horror, Henry, holding a spoonful of chocolate pudding.

"No… _No_! I hate pudding, I hate it! They always gave it to us at the orphanage to torture us!"

He screamed bloody murder as Henry grabbed his head and shoved the pudding into his mouth…

The only thing that could be heard was Henry and Eileen's maniacal laughter…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walter fell against the cold floor hard, his head throbbing. Harry was thrown into the rusty old cell next, and finally Fabio.

"Now, nothing fishy, you doodle-dumps!" warned Evil Guard Geek(Who will be known as EGG, from this point on).

He closed the cell, locking the steel gate, before walking off, humming "Somewhere over the Rainbow".

Harry sat up, dusting his jacket off. "Damn… Can't believe this is happening," he said.

Walter sighed as he leaned against the brick wall, staring at the novelist. "You have no idea, man… My coat's gone… That blasted hobo… and Henry… Ack, what the-,"

Walter fell to the floor, stopping himself with his hands. "Damn… The taste…" he coughed, "of pudding… No…"

He coughed several more times, before looking up at the moldy ceiling, his eyes bloodshot. "_Curse you, Henry Townshend, curse you_!"

The serial killer fell back down, silent. The red- haired Fabio looked at Harry with a curious expression; the novelist only shrugged.

Harry chuckled. "I just noticed that we don't even know each other's names… Huh, I'm Harry Mason."

"Walter… Walter Sullivan…" gasped the blond exasperatedly as he got up. "Fabio Lesbiany."

"Lesbiany?" asked Harry.

"Well, yes," confirmed the queer.

"Don't you guys think we should try and think of a way to get out of here?" suggested the blond.

"If only there was a way to get out of here…"

All three men turned to the cell opposite theirs, seeing a brown- haired man with glasses looking at them from behind the gate.

"Who are you?" asked Harry plainly, eyeing him oddly. "Vincent," replied the guy as he glanced around. "Okay, Vincent, what do you mean?"

"You can't just get out of this place… There are guards around every corner… Armed… Security devices, cameras… it's like a little mini prison, but Miss Maxwell's got everything…"

"Oh, there has to be a way," stated Walter as Vincent grinned. "I've gone through it a few times in my head; the only way you survive is if Miss Maxwell wants you too… If not, that's pretty much it…"

"How did you get here, anyway," inquired Harry. Vincent groaned. "After that wench, Claudia, stabbed me and I blacked out, I woke up on the streets of Silent Hill with this horrible migraine… and this chick who was on top of me." He pointed behind him, at Lisa Garland, who was crawling forward out of the shadows.

As she got on her knees, buttoning up her blouse, she gasped. "Harry!"

The novelist stared at her suspiciously. "Lisa…"

"You two know each other, or something?' questioned Walter. "I suppose you could say that," replied Harry as he scratched his head.

"Well, anyway," Vincent continued, "some of Miss Maxwell's goons were doing a swoop of Silent Hill; finding us, especially in the position we were in, they chucked us into a cell, for no reason at all."

"Yeah, and what happened to you?" Lisa asked.

"Wait, what were you doing in that position anyway?" said Fabio.

"I don't know really…"

"_Just because I sleep with every guy I meet does not mean I'm a hooker_!"

"What was that, Lisa?"

"Um… nothing…"

"Look, we _did not sleep together_," stated Vincent as Harry stood up and folded his arms. "We need to find an escape route… Who knows what Maxwell has planned…?"

"It's definitely something big," remarked Vincent. "This is a pretty large underground facility; I believe they're constructing something."

"But what would they be building?" asked Walter. "Eh, who cares, really? It doesn't involve me," replied Vincent.

"Hey, I found something," said Harry loudly as he pulled the dingy, old mattress away from the wall. "What is it?" inquired Fabio and Walter in unison. "It's a hole… This may be a way out!"

Walter crawled over to it, peering into the darkness. "It's a small… I doubt either of us can get through it…"

Both of them looked over at Fabio, curiously.

"What?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Douglas snored loudly, causing Heather to cover her ears as she sat up against the wall. It was a somewhat large cubicle, just big enough for both of them. There was any furniture or items inside of it, so, like the rest of the evil fortress thing, it was dark and bland.

The sound of footsteps alerted her.

"Douglas…"

He kept on snoring, sound asleep.

"_Douglas_!" she whispered harshly.

The detective stopped, yawning loudly; he looked up at her. "What is it?"

"He's coming."

"Oh… okay…"

Don walked up to the door of their cubicle, unlocking it, and sliding it open; he was holding a tray of steaming food in his right hand, and a gun in his left.

"Okay, here's your food…" He set the tray down, but before he left, Heather stood up, approaching him.

"You know, Don… you're quite attractive," she said in the most seductive voice she could summon. "Um, I am?" asked Don, in disbelief.

"Oh yeah…" Heather slid her hand over his pistol one, making him shudder and drop the weapon. She grasped his hand gently, placing it on her thigh and slowly raising it.

"Yes…" As he stared in shock and pleasure, she slammed a fist into the back of his neck, knocking him out; she caught the gun and bent down, inspecting his body. Upon finding another one, she threw it to Douglas.

"Come on, let's bring 'em down."

(I had to cut this chapter a little short…)


	9. Episode IX

_SageoWind218:_ Usually, when Child Walter enters a scene, he'll be coming out of a bathroom. As for the 'passion', you have to understand that Henry and Eileen are high off of pudding, and since this is mainly a humor story, I can put in little random things like that. 21121 took that down, from the last time I checked.

_Gaia Faye:_ Ah, 'Invader Zim'… Haven't seen that in quite awhile…

_wiezerdgamir: _Yes, Frank is a little slow… You don't want to go to Dunky-Dunks… Nope… There's a limit to how much pudding you can eat… They have to pay… Yep, and expect some more of Lisa later on… I think…

_21121: _Well, if Laura really _was _their child, James should've grounded her… Little evil brat… Yep, poor Walter… Yep, Vincent… is… um… Vincent.

_chobin hood: _Hey, thanks!

Oh yeah, the Disclaimer; always forget about these things… **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SILENT HILL OR METAL GEAR SOLID. 'Nuff said.**

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode IX**

Henry opened his eyes, sitting up slowly. He had a horrible headache, you know, the type you get when you have a hangover. He looked around, eyeing the many empty puddings cases with disgust. "What the hell…?" He stood up, shakily, noticing that he had been lying down on the floor, and that Child Walter was munching on 'Cheez-Its' while watching 'Law and Order'.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Where is everyone else?"

Child Walter glanced at him and then back at the television set. "They left a few hours ago, I think. Here, you want some?" He shook the box of 'Cheez-Its' toward Henry, but the brunet shook his head. 'Thanks, but… I'm not hungry…"

"I wouldn't be either after all that pudding you ate."

"What do you mean? _I_ ate all that pudding?"

"No, she did too, but you both ate all of it, and even made me eat a chocolate one."

"_She_?"

At this time, the sound of someone puking could be heard. Henry rushed to the restroom and swung the door open, only to see Eileen kneeling down in front of the toilet, vomiting into it. After pressing down on the flushing switch, she turned to Henry. "Hey… Henry…" She then fell unconscious, her head falling into the toilet.

Henry shuddered and closed the bathroom door. Suddenly, though, the phone rang, and Child Walter answered it; after a few moments, he looked to Henry.

"It's for you."

"Uh… Okay…" He took the phone from the younger version of his eternal adversary and held it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Henry Townshend?"

"Mysterious person?"

"Ah, good, good… Henry, I need to speak with you."

"Hold on; just who the hell are you?"

"Just call me… _Lower Neck_…"

"Lower Neck? Can't I just call you, 'Deep Throat'?"

"_No_!"

"…Okay…"

"Now, Henry, I want you to come to Dunky-Dunks, so that we may discuss the current-,"

"_Dunky-Dunks_? Are you _insane_?"

"Yeah, I know they have bad sushi, but-,"

"_That's not what I mean_! That place is… _Ugh_…"

"We'll only be five minutes; besides, that's the last place our enemies would look for us."

"Enemies?"

"Yes, that's what I wanted to explain; it'll benefit both of us; just come on."

"How can I trust you?"

"Oh, I think you already trust me…"

"What…?"

The mysterious man hung up, and Henry contemplated his decision. "Okay… take care of Eileen, little Walter, and I'll be back soon." He then left… without taking his trusty Steel Pipe…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You want me to find a way out?" asked Fabio fearfully as he stared into the dark hole. "Well, you're the only one that can fit," said Harry as he leaned against the wall, his arms folded. "Yeah," Walter added rather plainly.

Fabio sighed. "Alright…" He crawled inside, making his way into the darkness…

"Hey, Harry, I have to apologize…"

Harry looked towards the other cell, and Lisa was staring at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, I never got to you, and I was thinking that once we get out of here, you know…" she said as EGG approached. "What do you jackasses think you're doing?"

"Talking," Lisa answered.

"Did I tell you, you could talk, you little horny whore?"

"You're right about the horny part, but _I'm not a hooker_!" she screamed while removing a pistol from under her skirt and shooting EGG square in the chest, bringing him down.

Vincent was speechless. "You've had a gun this entire arm?" She smiled and nodded as Walter reached his arm out of the cell, taking the pair of keys hanging loosely in EGG's pocket.

"Yes, now we can get out of here!"

He kept his arm out of the cell, bending it to be able to unlock the door, which he then pushed open, allowing both him and Harry to run out.

"Over here," said Vincent as he waved at them. Walter nodded and freed them while Harry took two guns from EGG's armor. "Seems he was carrying some extras…" He chucked one to Walter. "Let's not waste any time."

The serial killer caught the weapon, but frowned. "What about that Fabio guy?"

"He's not important; let's get going," responded the novelist before he sped down the hall. The blond watched him go, continuing to frown. "That's… weird…"

**Meanwhile, with Fabio…**

The gay clothing salesman fell out of the tunnel and into a small room. He groaned and got up, looking around. He seemed to be in a laundry room, and he saw two henchmen talking in front of a few drying machines, seemingly waiting for their clean uniforms.

"…think Miss Maxwell will want to use that thing?"

"Huh? Metal Gear?"

"No, the cheesecake machine!"

"Oh, that! Thought you were talking about the super secret destructive Metal Gear…"

"No, you numbskull! I'm talking about the cheesecake machine we gave her for her birthday!"

"Yeah, yeah, she does like her cheesecake…"

"Anyway, want to go get a Powerade or something?"

"Rather get a Gatorade…"

"Hey, who the hell's that?"

"What?"

"That guy dressed like a fairy! Where'd he go?"

"Huh? _What_?"

"G-Get out of here! He's… behind that wastebasket!"

"Huh? Wha-,"

"_Smithy_! No!... _ARGH_!"

…A few minutes later, a guy wearing a slightly oversized uniform waddled out of the laundry room, and found himself inside a humongous chamber with a gigantic machine/dinosaur thing in the center; hundreds of scientists and henchmen were running around.

'What's that?' thought Fabio as he looked up at the machine…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

James sighed as he leaned back in the driver's seat. At the rate they were moving through this traffic, they would reach Dunky-Dunks in about three hours… much to James's dismay.

"Dad… Why do we have to go _there_?"

Frank grinned. "It's a great restaurant, Jamesy- my boy!"

"But… the last time we went there…"

**James's Flashback…**

"What, what the hell are you doing in that restroom stall?"

"N-No, wait! It's not what you think!"

"Get… Get out of there! You sick dog!"

"It's not what it looks like! Let me explain!"

"James, what's all this fuss- _Oh my God_!"

"Mary, no! Wait…!"

**Back to the Present…**

"They barred me from that place after that… and plus, the place is just… ugh…"

"Oh, that was years ago, Jamesy- my boy!"

"And what did I say about that name?"

"I remember that, actually…"

"What were you doing in there, anyway?"

"Um, nothing, Laura… You're too young to understand…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Douglas sneezed loudly, causing Heather to jump suddenly.

"Don't, _Don't do that_!"

"Sorry… It's just so damn cold in here…"

Heather only sighed and continued walking down the dark hallway, her weapon at the ready. "Where do you think we are, anyway?" asked Douglas curiously as he looked around. "Probably somewhere underground… Don't know, really…"

The hallway then began to tremble violently, and a gigantic crack split through the floor, separating the two. "_Wha_?" exclaimed Heather in surprise as she almost stumbled into the blackness below.

"I'm going to fall!" yelled the detective, however; he staggered backwards, his gun almost dropping out of his hand.

"Here!" he shouted, throwing the handgun towards Heather. "I don't think I'll need it!"

"_Douglas_!"

The floor beneath him crumbled, and he fell… Heather darted over to the edge, looking over into the darkness.

"Douglas? Douglas!"

"…I'm okay!" he hollered back. She let out a sigh of relief… until another voice reached her ears.

"Now, Alessa, let's not be difficult…"

Heather looked back, seeing Claudia standing on a large platform protruding from the wall. The young adult was now inside a massive room, and across from her was her nemesis.

"Did you do that?"

Claudia nodded. "Our Lord has granted me power, but barely any. In any case, I cannot let you leave."

Heather scowled at her. "I'd like to see you try!"

Claudia smiled confidently. "Alright then…" A strong gust of wind swept past Heather, and six Missionaries stepped out from behind the six pillars in the room.

"So you're hiding behind your little monsters again, eh?" Heather laughed, bringing up her guns…


	10. Episode X

_The Nirvana that Feeds: _I don't even own any of the games; I just watch my friend-who is a big fan and has all the games- play, so that's where I get the jokes from. And the Deep Throat part wasn't inspired by that. Are you _sure_ you don't know what Jamesy was doing? 

_Gaia Faye: _Yep, poor Eileen; I was beating on Walter too much… I've never even had and 'Cheez-Its'… Ironic, isn't it?

_SageoWind218: _You better not; too much pudding is bad for you. Yeah, I guess he is… You spelled 'Vengeance' wrong.

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XXX**

**Wait… That's wrong…**

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode X(XX)**

**There it is!... No, hold on…**

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode X**

**Now we're talking.**

Henry slowly strode through the entrance of Dunky-Dunks; the smell of gasoline, chocolate doughnuts, and French fries greeted him.

'Why did that guy have to make me come here…?'

Dunky-Dunks was a somewhat large, two-floor building split up into three sections. The entire top floor was the 'Classy' section, deserved only for the most prestigious and wealthy people; in other words, the mafia.

The bottom floor held the other two sections. One was for common folk, regular class. The other was for, well, you don't want to know…

Henry, deciding he didn't want to waste time, walked up to the front desk thing. The woman standing behind the large, wooden desk snorted as she looked up at him. Her uniform was basically a long, red dress, and a weird blanket thing draped across her arms.

"What?" she asked annoyingly, and Henry's eyes wandered, finding that there was a nametag pinned on the blanket thing.

It read: **CYNDY**

**"**Alright, _Cindy_, I'm here to meet someone."

"Who?" Cindy scratched her chin, her long brown hair framing her face.

"That's it; I don't know who it is, but he probably looks mysterious."

"Oh, okay. A guy came in a little earlier like that; said someone would be looking for him."

She turned slightly and pointed to the doorway that led to the normal, common section of the place.

"Thanks," muttered Henry as he walked past the desk and into the next room.

As he did this, the entrance door opened again, and the Sunderlands walked inside, James looking around nervously. "Oh man… I never liked this place…"

"You're just acting like a big baby," stated Laura. "You don't know, Laura, so don't say anything," replied James slightly angrily.

"Oh, just relax, James," said Mary as Frank placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Exactly Jamesy- my boy, and besides, we're here to celebrate what a miraculous day it has been!"

James only made a sobbing sound.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heather rolled out of the way of another attack, quickly rising and filling the Missionary full with lead; it dropped to the floor with a loud thud, but two more rushed at her from behind it. Another one behind her attempted a strike, but she back flipped, landing behind it as it hit one of the other two Missionaries.

She swiftly brought her arms up, straight to both of her sides, planting a bullet in both of the two attackers coming from the sides.

Heather then aimed directly in front of her, shooting down the next two demons, but the last one hadn't been hit, and was now dashing straight at her.

She pulled the triggers.

_CLICK_.

'Damn.'

The final monster rammed into her, knocking the girl against the wall. She fell into a sitting position, but as the Missionary prepared a final attack, she kicked it, and then once more. It fell, and Heather ended it with a good 'ol stomp.

She looked towards Claudia, a great big, triumphant smirk on her face. "Is that the best you can come up with?"

Claudia smiled evilly. "That was only the beginning, Alessa…"

Heather spun around, seeing about thirty Missionaries coming from all sides, slowly advancing towards her. Claudia threw something at her, and Heather caught it.

"Hey, it's my katana!"

The demons roared and went at her, but the young woman quickly twirled and decapitated four of them; she then stabbed one coming from behind, jerked the blade out, and slashed away another three.

Heather speedily glanced up at where Claudia had been standing, and noticed the priestess was walking out into a room behind her.

She didn't have time for that now, as more Missionaries were attacking; she crouched down and rolled forward, slicing through their legs before flipping up and striking two down. Upon landing, she ducked, avoiding a swipe, and then forcing the sword through the creature's abdomen. She swung it around, knocking down about six Missionaries.

Deciding now was the time, she ran forward, slicing down the demons in quick succession until she reached a set of stairs that led up to the balcony area Claudia was at. More monsters stopped her advancement, and she blocked a few attacks before countering and striking them down, kicking one down the stairs so that it hit a few more at the bottom.

Five more launched through the flooring, jumping up into the air. Heather leapt against the wall and kicked off of it, slashing through them. She rolled once she hit the floor, stopping and stabbing another creature. Spinning around and sweeping the one from behind off its feet, she sliced through the demon she had stabbed.

Ten Missionaries were crawling along the wall before her, bouncing off. With a cry, Heather rushed at them, slashing at them before they even got to her. The remaining creatures sped up the stairs at her, but Heather stood her ground, keeping a defensive position as they reached her.

She struck the first two, but one jumped from behind them and hit her down; she rolled back though, slicing it in half vertically before launching herself into the fray, cutting through the rest with incredible speed.

And that was it. She tried to regain her breath, swinging the katana to the right so that the black liquid staining it could fly off. She sighed and walked into the next room… only to find herself inside a much smaller area. It was snowing, but the sky was pitch black, and the ground was a lush white.

Claudia was standing a little ways off, her back to Heather. "It is almost here, Alessa… The gateway to Paradise shall be opened…"

"What do you mean?"

"Our Lord's plan is almost complete… He only needs the true power of Samael, and once he has become like a god, the tainted ones of this pitiful world will allowed a second chance, and the pure will be lifted up into Heaven…"

Heather snorted. "I'm tired of all that nonsense; where is your "Lord" anyway?"

"He is taking care of something which he must; do not worry over it."

"Oh, I'm not," she responded while raising the sword, "I was just curious."

"You would stand against him…?" Claudia turned, the sheath of her own sword gripped tightly in her left hand. "I cannot allow that, Alessa, but I sincerely hope you are prepared."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Seal off the west block! We need to contain those prisoners!"

"We need to make sure Miss Maxwell doesn't hear about this either! With the super-secret-Metal-Gear-we're-not-supposed-to-talk-about-at-all being activated today, we can't have these rats getting in the way!"

"Wait, it's them! Open fire!"

Harry dove behind a corner as the bullets sailed right past him. He rolled out, firing at the five guards, which were dressed exactly like all the other henchmen. They dispersed, three hiding behind a random pillar in the center of the hallway, and the other two taking cover behind another corner.

"Harry! Hold on!" shouted Walter as he, Lisa, and Vincent caught up to him. The novelist shot down the two guards, but one of the other three threw a somewhat small, silver sphere out towards them.

"Move!" yelled Harry as the sphere exploded, casting smoke everywhere.

"Damn, where'd they go?"

Several more gunshots, barely missing them. The group ran out of the hallway and into the next, shooting at the three guards as they came into view. One of them ducked however, and brought a small radio to his gas mask thing. "Requesting backup! Repeat, requesting backup! The prisoners are armed and-,"

_BANG_.

Harry stood over him as he fell, dead. "Idiot…" he muttered harshly as Walter stepped up next to him.

"That… that was cruel! You shot him right in the temple!"

"So?" he asked back casually. "He probably deserved it."

"Well what if he didn't?" retorted Walter. "What if he was just some poor, random bastard who liked cheesecake?"

Before Harry could respond, though, seven more evil guards came around the corner, their machine guns raised.

"Let's move!" commanded Harry before the four sprinted down the corridor before them…

**Back with Fabio…**

The disguised Fabio slowly made his way forward, nudging one of the henchmen next to him. "What's that?" he questioned while pointing at the gigantic machine.

The minion suddenly slapped him. "What are you? An idiot? That's Metal Gear Rex Version 2.0! Miss Maxwell found the design plans for it with this random Russian guy at a corner store… weird, huh?"

"Yes, but why does she even want it?"

"For a variety of reasons, but it's mostly for money. Sell that thing on the black market or eBay, and you'll millions of dollars for it. You'd be surprised how many evil, maniacal freaks are out there looking for a doomsday device."

Fabio shrugged when the large, metal doors behind them blew open, and in ran Harry Mason, Walter Sullivan, Lisa Garland, and Vincent… Vincent… What's his last name again?

"Now where are we?" thought Walter aloud as all the henchmen in the room looked towards them. "Aren't those the escapees?"

"Yeah, I think they are! _Get them_!"

Before the tons of evil minions could open fire however, there was a loud cough.

"I wouldn't do that, lads…"

Everyone looked up to see an old man with a long, gray beard standing upon Metal Gear; he was wearing a long, navy blue coat…

"It's that old guy that ransacked my coat!" Walter shouted while pointing up at him. The old man grinned. "Ah, yes, I must thank thee, my boy, but unless you want your precious little weapon going to kingdom come, I wouldn't do anything fishy."

Suddenly, a bullet whizzed past the old man's head. "Okay, just shut up, you stupid old geezer."

They all looked at Lisa. "You could've killed him!" exclaimed a random minion. "If you'd pay attention, dimwit, you would've noticed I _purposely_ missed him," responded the woman. "But that was just a warning shot; the Metal Gear is mine."

Everyone gasped. "Lisa, why would you want it, you're not like that!" said Harry as he stood in front of her.

"Power, Harry, power. I've known about this for awhile now, but I had to find a way to get to it. When I found Vincent, he was drunk, so I knocked him out, and since he was in Silent Hill, I knew Maxwell's goons would find us eventually."

"Lisa, that doesn't even make any sense," replied the novelist. "You're spouting nonsense."

"_Nonsense_?" She laughed maniacally. "I know exactly what I'm doing!" She then punched Harry hard, knocking him down.

Walter was about to run over to them, but she spun around, gun in his face. "Sorry, losers, but it's mine!"

Lisa then ran over to the machine, bullets grazing against the floor after her. With a mighty leap, she landed on the open hatch on its front face, sliding into the nice, black, leather seat.

'Hey, there's even a massage button…'

"Wait, Lisa!" screamed Henry over the roar of the humongous boosters as they suddenly turned on. The steel hatch closed as the war machine began to hover in the air. Panic spread throughout the crowds as the guards, minions, and others shot at the mechanical terror. The great tail behind it swept across the floor, knocking aside many people.

'She knows how to use it…' thought Harry as Metal Gear Rex Version 2.0 crashed through the ceiling, bursts of fire injuring all the people around it, and the old man was nowhere to be seen…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on James, let's go get our food at the buffet," said Mary, getting only a strange look from her husband/killer.

She only sighed as Frank came and dropped a plate stuffed with all sorts of foods. He sat beside Laura, who was looking disgustedly at her… "Kiddy" cup, which was painted a bright yellow with the big, red letters: **DUNKY KIDS!**

"…Can't I have like, beer, or something?"

"Laura, you're too young to be drinking alcohol," stated Mary sternly as the eight year-old groaned. "Okay…"

Mrs. Sunderland smiled. "Well, I'm going to be getting my food; behave, James."

"Aren't you supposed to tell Laura that?"

But Mary was already heading for the buffet area…

**HENRY TIME!**

Henry looked around, trying to find the mysterious guy that had called him… and that's when he saw him. A man, wearing a brown bowler hat and coat, was sitting at a small table at the back of the room. He approached him.

The man didn't even need to look up, but only waved an arm out. "Please, have a seat."

Henry sat, eyeing the guy suspiciously. He was sort of glad about coming here because his smell blended in.

"Who are you?" asked Henry bluntly as the man took a sip from his tea cup. The hat and coat hid his identity, and the brunet could not see his face.

"You know who I am, Henry, the same way I know you."

"I don't understand…"

"15121."

"…_Joseph_?"

"Correct."

Joseph Schreiber raised his head slightly. "There are devious things playing out, Henry… I had to speak with you…"

"Yeah, okay, sure…" Henry leaned back. "Does this… involve Walter?"

"Why, yes, yes it does. In fact, Walter Sullivan plays a crucial role in this."

"Like, _how_?"

"As I'm sure you know, Henry, Walter, Jasper Gein, Cynthia Velasquez, and I were all dead. Doesn't it seem strange that we all just came back to life?"

"Yeah, it was weird, but I just thought it was the type of thing that Walter does. Kills himself with a spoon, comes back, get hacked by me, comes back… You know what I mean."

Joseph nodded. "Yes, but there is a force much more powerful than Walter Sullivan at work… he was only a mere pawn, as was The Order; they were just simple tools."  
"What was controlling them?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but this force has been pulling the strings ever since Silent Hill was built, but-,"

A loud crash could suddenly be heard.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mary zoomed through the rows of food, her plate held firmly. She quickly found the chicken teriyaki, but a voice stopped her.

"I like that too, but I guess I should…"

That voice. It could only belong to… _Maria_.

**Dun Dun DUN!**

Mary looked back, surprised. "_You_! You're that woman… the one James knew!"

"Yeah, he talked a lot about you too. I don't see the big deal, though… but I'm Maria, and you're Mary. Good, we're done with introductions."

"What, what do you want?" inquired Mary somewhat angrily as she backed away. "Oh, I just want to talk with James…"

"Forget it. You're not talking to him."

"_Oh_?"

Maria laughed. "I'd love to know how you're going to stop me."

"By force, if I have to."

"You're kidding, right?" There was a crash all of a sudden, and Maria frowned. "Oh, great… That jerk, Valtiel, wants to ruin my fun."

**Now to Pyramid Head, who had hulked into the building, destroying the wall…**

The tall demon glanced around, watching as all the frightened little people ran around in panic. With a heavy sigh, he dragged the Great Knife inside, too lazy to pick it up.

That's when he saw James… and Laura, who rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"Oh man, it's him again…"

James quickly stood up, his expression fearful. Pyramid Head only shook his head, but it was hard to tell, with the helmet and all. "I'm not here for you, James; I'm only here to pick someone up… Someone who's broken a few rules…"

And that's when Frank came back with his second plate of food, since he didn't want to wait until he finished his first. He dropped it.

"I don't believe it…"

Pyramid Head stared at him for a moment, before chuckling. "And here I was thinking you'd died…"

Frank furrowed his brow and clenched his fists. "You know I can't die until I've sent you to Hell and back."

Pyramid Head nodded. "Yes… but that was years ago, Frank… back when I was only a foolish apprentice, and you were the master… but I am the master now…"

"Only a master of pure evil, _Jim_."

"That name means nothing to me anymore, _Frank_."

Pyramid Head brought the Great Knife up and over his head. "It's time, Frank, to end this!"

Before Frank or James could react, the blade impaled Frank Sunderland, and he was looking up at Pyramid Head with an expression of pure ferocity. However, Pyramid Head jerked the Great Knife out and hit the man to the floor.

"_NO_!" shouted James as he rushed over to his father's side. Pyramid Head sighed.

"I suppose he never told you, James…? Never told you the truth…"

James looked up at the demon heatedly, his teeth ground. "_What_?"

"Frank's been lying to you this entire time, James… He is not your father."

"What… _What are you talking about_?"

"You see James… _I_ am your father!"

(And so begins the many crazy spoofs…)


	11. Episode XI

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XI**

"No, you're not," spat back James as he stood up from beside the wounded Frank. "What type of father would try to turn his son into a sausage? Besides, my dad's right here!"

"First of all, I was not trying to turn you into a sausage, James; I was just doing what my Lord ordered. And that was to eliminate you. At the time, I had not known it was you, but now I know. Frank had taken you in after I became one of The Order…"

**Some dramatic incident involving Frank and Pyramid Head, who was formerly known as James "Jimmy" Stone…**

"Jim, you can't do this!" yelled a much younger Frank, who had dark brown hair and a goatee. They were standing a shaky bridge above a hellish abyss of fire and evilness.

"But it's too late, Frank!" shouted back Stone, who was now wearing a crimson colored robe with a triangular hood. "God has granted me limitless power… My loyalty lies with him now!"

"No, Jim! They're evil! They'll only use you for their diabolical schemes!"

"Wrong, Frank. I have already been charged with the control of the Valtiel sect. My position has been sealed," he replied while raising his arms up to the sky. "Soon, God will return to this world!"

The sort-of-young-Frank sighed, his black jacket and pants swaying in the wind. "I didn't think you would be so power hungry… What of Margaret, and your baby?"

"Margaret and our child will join me, once I take full control of The Order! I have the power! I was chosen!"

"What happened to you, Jim? I thought you were better than this, but I was apparently wrong!" Frank reached for his large revolver jutting out from the back of his pants. "...I'll have to stop you too, then, to save you!"

**Back to the present…**

"Unfortunately I don't remember anything else of it…"

"That's a lie!" James exclaimed back while pointing at Pyramid Head. "I won't believe that!"

"You have no other choice, James. The time is near… Come, join me while there is still time… Together, we can overthrow our Lord, and we shall become the rulers of Paradise!"

James shook his head, scowling. "I would never join you, even if you _are_ my real father!" Pyramid Head chuckled.

"Don't be stupid, James, but if you feel so strongly about it… I know… what about the little girl… I've seen that she may have what it takes…"

"_Laura_? No!" James reached into his pocket, taking out his own Great Knife. "Hey, I forgot I had it in there…"

"So… I see you will try to fight back…" Pyramid Head grasped the Great Knife tightly, raising it in one hand. "Fine then, you imbecile! Once I destroy you there will be no one left to stop me!"

---

"What the hell was that?" asked Henry as he got up from the table. Joseph did the same.

"Hmm… Keep your guard up; it could be the Lord's minions."

"The who's minions?"

Suddenly, however, several Demon Nurses crashed through the windows and into the room; they swung their pipes and weapons malevolently. Henry searched himself, trying to find his Steel Pipe. "Where the hell is it?" he cried while Joseph removed a revolver from his coat.

"There isn't time; just use that chair over there."

Henry looked around, spotting the overturned, somewhat small piece of wood. "But a chair's… just not… right as a weapon…"

"Stop complaining and use the damn thing."

"But-,"

He was cut off though, as one of the nurses bashed him in the head with its pipe, bringing Henry to his knees. "Damn!" he shouted while looking up as the nurse prepared to execute the finishing blow. "Oh no, you don't!"

Henry gathered up his strength and punched at the demon, only to miss and have the nurse swing, knocking him across the room and against the wall.

The Demon Nurse approached its weakened prey, pipe swinging triumphantly. 'Just great… If only I had my pipe…'

However, as Henry closed his eyes and waited for the end, the nurse was struck by a purse and sent to the floor. The brunet man opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow up at his savior. "Eileen? What are you _doing here_?" he demanded while standing.

She giggled and threw his Steel Pipe at him, which he fumbled with before catching it completely. "Well, I noticed you left that behind, and with all of these things happening, I had to make sure you were okay," she replied while ducking under a sudden swipe and retaliating against the nurse with a powerful kick.

"Alright… I guess… and what about little Walter?"

"Oh, he's-," She looked around, a look of terror creeping upon her face. "Shoot! Where did he go?"

"He's at the buffet area," came an answer as Joseph shot through the nurses, clearing a path. He looked back at them, nodding towards the room. "Let's get going."

"Wait, hold on…" Eileen said as she approached him with a quizzical look on her face. "Do I know you?"

"No. Unless you visit cheesecake conventions in Pleasant River."

"No, I don't… I used to visit the pudding ones, though."

"I see… Well, let us not waste time!"

---

"Seems he sent good 'ol Pyramiddy to come and fetch me… Damn, I so wanted to get James…" muttered Maria. Mary scowled, grabbing Maria's arm and spinning her around to face her.

"I'm not done with you yet!"

The more revealing one shrugged. "Sorry, I forgot… What?"

"Whatever, just tell me what's going on! How are you related to James? Why do you look exactly-,"

"Look, I don't even know, to tell you the truth," replied Maria as she folded her arms and smirked. "I'm just getting back at James... but to do so I'm stuck working with all these freaks."

Mary thought for a moment, sighing. "I can't let you kill James," she stated sternly. Maria giggled at this, obviously not phased by it.

"Yeah, you already said something like that… but you and what else exactly?"

Before Mary could even respond, Eileen had dashed in-between the two and delivered a fist to Maria's jaw, causing her to stagger back, surprised. The attacked caught the edge of a buffet counter to stop herself from falling to the floor. Furious, she looked back at Eileen, wiping some fresh blood off her chin.

"_You_…! What, _what are you doing here_?"

"Oh," Eileen started, smirking evilly, "I was just stopping by, and now I have the chance to finish our little skirmish!"

Mary scratched her head. "Wait, could someone _please_ explain to me what is going on?"

The younger brunette girl glanced at the Sunderland, grinning. "Mary! Great, now we can easily kick her ass! We can double-team her!"

"Double… team…?"

"Well, yeah! You know, in those fighting video games where you press a button and switch out characters."

"Um, uh…"

"…What? You _have_ played those types of games, right?"

Before Mary could say 'No', though, two chopsticks sailed past them, barely missing. Maria was in the process of gathering more when Eileen grasped a few of her own. "Now _that_ wasn't very nice!" she exclaimed while launching the wooden utensils at her adversary. Maria quickly grabbed a bowl from the counter and used it to deflect the chopsticks away.

That didn't stop the Twentieth Sacrament, as she delivered a strong kick to Maria's face, shattering the bowl and hitting her face. The blonde cried out and dashed out of the way as Eileen followed up with a downward fist… which landed her hand into the egg soup.

"Oh, fu-,"

She was cut short when Maria slammed another plate on her head. The brunette went down, but saw Maria's next move, which was a stomp. In a flash she had her hands around her left ankle. She then brought the blonde down and her in a headlock in a second.

Meanwhile, Mary stared, awed, while the fight unfolded. Maria struggled, but Eileen was ready for the finishing move; she grasped a handful of Maria's hair. "Time… _to pay_!" she yelled, and the victim shrieked.

It just so happened they were in front of the men's restroom, so when Child Walter walked out, without his underwear on his head and the toilet flushing behind him, Mary sped over to him and covered his eyes.

"Damn… _Damn you_!" screamed Maria as she knocked Eileen off. She then took hold of a decorative sword on the wall. Before she unsheathed it, however, she glanced at a part of the metal at the base of the blade. There was a message:

_There was SOMETHING SUPPOSED TO BE WRITTEN HERE, but it's gone now. - For my brother, Hank._

"What the… hell…?" was all Maria could say, as Eileen suddenly swiped at her with her own sword. They instantly locked blades, but Eileen had a different idea as she flipped her left hand up and prepared to dive for what seemed like Maria's right eye… she poked her instead.

"Piece of…" Maria trailed off as she cussed under her breath. The other woman ground her teeth and attempted to strike once more, but the blonde wasn't so keen with that, so she backed away, a white light beginning to form around her… and Mary and Child Walter.

"You may have won this time, but next time you won't be so lucky!" spat Maria. Mary noticed the radius of the light, and quickly pushed Child Walter out of it before the two vanished in a bright flash of blue light.

"Get back here!" cried Eileen, but there was no response.

**Now, back to Lower Neck and Henry-boy…**

Henry rushed into the main area of the restaurant, and gasped. Lower Neck(Joseph) remained quiet while James was knocked into the wall.

"It's one of those pyramid guys!" Henry said, readying his Steel Pipe. Joseph nodded, seeing Frank. 'No…'

Pyramid Head rotated the Great Knife impatiently in his hand. "Ah, Henry Townshend… Our Lord has shown great interest in you…"

"What?"

"It seems… as though he killed him…" Joseph stated, nodding towards Frank's body. Henry looked at where he motioned towards. "Frank! You, you killed him! You killed Frank! You bastard!"

"Perhaps, but it is no longer an issue. You and James… Pathetic fools. Can't you see? You're on the losing side; we are the conquerors!"

Henry scowled. "We'll see about that!" Suddenly, however, two chopsticks flew towards him, colliding with his cheek and chest. "What the hell?" He looked down at the wooden objects. "_Chopsticks_?"

Pyramid Head advanced backward, glancing from the now recovering James to Joseph. "Hmm… It seems my mission here is over, until the next time we meet…"

"No… _Wait_!" James shouted. The demon was gone in an instant, though, and that was that.

He cursed and turned back to Joseph and Henry. "You guys…"

"Well, well, well, what is this entire ruckus about?"

The three turned to see a man, a little older than Henry, wearing an extremely clean suit and tie. His dark brown was neatly groomed, and he had shiny, leather shoes. You'd think he was a mobster… which he was. Several men were behind him, dressed pretty much the same.

"Who are _you_?" questioned Henry.

The man cocked an eyebrow. "You dare speak to me in such a manner? Mario, do it."

"Yes sir," replied a shorter, mousy boy beside him who took out a pistol, cocked it, and aimed it at Henry's crotch.

"Hey, wait…!" he pleaded, but someone else stepped in.

"Put the gun down."

Eileen was glaring at them, and the man only smirked. "Hmm… A beautiful maiden-defending a peasant?"

"Peasant? What gives you the right to call him that?" asked Joseph, but this caused the rest of the men to bring up their own pistols… which made Joseph and James take out there own guns.

The main man sighed. "Interesting… well, young woman, can we shoot his reproduction organs off?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Well… various reasons."

"Care to share?"

"No."

"I see… Well then-," A phone suddenly rang, and he reached into his breast pocket, bringing out a black cell phone. "Hello?"

A few moments passed before his eyes widened. "Metal Gear's been _what_?"


	12. Episode XII

_**I don't own Resident Evil either, guys.**_

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XII**

**Back at the Lord's mysterious hideout…**

'Damn! I can't get a hit in!' thought Heather as she blocked a relentless barrage of slashes from Claudia with her katana. Her adversary shook her head disappointedly.

"Alessa, please… Don't resist," she said while swiping at the teenager, who ducked and rolled away before standing and attacking from behind.

"Why don't you tell me what the hell's going on instead!" exclaimed Heather as Claudia deflected the blow and attempted a stab, to which Heather moved to the side to avoid. The priestess then lunged forward once more, aiming directly at the blonde's throat.

Heather crouched down into the snow and knocked the sword away. She ground her teeth and made a stab of her own. Claudia predicted this and twirled around to Heather's back. She wasted no time in raising her weapon…

"Now, what have we here?"

Claudia immediately stopped at the sound of the voice, and quickly bowed as Valtiel walked up to them. His boyish appearance would've caused anyone to mistake him for a regular human. It was the perfect disguise, but those ruby pupils showed the truth behind the façade. If one saw his _true_ form they'd be pushed to the edge of their sanity.

"Unless I'm mistaken, Claudia," he said coolly, "you were about to end the Holy Mother."

"She and the detective escaped; I was only trying to halt their-,"

"Maybe so, but keep in mind that she is necessary for the Final Judgment."

"Yes…"

"There is no need to be so critical, Valtiel."

"Sire…!"

The Lord stepped out from the shadows, his cloak and hood still donned. Valtiel's aura of superiority vanished instantly. "But sire, it is at this time that we _must_ be critical! You have been extremely lenient with them for the past few days, much unlike your usual self, and I do not approve!"

The demon bowed upon realizing what he said. "Ah, excuse me, sire. I do not mean to question your judgment."

The Lord shook his head. "There is no need for that, Valtiel. I understand your position; in any case, did you gather her?"

"Yes, I did; I have them both."

"Summon them."

"As you wish…"

A sphere of light formed in the air, and then exploded, leaving Maria and Pyramid Head in its wake. Her hair was a bit frayed, and she seemed rather furious… Pyramid Head, however, was quiet, his head lowered. And, surprisingly enough, Mary Sunderland was behind them, looking shocked.

"Hmm… Mary Sunderland, what a pleasant surprise…" said the Lord. He turned to Claudia. "Have your subordinate come and escort both her and Alessa to their resting places, please."

She gave a silent bow and quickly motioned her hand through the air, and Don suddenly appeared in the room, drool slipping out of his mouth. "Wha…?"

"Don, could you take those two away?" asked Claudia, but he shot a nasty look at Heather. "I'm not dealing with _her_! _She sexually harassed me_!"

"Now, now, don't be foolish, Don," spoke the Lord, placing an assuring hand on his shoulder. I shall make sure she harms you no more."

He snorted, but shrugged. "Fine, fine… come on, we have to pick up Doug on the way," he said and took them by the arms and towards the door, even though Mary still couldn't find the right words to say.

When they were gone, the Lord sighed and approached Maria and Pyramid Head. "Oh, _what now_?" demanded Maria as he folded his arms.

"I have allowed you… _Maria_… quite a few liberties in your, shall I say, _short_ existence. Despite this, you have not seemed very grateful; I have granted you life, _again_, and yet you still insist to disobey me…" He caressed her cheek with the back of his gloved hand, and he leaned closer, the pink fur somewhat visible under his hood. "I can easily alter you into something… much less comfortable… quite possibly a block of tofu, maybe an arm… A cardboard box… anything…"

Her expression became disgusted, and she let out a deep breath. "Uh, okay… I won't, mess around anymore."

"Good… you may go now, all of you," he said, but turned to Pyramid Head. "…but not you. I have something I still need to discuss with you."

The others all left, their footsteps apparent in the snow. Pyramid Head didn't speak as the Lord neared him. "You have served me well in the past, second only to Valtiel… yet I am afraid your loyalty is wavering as of late."

"…Why would you think this, sire?" the other inquired innocently.

"Don't play stupid," warned the Lord in all serious now. "You have shown me small tidbits of disloyalty, things of betrayal… However, I will not punish you on only assumptions. Listen, my friend, your comrade was slain by Walter Sullivan, and I know about your connection to James Sunderland. I was aware of this before, when I sent you to face James three years ago."

The demon backed away, surprised. "You… _knew_?"

"Oh yes, but I feared that, if you knew, you would be hesitant in encountering him. However, my fears were quelled with the events that occurred at Dunky-Dunks."

Pyramid Head shook his head. "Let me assure you, sire, that you have no need to worry. If I ever face James again, I will not hesitate to eliminate him."

The Lord nodded. "I sincerely hope you are right, for your sake. You are dismissed." Pyramid Head wasted no time in exiting the chamber, but another entity entered from the shadows.

"So then… what is to happen now? With Lisa Garland's actions at present one cannot be too careful," Dog said.

The Lord chuckled. "I have everything under control. I resurrected Lisa for a reason, and she is fulfilling her purpose… I intend to meet with them quite soon, actually."

"Really?" He sounded intrigued. "I myself would like to see the extent of their abilities…"

---

Harry, Walter, Vincent, and Fabio stared up into the night sky as Metal Gear flew off. Most of the guards and scientists were in disbelief, but a shout brought them all out of their daze.

"What _is _going on here? I do _not_ like being disturbed when _'Rainbow Monkey Rangers' are on_!" yelled Miss Maxwell as she walked into the room. Her two bodyguards were beside her, dressed in weird little, purple spandexes.

Harry started towards her, but in a flash all the guards had their guns aimed straight at the small group. "This is certainly not good…" muttered Vincent as she stopped before them.

"Well, well, well, so the little hamsters have escaped their cages… interesting…" She squeezed Harry's cheek. "But I was sure there was another lass among you… Where is she now?"

"If you're referring to Lisa, she made off with that machine of yours… Metal-something, I think it was called."

Her face went to stone. "Metal… _Metal Gear is gone_!" she said while spinning around to see the humongous hole in the roof and the absence of the great machine. "No… No, no, no, no, no, no, no, _no_!" She shook her head frantically. "Oh man... Smankhee's going to kill me once he finds out Metal Gear's been stolen! It was his pride and joy!"

"Smankhee...?" said Vincent in disbelief. "You can't mean..."

"_Yes_!" Miss Maxwell shouted. "One of the wealthiest and most powerful kingpins in our society! He helped fund the construction of this place, I owe him my _life_! And this is how I repay him!" she shrieked while hyperventilating.

"...Why did he have you... keep it?" Harry asked cooly.

"Oh, well, you see, I'm, err, his _cousin_..." she whispered. She quickly stopped her quirky dance and glared at Harry and company. "Wait a minute now... This isn't _my_ fault, it's _your_ fault! You're responsible for this mess!"

"But we had no idea of Lisa's intentions," Harry retorted. "You can't just blame this on us."

"Oh, but I can! And, as you are the ones who are responsible, you're the ones who will clean this mess _up_!" She spun around to face her servants. "_Everyone_, it is crunch time! _Prepare the Stonger McGonger_! It's time to get Metal Gear back!"

"_Stonger McGonger_?" blurted Fabio. "What's that?"

"Just wait and see..." replied Miss Maxwell as everyone began scurrying around. Some controls were activated, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Suddenly, something that had been underneath Metal Gear began to rise. The fortress shook more than ever before as an enormous, robotic, humanoid cyborg thing rose up.

"Hey, it's Ultraman!" Walter squealed with delight before he ran up the machine. "They let us see it at Wish House when we behaved!"

"Hey... you're right," said Vincent, "but wasn't it that one thing from 'Godzilla Versus Gigan'?"

"No, it was Ultraman."

"No, Ultraman was a few years later."

"No, it-,"

"Okay, okay, enough!" screamed Miss Maxwell. "Look, you four have to pilot that and stop Metal Gear! It's my only hope!"

Fabio hopped up. "Like in the old Godzilla movies?"

"Yes, but without the Japanese people," stated Harry as he approached the robot. He looked up at it curiously. "How do you expect us to know how to use it?"

"It's like making a sandwich... _now go_!"

The cockpit, which was located appropriately on the robot's groin, opened up. A rising staircase appeared, and several guards forced Harry and the others up into it. Miss Maxwell waved at them enthusiastically. "Don't worry! I'm gonna tell Smankhee, so don't destroy Metal Gear _completely_!"

**Ignoring that and going to a random place over the ocean, we see a jet, heading for Silent Hill...**

"...stuck checking out some stupid, abandoned tourist town!" exclaimed Leon S. Kennedy into his cellphone. He took a small sip of his tea and looked out of the window and over the ocean. "No..." he replied into the phone. "But I think I deserve a break... or, if I'm going to be assigned a mission, maybe a mission with some more significance, you know?"

He didn't get a response, as his phone was suddenly shot out of his hand. "_What_?" Next was his teacup, and it splashed all over his jacket.

"Ah, _slut_! _My jacket_!" He spun around to try and find his attacker, only to see the pilot of the helicopter, holding out his rifle with only about a foot separating them.

"I can't let you get to that town, Mr. Kennedy. You'll disrupt our plans."

"What are you talking about? Put the gun down."

The pilot swung his right arm in the air, moving back the sleeve to reveal the 'Halo of the Sun' on his forearm. "You won't get in our Lord's way! I've heard of your reputation, and, as such, I consider you a threat."

Leon backed away, a small smirk on his face. "So this was a trap all along. What happened to the real pilot?"

"Overdosed on chocolate muffins in a bathroom stall somewhere," answered the pilot emotionlessly. He readied the firearm. "Now, time-,"

"So what's your name?"

"What?"

"Your name."

"Oh, well, it's Sam."

"Well, Sam, who's piloting the jet?"

"Nobody." They just stared at each other for a moment. "Crap!" Sam muttered as Leon rolled under the gun, stole it away, and bashed his attacker in the head with it. He then threw it to the side and ran to the cockpit. He cursed while taking a seat, looking over all the controls.

'Damn, damn, damn, _damn_! We never went over how to pilot a jet in training! _Why_ didn't we go over how to pilot a jet? _Why_?' he rambled on his head, while Sam was busy crawling over to him. The assailant pulled Leon from the chair and to the floor, before trying to attack him with the rifle. Leon rolled to the side and punched Sam right on the noise. There was a sick, cracking noise as blood splaterred all over Sam's face.

"_That hurt_!" screamed the cultist. Leon grasped the collar of his jacket and brought him over to the door of the jet, which he opened up. Holding on to the side of the doorway, he held Sam in the air.

"Any last words before you, you know, go bye-bye?"

"...Yeah... Vote for... Pedro..."

The government agent growled and flung Sam into the air. "_I hated that movie_!" he shouted, pulling back and closing the sliding door. With a relieved sigh, Leon placed his hands on his hips. "Now that that's done and over with, time to get this plane back on track!" However, the whole thing suddenly shook with fury. He tumbled to the front, and looked up, to see the jet heading straight for some city, and, strangely, he saw two, humongous things fighting.

"Uh... this is going to hurt."

---

"So some spazzy chick stole Metal Gear!" Smankhee roared with anger within the ruined Dunky-Dunks. His minions were all distracted from the presence of Henry, James, and the others.

"Guys, come on!" said Henry quickly as he took Eileen and James by the arms and dashed out of there. Laura and Child Walter were straggling behind them. The rain was pouring down now, thunder booming and lightning striking. Henry sighed, glancing around. "Hey, wait a minute, where's Jo-... I mean Lower Neck?" thought Henry aloud as he looked at Eileen, who had a red Post-It note on her forehead.

"Eileen, you have another note on your head!"

"I do?" she asked stupidly, giggling as he ripped it off to read its contents.

_Henry... the time of reckoning is soon to come... You must be ready... And don't try to find me... for I shall find you... Oh yes I will..._

_Lower Neck(JS)_

'Creepy...'

"What's that?" questioned little Walter as he pointed at the note. Henry tucked it away in his pants.

"Nothing. And you can't get it now, anyway," responded the man with a sneer.

"...But I can..." came Eileen creepily with a maniacal laugh. Then she glomped Henry. James watched them with an odd expression that read, 'What teh heck?'. He then leaned against the side of the building kind of angsty-like.

'Dad... is it true...? I... God, I don't know...'

"Mary! _Mary_! Mary, where are you?" screamed Laura. The young girl was running all over the place, and James approached her cautiously. She could be rather dangerous when riled up.

"Laura, what are you talking about?" he inquired, unknowing of Mary's absence. The girl looked at him teary-eyed.

"_You stupid-head_! You were supposed to make sure she was okay! Now she's gone!" she hollered at him before running off, screaming Mary's name.

"_Laura_! Wait, Laura!" he cried, turning to the others. "Come on, stop what you're doing and help me find Laura!"

Eileen looked up at him and got off of Henry, who stood up and dusted himself off. "Gee, Eileen, what's up with you?... Although maybe you could do that again later..." She giggled dumbly once more while Henry scratched his head.

"What? You mean the little girl?"

"_Yes_! Come on! She might've found Mary too!"

So then all four of them ran after the child, following her screams until they suddenly stopped. The group was then left underneath a firescape for some building, with nothing more to lead them. "I think she went up here..."

"A little girl?"

"Just come on!"

**And so they climbed...**

"Robbie the Rabbit's stupid," said Laura as she dropped the fluffy doll, wet from the rain. The cloaked man kneeling down before her chuckled and held the doll up to examine it.

"...My daughter held the same contempt for the character as well. In fact, this is the same doll I had acquired on my first visit to town, all those years ago... I, however, see no problem with it."

"Laura!" exclaimed James, "Laura, get away from that man!" He stopped short in nearing them, though, upon seeing Laura glare at him.

"Shut up! You don't know anything!" she responded angrily. The man shook his head though.

"Now, now, that is no way to speak to your father."

"_Father_?" she spat. "I don't want him as my dad! He's a stupid-head! He... He let Mary get hurt!"

"Laura..." murmured James with a sudden pang of guilt in his chest. Henry patted him on the back.

"Hey, no worries, man. Cheer up, you're all tense." James just stared at him. "Okaaaaay... Fine, I'm not going to help you."

The cloaked person cleared his throat and folded his arms. "Ah, Henry Townsend. Perfect. Now that we're all here, I believe it is time that I introduce myself..." He held out his arms, the rain increasing in fury. "I am the Lord, creator of the second existence. I have been looking forward to our meeting."

"The Lord?" demanded Henry. "So you're the one responsible for all this mess! You're the one Lower Neck was talking about!" He fished around in his pocket and brought out his Steel Pipe. James did the same thing, if only by reflex.

"Ah, yes, 'Lower Neck'. I am indeed glad he still continues to relay information to you, but the '21 Sacraments' has failed. He is not necessary, but I prefer him to be here, nonetheless. Still, though, you, as well as James... you both are quite extraordinary. You both proved yourself very fitting for being the greatest hindrances in my plan. You, Henry, survived Walter Sullivan's attacks, and James defeated Silent Hill. Of course, I had meant for you two to have died, but, alas, not all can be as you wish."

"Just hold on a minute," said James. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" The Lord laughed coldly. "You two were threats. I had intended, since your birth, for both of you to be eliminated. It is not simple orchestrating the events of decades just for the right fates of two people. Yet you evaded even my plots, so I presumed I had no choice but to take matters into my own hands. If Sullivan, Maria, and the two executioners could not fulfill their duties, then I would have to quicken the pace of my plans. Even Losbel Vith and Xuchilpaba told me of your abilities, so I have come to see just how talented you truly are."

James looked to Laura. "Wait... are you saying that you... _created_ Maria? And what about the Pyramid Heads?"

"Correct. I created Maria in your wife's likeness. The other two, however, are slain followers who I altered."

"But what about Eddie, and Angela? Did you create them too?"

"No. I lured them to the town to help in my plot. However..." He nodded to Laura, who was strangely quiet. "..._she_ was, perhaps, my most splendid creation."

Laura backed away from him then. "What are ya talking about?"

James ground his teeth. "_Laura_...? So... you knew all along what you were doing... behind-the-scenes... you toyed with my wife's feelings, just to be able to get to me..."

The Lord nodded. "Indeed. It was necessary. But aren't you grateful? Laura provided Mary with happiness. The happiness _you were unable to give_."

And that was all it took for James to explode. He rushed at the Lord, preparing to strike him down, only to be swatted away with a mere wave of the hand. He landed on his back a few yards away, writhing in pain. "Don't worry, James, I'm coming!" yelled the still-high-Henry... except he tripped.

The Lord approached them calmly, humming something. "I am unimpressed. It had to have taken more than this to have defeated my subordinates. And steel pipes..." He kicked the weapons away as James slowly stood up, taking out his pistol. He fired off several shots, but with another simple motion of the hand, the bullets fell from the air and to the rooftop.

"Just... _what are you_?" demanded James as he glared at his most recent oponent. Before the Lord could answer, though, something massive crashed into the city. The powerful entity chuckled. "Well, it seems Lisa has arrived to play her part in the story. Good."

Henry spat out some blood as he got to his feet. "Just wait one damn moment! This is isn't over!"

Everyone turned to see him remove three folded up _DDR_ mats from his pocket. "Play time's over."


	13. Episode XIII

**Silent Hill: The One With a Crappy Plotline; Episode XIII**

"So, um, this is weird," Fabio said as he and the others looked around in the rather cramped cockpit of the Stonger McGonger. Vincent rotated one of the leather chairs, which had numerous holes and such. Walter was spinning around, giddy like a child, in the chair opposite.

"Isn't this so awesome, guys?" he asked with pure excitement. He really was acting like a child.

"No, it is absolutely odorous in here," came Vincent's reply.

"Hey, I didn't ask for your opinion."

"Yet you did."

"_No_."

"Look-,"

"Quiet! Listen..." said Harry, an intercom sounding above them.

"...iz these sheet on...? Okeh, I soopose... Can joo here meh?"

"...Ja..." answered Fabio, earning him several strange looks from the others.

"Ah! Gud, gud! Okeh, okeh... Leesten my deer frinds, leesten... There are fur cuntroll seets in the Ztonger MkGunger, une fur eech of joo. Und joo cuntrul eech seet with unly thee analug steek und thee too buttuns. Joo shall be launching un teen secunds. Un... Too... Three... Fur... Five..."

"...Okay, everyone get in your seats!" Harry ordered. "They'll most likely be activating this thing once our time is up." Hearing this, Vincent and Fabio scrambled into their seats while Walter remained in his spot, absolutely enthralled by the entire experience. Harry calmly dropped into the seat below Walter's, an unreadable expression upon his face.

"_TIN_!" screamed whoever-the-fudge-the-guy-was as the Stonger McGonger launched. It rocked extremely violently, and Fabio was shot from his seat because he hadn't put his seatbelt on.

**...Whatever. Now to the diabolical Lisa Garland...**

Lisa sipped her hot, fresh, cappucino, licking her lips as Metal Gear Rex 2.0 soared through the night air. With a crazed chuckle she leaned back in the chair. "This is perfect... there's even a huge refrigerator in the back! I have to say, stealing this baby was the best decision of my life... right there next to when I sold my Mercedes for that eggroll... That's what I get for going to those cheesecake conventions..."

She had been flying for about half an hour now, and something showed up on the rearview mirror. It was small and first, but gradually grew in size. She stared at it, grimacing. "...What now?" Lisa muttered as the Stonger McGonger caught up to the Metal Gear.

"Lisa!" came a voice from the other machine, amplified by some speakers or whatever. "Stop this, get out if Metal Gear! If you don't we'll take you out by force!" It was Harry.

"Oh, Harry," she said with an amused sigh. "...take me out by force, will you?" Using the controls she flipped Metal Gear Rex 2.0 around and began to fire plasma bullets from its shoulder-mounted cannon. From within the Stonger McGonger, Fabio squealed.

"Get the shields ready!" yelled Harry as he ground his teeth. "We're bringing her down."

"To Chinatown?" asked Walter.

"No, just down," confirmed the novelist, and Walter and Vincent activated the shields so that they maxed out at 100 output. Vincent spat out a bogey and adjusted his glasses.

"With the way she's firing, the shields will be totally destroyed in the next minute," he stated.

"...That's all we'll need," replied Harry as he pushed the boosters to their limit.

Lisa clenched her fists. "Imbeciles! Metal Gear is far superior to that... heap of trash! What do they hope to accomplish?" She increased the ferocity of the blasts, but it was too late, as the Stonger McGonger rammed into Metal Gear and slammed it into the city below...

**Meanwhile, with Leon S. Kennedy...**

Leon stared down at the wreckage of the jet while he floated down using his emergency parachute. He smirked badassedly. "...I guess emergency parachutes _are_ useful..." But suddenly, the parachute popped, and he fell into the wreckage below... which was basically Dunky-Dunks restaurant. He hit the floor hard, landing in the lobby, and he slowly got up, robbing the sore spot on his head, when he saw a group of mobsters in suits staring right at him.

Smankhee grinned evily as he put his cellphone. "Agent Kennedy... what a surprise," he said in his most fake Russian accent. Leon backed away in shock.

"_Smankhee_? I thought you were dead!"

"Apparently not..." said the mobster as he eyed each of his underlings. "...but now that you're here, I won't miss this oppurtunity for revenge!"

Leon held his hands up in defense. "Wait! I was just doing my job! I get paid to bust illegal drug rings!"

"Of course you do, but still." Smankhee and his team brought their guns up and shot at Leon, who ducked behind an overturned table. "Can't we talk this over?" he pleaded, running towards the exit. 'Guess not.' He took out his own pistol, slid on his belly toward the door, and fired several shots at the mafia members before getting out of there.

---

"What... are those?" asked James as Henry threw the mats to the floor. They landed perfectly, one in front of each of them. The Lord folded his arms, bemused.

"...If we can't defeat him normally... we'll have to beat him... _DDRly_!"

Eileen laughed stupidly. "Go Henry! Woo!"

James scratched his head. "DDR?"

"Yeah," Henry replied as he hooked up his PlayStation 2 to a mini-television; he'd been carrything both in his pocket. He quickly covered them all from the rain using a plastic cover, and then stood up. "Let's see just how good you are, _Lord_! I practice everyday, twenty-five hours each! I doubt you could beat me, and with James's help, _you're going down_!"

"_My help_?" James stammered. "_I've never even played this before_!" Meanwhile, Eileen had her and Child Walter some pom-poms, and they were waving them around idiotically.

"Alright then," said the Lord as Henry turned the PS2 on. "Time to... _get it on_!" the brunet screamed while choosing the options.

"We're going with _Extra Heavy_ on one of the hardest songs, okey-doke?" he asked James.

"Wha...?"

"I can hear your plannings, by the way."

"Go team go! Go team go! Goo_ooo_... _TEAM HENRY AND JAMES_!"

"What's going on?"

"...I feel my bladder turing on..."

Suddenly, the song went on, and Henry instantly went into DDR-Mode, moving at breakneck speeds. The Lord was matching him with ease, not even looking down to check his footing. James nearly tripped over himself. The 21st Sacrament ground his teeth, sweat pouring down his face after only five minutes. Basically, this is how his results were:

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Good!_

_Great!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Great!_

_Good!_

_Good!_

_Boo!_

_Great!_

_Perfect!_

James's were like this:

_Poor!_

_Boo!_

_Boo!_

_Boo!_

_Poor!_

_Dang, you suck!_

And the Lord's:

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_OMG HOW THE BLEEP DID HE DO THAT?_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

_THE PS2'S BREAKING!_

_Perfect!_

_Perfect!_

The song ended, and Henry collapsed, submerged in fatigue. James just stood there, rather confused. The brunet got up shakily, his shirt sporting numerous cuts and he had a splotch of blood on his face.The Lord shook his head, casting the PS2 aside with his powers. "Insolent fools... Now do you see the futility of your actions? You will never manage to defeat me, at least not with the way you are going now."

"What?" Henry demanded as Eileen rushed over to help him up. "Isn't it obvious?" the Lord questioned, approaching them. "My forces and I have infinite power at our disposal, while you mortals... have absolutely nothing of use against us. So, I propose that you two join us. You could be spared, and at the same time be granted a great deal of power."

"_Join you_?" James said increduously. "You're the reason why Dad... and even Mary... _died_."

"Incorrect. I have no control over human will, and you're wife's death was unfortunate, but I was the one who brought her back to you. All of those who died, I granted them life! Souls are such simple things really; quite prone to tampering."

"I..." James glanced at Laura, grounding his teeth. "I'd never join you! Not after what you've done!"

The Lord shook his head in disappointment, raising his hand. "...Such a pity. You would rather remain as you are, where you are, then ascend to a higher state? Well then, I suppose I truly have no choice but to eliminate you," he stated coldly, a bright, white sphere of light forming in his palm. It grew and grew, until it cast a menacing glow upon them all. Before he could incinerate them, however, Eileen gasped.

"Uh-oh, guys, look!" She pointed at the massive, green, more-advanced-looking-robot-thing as it began to fall, on the way of crushing them. Child Walter, Eileen, and Henry started to run, but James called out to the little girl.

"Laura! Laura, come on!" Despite his pleas, though, she stayed by the Lord's side, glaring at him. "Laura..."

"Hey, James, let's go!" said Henry as he grasped his arm and sped out of there, following Eileen. The Lord merely took Laura's hand and leaped over to another rooftop as Metal Gear crushed the previous building.

"...You don't mind waiting a little, do you, Laura?" asked the Lord quietly. She shook her head and he nodded, before jumping down to the machine and heading for the cockpit...

---

"Dang..." muttered Eileen, tapping her chin. "Why do you think two big robots were fighting anyway?"

"Who the hell knows?" thought Henry aloud as Child Water walked back to them, zipping up his pants.

"Uh... I had to pee."

James sighed drearily and plopped himself on a cardboard box in the alleyway. "...How I could mess up like that...? Dad's gone, Mary's I don't know where, and now Laura's went off with our enemy... Dammit, what are we going to do?"

"Well, if you ask me," said Henry, "I think we should go and kick some demonic ass!" He sat down beside James, patting him on the back. "Come on James, we can do it!"

"Oh?" The clerk gave a hollow laugh. "Where are we supposed to look for them? And besides, you saw what he could do Henry, and I think it's pretty clear that they outmatch us in any way; we can't win this. I mean, face it, it's over." Henry waved his finger around, clasping his hands on Jame's shoulders.

"But we have _friends_, James! Together, we can overcome anything, if we set our minds to it!"

"Huh, and what friends are those, Henry?"

The photographer's eyes darted around. "...I don't know, but when I think of some I'll tell you." James sighed once more and walked a little ways away, crossing his arms. "Come on, James, don't go EMO on me! _Not now_! No, don't go out on me!" Henry collapsed to the ground in phony tears as someone else approached them.

"EMO? Where?"

Eileen gasped, and Child Walter picked some mucus from his nose as Leon looked over them. "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh!" exclaimed Eileen, small hearts appearing in her eyes. "He's so hot! _Omigosh_!"

Leon chuckled, flashing a smile with his hair falling across his face. "Thank you, thank you, but now is not the time."

"Damn right it's not!" said Henry as he shooed Eileen to the side, jealousy apparent. "Who are you?"

"Oh, well I'm Leon S. Kennedy, agent of the United States government," he replied, reaching for his card within his jacket. "Hmm, shnizzle, I can't seem to find my card."

"It's okay," remarked Henry as Leon looked back to him. "So, _Leon_," began the brunet, wincing at the name, "what are you doing here?"

"It's a bit of a long story, but I was wondering if anyone has a car?"

"...No," answered James, turning to the street. "But I could get one."

"Really? How?"

"Like this..." James ran into the street, causing a car to skid to the side, barely avoiding him. As the driver walked out to cuss him out, James knocked him out with a solid punch and threw him down. "Okay, let's go!"

"Woo!" Henry ran up and congratulated him. "Good job, James!" Leon snorted. "I would arrest you, since this is car theft, but, I'll make an exception," commented the agent; Eileen fluttered lovingly.

James cleared his throat. "Alright then, let's kick some demonic ass, guys!"

"What are you talking about?" Leon inquired but he shrugged. "Can we pick up some food, though? I'm starved."

"Yeah, me too!" chirped Eileen, and Child Walter nodded.

"Uh, fine."

**Boom, chakalakalaka, boom, chakalakalaka...**

"This really bites," complained Douglas as he and Heather were forced into the cell by Don, who spat on them.

"And don't try anything funny," he warned, walking off. "You're not getting any dinner, now!" The both sighed, looking to the other occupants in the room.

"Hi, I'm Cynthia."

"And I'm J-J-Jasper..."

"Hi, I'm Heather."

"Douglas Cartland. Nice to meet you."


	14. Episode XIV

**Silent Hill: The One With a Crappy Plotline; Episode XIV**

"Bloody Hell," said Vincent, pushing his glasses up. Fabio squealed, "Did we win?" Harry nodded, standing.

"Yeah, even though it was rather anti-climactic." He turned to them. "Come on, we have to see if Lisa's all right!" Vincent, with a flabbergasted look, grasped the novelist by the arm.

"Surely you're kidding me. The woman tried to kill us! No doubt that, if she _did_ survive, she'll have another crack at it."

"Even so, we're not that heartless."

Walter and Fabio glanced at each other, the latter fluffing up his red hair.

They then left the Stonger McGonger, much to Vincent's dismay, and waddled over to the deactivated Metal Gear Rex Version 2.0. Rubble surrounded and dotted it, and Harry began approaching it when a person cloaked in black landed before them. The hooded man turned to them. "...What do we have here? Some little rats, I suppose."

Harry narrowed his brow. "Who are _you_?"

"Ah, my name bears no significance. But I am very much aware of who _you_ are, Mr. Mason. Unfortunately, I have little time for small talk, and I will be forced to retaliate should you interfere."

Harry ground his teeth. "Interfere? Does this involve Lisa?"

"Yes, but it does not concern you. Ah-Sullivan you are here as well." Upon hearing his name Walter pointed at himself.

"Me? What-,"

"You are very tenacious. I have allowed you to live for much too long. The rest of you will most likely be a nuisance." The Lord chuckled, and with a simple motion of his hand, the street was split in two, separating the group-Fabio and Walter on one side, Harry and Vincent on the other. "Already you have interfered in my plan, and I have taken enough risks. So, I must bid _adieu_... forever." Without warning he fired a gigantic blast of white energy at them. Walter dashed to the side, as did Harry, leaving Vincent and Fabio to be caught by the powerful attack. In its wake was left a ruptured street, filled with dirt, fire, and shambled buildings and streetlights. Walter and Harry got up from the dirt, covered with it.

The Lord cocked his head to the side, bemused. "So you escaped _that _assault. Perhaps I underestimated you... just slightly."

"Vincent! Fabio!" Harry called, looking around the destruction. He eyed the Lord hatefully. "Where are they?"

He laughed. "Your allies could not act as fast as you did. Therefore, they were incinerated."

"How could you be so cruel?" he spat, filled with rage. "They did nothing to you!"

The Lord shrugged, his tone growing cooler. "Even so, it is I that decides who lives and who dies. If I willed it, this whole planet could be turned to atoms in an instant."

"Who do you think you are, then?" Harry demanded, "_God_?"

"Oh no, but perhaps I should when concerning you..."

"_What_?" Harry shouted, each and every bone in his left leg exploding into dust. He screamed, the Lord already standing before him.

"Don't look so surprised," he said. "I created you, but you are still nothing more than a pitiful copy..." He held out his palm. It filled with light.

"_Harry_!" Walter shouted, sprinting out to help him. However, with nothing but a glance, he was flung away by the Lord into the sky. The novelist remained there, clutching his ruined leg as the cloaked mastermind stared at him, his palm lit up extravagantly by the light.

"Farewell, dirty copy." And then he obliterated Harry.

---

James drove the car up into the Drive-Thru of the nearest Happy Burger. He rolled down the window to relay the various orders to the loudspeaker. Henry was sitting with his arms crossed in the passenger seat, with Leon, Child Walter, and Eileen in the back seat. "...and that's how I saved Billy from the banana," said Leon, completing another of his amazing reaccounts of one of his missions. Eileen and Child Walter were breathless; Henry merely grunted.

"What was Billy doing with a poisoned banana anyway?" he asked.

"Beats me," Leon replied. Eileen sighed lovingly.

"I thought it was a _magnificen_t story, Leon," said Eileen with a smile. Henry rolled his eyes. _Leon_.

"Oh, well, what can I say?" said the agent, when his cellphone rang. He took out the Razor and answered it. "Leon S. Kennedy. Oh-hey Claire. We're still up for that dinner with your brother right? Don't tell me Jill's going... Ah, good."

Then Eileen's phone rang, and she answered it as well. "Hey Ashley!" she squealed upon hearing her friend. "...Hmm? I'm just chilling with Henry and Leon? His last name? Oh, it's Kennedy. _You know him_? Omigosh!"

She tapped Leon on the shoulder as he put his phone away. "What?"

"Ashley wants to speak to you."

"Uh, okay." He took the phone and said, "Hello?"

"_Leon_!" came the squeal, and everyone could hear it as James drove to the Pick-Up window. He took the three bags of food and gave them to each person. Henry removed an onion ring and nibbled on it.

"Who was that, Eileen?"

"Ashley Graham."

He nodded and kept on eating before spewing it out over the dashboard. "The president's daughter? She's your friend?"

"Yep."

James took a sip of his Dr. Pepper, driving off. Leon handed the phone back to Eileen. "I'm just as surprised as you are... um..."

"Henry," said the brunet annoyedly.

"Ah, yes, _Henry_," said Leon while munching on some fries. Eileen took a rather large bite from her Double-Meat-Barbeque-Mushroom-Burger. Child Walter felt the urge to pee again. Everything was as it should be. For the moment, because James suddenly pressed on the brakes. The food went forward, Child Walter couldn't hold it, and Leon stained his jacket. Everything was not as it should be while James got out and ran over to the man lying face-down in the street. The others went after him, and Henry knelt down beside the man.

"Walter! Hey, man, you okay?"

The coatless blond stirred, and once he saw Henry, he scurried away in fright. "Hey, wait!" said Henry, and Walter just stared at him increduously.

"You mean... you're not going to try and kill me?"

"No, man, we're cool. Why would I ever try and kill you?"

"Uh..." Walter scratched his head, shrugging. "Dunno." Henry eyed Walter quizzically.

"Where's your coat?" he questioned. Walter looked over himself, cursing under his breath.

"That bloody old man! Curse him, for all that he's worth!" He looked to the rest of them, sighing. "I see you've got a nice little group here. I miss anything?"

"You're welcome to join us, Wally," stated Eileen happily. She _almost_ glomped him, but it took all the restraint in the world not to. Henry was about to say something, but Leon pushed him out of the way.

"Who is _this_?" he asked, a little curious about Walter's look; the guy's clothing was ripped up, he was covered in dust and dirt, and he had some blood on him. Henry groaned.

"This is a friend of ours, and it's none of your business." Hearing this, Leon giggled confidently.

"Did I _ask_ you if it was my business? I was only curious."

"Okay, listen here pretty-boy-,"

"_Pretty-boy_?" Leon laughed, sliding a hand through his hair. "No," he said, his expression becoming stony, "you listen. You're in no position to order me around. _I'm_ the badass here, you're not." They glared at each other for a few moments, Henry staring into Leon's eyes.

"Want to prove it?"

"Bring it on."

In a flash they had produced their knives--Henry with his paper-cutter and Leon with his combat one--and clashed. Spinning elegantly they matched blade against blade, ending in a draw, but James got between them. "Now's not the time for this, guys! We can't be fighting amongst each other!"

"Yeah," said Leon, backing away. The photagrapher gave him a nasty look, but nodded. Sirens sounded in the distance, a car rushed by. A spear was hurdled at them.

"_Sullivan_!" came a roar, Henry, James, and Leon avoiding the projectile as it crashed into the car. They all turned to see the second Pyramid Head standing some ways off, bathed in fury. He pointed a bloody finger in Walter's direction. "Time to die, you rat! You escaped last time because I was careless, but this time I'll be sure to tear you limb from limb!"

The blond smirked. "As persistent as ever I see; get killed twice and you still stand."

"Indeed." Just as the second Pyramid Head was going to rush him, however, Henry stepped in the way.

"Hey, I remember you!" he yelled, readying his Steel Pipe. "But didn't Walter kill you?"

"Imbecile! I am one of the Holy Executioners in service to our Lord! Thus, I am not one too be defeated so easily!" it screamed, before James stepped up.

"I should've known you'd be here too," he said, drawing his pipe as well. The second Pyramid Head growled.

"Sunderland!" it boomed. "Perfect! Now I can destroy you and fulfill my charge!" He produced another spear and flew at them, swinging his spear in a wide arch. Henry and James rolled under it and struck at him with their weapons, making contact. The demon thrusted repeatedly, but the two managed to dodge the attacks. "Stay still!" cried their adversary, with Leon watching a tad dumbfounded.

"Who's that?" he inquired.

"A demon," answered Walter.

"Oh."

Henry and James attacked the Executioner with all their power, but he just kept rising. With a cold laugh, it said, "See how futile your resistance is? You will die!" Henry chuckled.

"Sure," he remarked, strafing around. "but this ain't over yet!" He and James stabbed the Pyramid Head simultaneously, driving their pipes inward. The demon roared, dropping his spear, which Henry grabbed. "Walter!" he yelled, "Catch!" The blond moved forward and caught the weapon, running forward while jousting at the monstrous figure. The spear plowed into it, Walter ripping it out as quickly as it went in.

"Stay dead this time, will you?" he said, slamming the spear into the demon's head. The second Pyramid Head fell still, truly dead. Leon grinned and started applauding them.

"Good job guys," he commented, "although I probably could've done a cleaner job of it..."

Henry blew a few bangs out of his eyes. "_Right_. Anyways, don't you think we should've interrogated him first?"

"Nah," replied James. "Wouldn't have said anything anyway. Besides, there's only one place their base could be... _Silent Hill_." As he said this lightning struck down and, far off, in the Brazilian wilderness, a baby slapped its mother.

"Great idea!" said Eileen, but she tripped and fell on her head, laughing and laughing. "Omigosh, I'm so horny!" The others just stared at her as if she was high on pudding, which she was. Child Walter yawned. Leon snorted.

"Tell me then, how are we going to make it to Silent Hill?" he asked plainly. Henry scowled at him while stroking his chin.

"That's it!" he yelped. He grinned at each of them. "Come on guys, we need to go see a friend of mine."

**Bleh. I hate this job.**

"So, uh, what are you guys doing here?" asked Heather. Jasper shrugged, hugging his knees.

"I d-don't know, we k-k-kind of j-just w-w-w-woke up here after..." He looked at Cynthia, narrowing his brow in concentration. "D-Do you r-r-remember?"

"No," she replied, smiling. "But I'll tell you one thing, I would never have met you if whatever happened hadn't happened."

"Y-Yeah," said Jasper with an idiotic chuckle, and they then proceeded to rubbing their noses together. Douglas and Heather exchanged odd glances.

"Well, we have to get out of here," said the blonde, straightening out her skirt. "They got us last time, so..." She perked up. "Mary!" Turning around, she knocked on the wall a few times. "Hey, Mary, Mary! Are you there?" There was a short silence, and then a response.

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine... but... I think some insect is breeding next to me," she replied, and Heather tried to not think about it.

"Anyway, we have to get out of here, and we're going to need your help."

"Oh, alright, but how can I help? I'm practically useless..."

"Come on, don't say that. Listen, this is what we're going to do... I think..."


	15. Episode XV

**Silent Hill: The One With a Crappy Plotline; Episode XV**

"God, I'm so bloody bored!" Don was rolling on the floor, covered with chocolate. Claudia, who was nearby reading a book, cast him a dirty glance.

"Would you stop tainting yourself with that heinous substance!" she exclaimed, but Don only licked his pinkey.

"Sorry, Mistress Claudia, but there's _nothing else to do_!" He got up and pulled at his hair. "We're the evildoers! Our enemies are out there eating pudding and getting drunk and having a good time! Why can't we do all that stuff? What's the harm in having some shots of tequila?" Suddenly, a remote control bashed him in the head.

"Shut the hell up!" commanded Maria, who was lying on a leather couch watching a television suspended in the air by magic. She had her left arm behind her head, and she had thrown the remote at him. "Just be happy we have this badass retro-looking hideout, okay? And there's a whole stash of liquor in the cabinet behind the bar anyway." Don perked up, his eyes glowing.

"No shit?"

"No shit," she replied, picking up the remote and switching the channel. He dashed over to the bar at the back of the lounge and hurriedly ripped through the contents, finding several bottles of wine and waving them over his head triumphantly. "Hell yes! You can't stop me now!" he screamed, consuming one whole bottle in a single swig. Pyramid Head shook his disappointedly, flipping through the latest addition of _Ashfield Weekly._ An ad caught his eye.

_Protect the monsters! Prevent monster rape! Call 1-800-NO-PYRAMID_ _now!_

He ripped the piece of silky paper out and crushed it in his fist. Like they knew _anything_ about that! That was when Valtiel walked into the lounge, looking important as always.

"Everyone," he announced, "I have a guest. This is Lisa, say 'hello'." Beside him, the nurse, who was covered in ash, growled at them. Don waved gallantly at the two.

"_Hello_!" he practically yelled, jumping up and down like a fool. Valtiel cleared his throat.

"Yes, thank you for your enthusiasm, Don. _Now_, our kind Lord has decided to allow Lisa to stay here with us, as long as she assists us in our endeavors. She has obliged."

He flashed a fake smile at each of them, but Claudia set aside her book. "Miss Garland! It is I, Claudia Wolf."

The nurse nodded unsurely. "Oh yes, Claudia, I-,"

"Yes, well." Valtiel stepped away from them, his red eyes dark. "I must also report that our Lord and I have composed a plan to finally rid us of the nuisance James Sunderland and his comrades have presented." Maria and Pyramid Head fidgeted when he said this. "The time for our Paradise to become reality is nearing; as such, any potential thorns must be cut away. Thank you."

He turned away, his hands behind his back, and strode out of the lounge.

---

James sat limply in his seat, the subway car moving at a dull pace. Henry was beside him, resting his head on his fist and seemingly staring into space. Leon and Walter were across from them, and Eileen and Child Walter were not too far away. A hobo was located in the corner, asleep under his excretion-covered rags. The American agent blinked.

"So, we're heading to Silent Hill, eh?" He stifled a yawn. "That's good. Seems like I'll be able to complete my mission after all."

"Mission?" James asked. "What mission?"

"Oh, well I was supposed to head to Silent Hill to check it out. Supposedly there's been an increase in, err, _paranormal_ activity there. Don't even know what I was supposed to look for, anyway."

James shrugged. "The town's abandoned. But..." His tone turned grave. "There's definitely something going on there. I went there some years back, and... I don't even know what happened. It was three years ago, but it seems like just yesterday…"

"Well, whatever," said Leon, scratching his nose. "So, what about you, Henry?" he asked with something of a sneer. The photographer glared.

"Uh, well, me and Eileen were meant to be victims in the '21 Sacraments'. Walter over here was the murderer behind it all, but he's okay now." He motioned to Walter, who was trying to sleep.

Leon shrugged, about to speak when the subway car came to an abrupt halt. The lights flickered, and everything went silent. "What's this?" thought the agent aloud, bringing out his handgun. Henry and James prepared their steel pipes.

"With our luck, the Lord's probably going to attack us again," said James, taking the lead. "We need to be careful, especially if there's anyone else on the subway."

He turned around to begin walking when a horde of demon nurses smashed through the door, waving their pipes and weapons around in erratic motions. Leon ran up beside James, shooting a few away. "What are _these_ things? More demons?"

"Pretty much," replied James as he bashed a nurse down. "But there's too many of them!"

"James!" Henry called, a piece of the ceiling crashing down, separating them.

"Shit…" muttered Leon, hearing a window shatter. "Who are these people?"

**_Anyway_, Henry, Eileen, and little Wally managed to bust out…**

"They're everywhere!" hollered Henry, Eileen staggering around like a drunken fool. He dove into the foray, burning through the nurses and other monstrous forces with speed. "Eileen, little Walter, come on!" He ran on ahead, the other two being caught up in the throng of panicked civilians and demons. Henry swatted some more foes away before the ones surrounding him stopped. A slow applause could be heard.

"Mr. Townshend, impressive as always, I see," remarked Valtiel with a smirk as he walked out before the brunet, the demons clearing a way for him.

"Hey, it's you," said Henry, "what's-your-face!"

"You've even managed to retain some of that stale humor of yours… But it will not save you. Be assured though, that I come not to fight, but to propose something."

"Really?" said Henry, grinning, himself. He flicked his pipe around in the air. "Sorry, but I'm not in a listening mood. More like… _an ass-kicking mood_!"

Valtiel chuckled. "Of course, you humans can be so stubborn and altruistic. Don't you understand? This world is ours. Soon, our Paradise will be reality, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop us!" He broke out into insane laughter, beginning to approach Henry.

"The Lord had special plans for you, but I'm sure your role wasn't very major."

"Oh, yeah? We'll see!"

With a roar, Henry rushed at him, preparing to strike. Valtiel moved effortlessly to avoid it, knocking the pipe away with a flick of the wrist as he did so. Then, with lightning-fast speed, he slammed his palm into Henry's chest, the force blasting him into the subway car, creating a giant crease in the metal.

"See? You cannot even land a blow on me, Mr. Townshend," the demon said darkly as he walked over to him, but a bullet flew through his shoulder, and all the monsters roared and screeched, looking up toward the top of the subway car, where a man in a turncoat and bowler hat stood, two revolvers in his hands.

"Silver!" hissed the young man, composing himself quickly. "Very good… _Mr. Schreiber_."

The man jumped down in front of Henry, staring Valtiel on. "Lower Neck!" exclaimed Henry, Joseph nodding at him curtly.

"Hello, Henry."

"Heh, perfect. You've been something of a nuisance to us, Mr. Schreiber. Now-,"

"I apologize, but I have no time for your monologue," interrupted Joseph.

"_Really_?" Valtiel grinned. "You amuse me, Mr. Schreiber, but if that is the case, prepare to meet your end!"

He raised his hand, but another voice spoke.

"There will be no need for that, Valtiel."

Every demon bowed suddenly, as did Valtiel. The Lord appeared, holding Walter by the collar of his undershirt. "Walter!" Henry yelled, and the Lord threw him to the ground.

"I have found, Valtiel, the renegade Sullivan," he said plainly, "and I supposed you would enjoy having the pleasure of terminating him. As for these two, now is not the time. But very soon, everything will be as I have envisioned."

He then vanished, and Valtiel scowled at them. "…I cannot fathom why our Lord would spare you… However, I will abide by his wishes. Now then…"

Joseph grasped both Henry and Walter by the arm and dashed away, the plethora of demons chasing after them in haste.

"Run, fools! Run all you want!" shouted the Red God with glee. "You will not escape this subway alive!"

---

"Joseph, _what the hell is going on_?" screamed Henry as they ran. When they stopped five minutes later, the former journalist turned to them.

"I gathered information that the Lord was going to land a massive assault on you and you companions. I came as soon as I could, but things are not looking very bright. The final stages of the Lord's plans are coming into play, and he no longer has the time to deal with you."

"So he's the Lord, eh?" Walter asked, grounding his teeth. "He's the one who killed Harry and the others, and I'm supposing he's also the one behind all of these freaky things that have been going on recently?"

"Yes. You are a great liability to him, Walter, and it is because of this that we need your help. You, along with Henry, James Sunderland are threats to his power. His daughter is also very powerful."

"Wait," Henry gasped for breath, "you're saying the Lord has a _daughter_?"

"Yes."

"And who is it?"

"Of that… I'm not sure."

"Enough of your ramblings."

Before either Henry or Walter could react, a spear of bright, blue, crackling energy, impaled Joseph on the spot. He gasped, and Henry reached for his as he fell, becoming still.

"Joseph! _Joseph_!"

The Lord watched him intently, and the brunet glared at him furiously. "You, you killed him! You'll pay!"

"…Will I? Hmm, good. Focus that rage of yours, Henry, and use it." The Lord turned and went off, and the man ran after him. Walter started to follow, but a powerful impact knocked him back as Valtiel materialized before him.

"Unfortunately, Sullivan, your part in this ends here… and now." His right hand rose; a blue coat flew from out of nowhere.

"Catch it Walter!" He did, and put it on. In a flash, Valtiel was forced back as Walter stood, wearing his coat. He looked down at it, practically drooling.

"Coat! You have returned! Yes! Did that mean old homeless jerk-off hurt you? Did he? I promise, I'll get-,"

"This is the _last _time I shall be interrupted in my killing!" Valtiel screamed, unleashing a blast of crimson fire at Walter. The former serial killer caught the flames in his hands, vanquishing them by clasping his hands together. The young man roared and attempted a string of punches and kicks; Walter, with a look of extreme concentration on his face, parried each one and returned a few of his own.

Valtiel dodged these and leapt back, charging Walter and slamming his fist into his gut, sending him into a wall. He then sighed and slicked his hair back. Adjusting his tie, he approached the blond, who suddenly lunged out, scoring a well-delivered punch to his right cheek. The demon staggered back, rubbing the spot gingerly.

"How curious, Sullivan. Just a minute ago you were as weak and pathetic as a fruit fly. Yet now you are matching my actions. Tell me, how are you doing it?"

Walter snorted. "How about you ask Joe?"

Valtiel seemed genuinely perplexed. "Joe? Joe who?"

"Jomamma!"

Valtiel just stared at him for a moment, blinking once. "I… err… I know not how to respond…"

Walter raised an eyebrow. "Dude, it's a joke. I'm trying to taunt you. What, are you all-powerful demons too sophisticated for a little joke?"

"…I don't know."

"Uh…"

Valtiel sighed. "Enough of this!" He skipped towards Walter and hit him right in the abdomen, bashing him in the back with his opposite elbow as he did so. And then, as Walter dawdled there in pain for some seconds, he grabbed him by the collar of his coat with both hands and launched him into another wall.

"If you're not going to be serious about things, Sullivan, then this is going to be very difficult. Surely you want a quick death?" Walter squirmed, covered in debris, and lifted his head.

"Uh, yeah."

"Good."

Valtiel leapt toward him, and Walter did the same. They clashed, attacking each other in midair with a flurry of punches and kicks and combos. They moved incredibly fast; each movement was like a gust of air. The demon leaned back to avoid a high swing, twisted around, and flashed out his leg in a circular kick. Walter blocked it with his arm and grasped Valtiel's ankle, flinging him away. Valtiel somersaulted suddenly, breaking out of the throw and flying right back at Walter, clasping his hands together and slamming them into the back of Walter's neck. He hit the ground hard.

"Surrender, Sullivan, you cannot win. It is dreadfully hopeless." He blasted a current of invisible power at the blond, sneering to himself. But Walter immediately stood up and caught it in _his _palm. His knees buckled under the pressure.

"So you won't kneel and allowed to be killed, eh?" Valtiel chuckled. "Very well then, meet your end!" He reinforced the current, sending another wave crashing down upon Walter. He fell on one knee, but succeeded in holding the wave up.

"You… and your boss… you killed Harry and the others… when they did _nothing_! But first… allow me to introduce myself… I… am Walter Sullivan, and I… _am a Super Saiyan_!" With a roar he sent the blast back to Valtiel, who was hit straight on. He flew into a wall, causing a gigantic explosion of debris and rubble. Walter grinned.

"Anyone else want some? Come on out, I have enough for very little bi-,"

"…Walter." He stopped and turned around, seeing Joseph shuffling to him.

"Whoa, dude, you're going to hurt yourself," said Walter as he helped him to lean against a boulder. Joseph removed his bowler hat. Walter grimaced.

"My time is short, Walter, and I… forgive you for what you did. You only sought to be with your mother… Listen, you are the only one who can save us now. Henry, and James… they will need your help. The Lord, must be stopped, but you have to find his daughter, before he does…"

"Joseph!" He fell silent, and Walter bowed his head in respect before stealing the chocolate bar that was sticking out of his coat pocket.

---

"There, I think we got all of 'em here," said Leon as he flicked his head back, his hair falling across his face. James fidgeted awkwardly.

"We still have to find Henry and the others, though. They could be in danger."

"Yep."

Suddenly, several gunshots could be heard coming from nearby. They both raced over to where it was to see a man shooting a stray demon nurse in the head. "And that's Luis Sera to you, biatch."

"Luis!" exclaimed Leon. He seemed flabbergasted.

'**Flabbergasted' is a funny word.**

The Spaniard turned and elated. "Leon!" James backed away, for it seemed like they were going to prance to each other and hug.

"Luis, how're you alive? I remember Saddler impaled you, and I swear I wasn't on my crack at the time…"

Luis laughed. "You know me, Leon, never say 'die'. Besides, Saddler… _kill me_? Ha, you know how to make a man laugh."

"…Uh huh." Leon half-giggled and glanced at James, who shrugged. "But Luis," he continued, "he really _did_ kill you. Don't you remember?" Luis shrugged.

"…Not really, it's all sort of hazy when I think about that castle… Hey, you and Ashley get out?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, also managed to eradicate the Los Illuminados. You know, all in a day's work."

"Of course, but a hero's work is never done."

"So, Luis," Leon folded his arms, "what're you doing here?"

"Oh." Luis cleared his throat. "When I woke up a few days ago in San Diego, a creepy, hooded fellow greeted me and told me to head over to a city called Ashfield. He said you'd be here, and then I recalled that I owed you one."

"Well, actually, you owe me like, ten."

"No, I remember that _I_ saved you quite a few times back in that cabin."

"No, no I-,"

Out of nowhere, a subway car came by and hit Luis. It took Leon a few moments to realize what happened. His eyes widened. "Luis!" he cried. "_Luis_!" His grieving did not last long, however, as the whole place shook violently.

"Now what?" thought James aloud as they ran towards the disturbance.

---

"Show yourself!" yelled Henry, waving his pipe around in the air. The Lord appeared behind him.

"Good, Henry, you are truly angry. Utilize that anger and strike me down… or…" With a swish of his hand, Eileen and Child Walter materialized beside him. They were unconscious. "Strike me down or watch them die, Henry. It would be so easy to kill them right now."

"No!" Henry said, throwing his pipe to the side, "but I won't let you toy around with my mind."

"Hmm?"

"Haven't you seen 'Star Wars'?"

"The original one. In any case, Henry, if you are unwilling to give into your anger, then their souls are mine."

"No, please…" Henry pleaded, "Leave them alone."

The Lord grinned underneath his Robbie the Rabbit head, which was underneath his hood. "I shall spare them, as long as you become one of us."

"_What_?"

"Yes, to welcome the power of Silent Hill into yourself is to accept your true emotions and utilize them. You will have limitless power, and will be ultimately saved when our Judgment comes about, which is very soon."

He held out his hand to Henry very dramatically. "Join us, Henry, for we have pudding."

"_Pudding_? Well, _why didn't you say so_?" He took his hand, and a surge of demonic energies coursed throughout Henry's body. The 'Halo of the Sun' appeared on his forehead, and his eyes turned a deep, murky yellow.

"Yes, can you feel it, Henry?"

"Actually, I don't feel any different. Can I have my pudding?"

"Of course." The Lord snapped his fingers, and a chocolate pudding materialized in Henry's hand. He smiled and began devouring it.

"Henry!" Walter called as he ran up to them, stopping short. "Oh no… Henry!" The Lord turned to him.

"Henry has seen the futility of your resistance. I suppose Valtiel failed in destroying you. Interesting…"

The brunet looked up from his pudding. "And Eileen and little Walter; I don't want them involved in this. Do you guarantee their safety?"

"Of course," the Lord said, slicking his wrist; Eileen and Child Walter appeared above Walter and fell on top of him. "Well then." A portal of darkness formed, creating a tremor that ran throughout the area. "We must be off, Henry, for our time has come."

They then proceeded through it.


	16. Episode XVI

_Come on, kiddies! Gather around!_

_Now tell me everyone…_

_Aren't you all sick and tired of that 'ol crappy plotline?_

_That's right, be honest!_

_Honesty helps you grow big and strong!_

_But not like Leon, because he lies!_

_He's not a Silent Hill character! Boo! Boo!_

_Okay you fine youngsters, let's all sing the Silent Hill Song!_

_Ready? And a –one, and a –two and a –one,_

_two, five, seven..._

_Everybody sing the Silent Hill song!_

_Come on friends – let's sing along!_

**I'm… not even going to ask…**

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XVI**

"You sure this'll work, Heather?" asked Douglas. He screwed up his eyes at his place near the back of the cell. Heather, who was working diligently at inspecting the wall, nodded.

"Of course it will. All we need to do is wait until that guy, Don, comes to check on us, and then we'll spring on him!" She emphasized this by thrusting her fist downward. Silence.

"That's not very assuring," said Cynthia. Jasper nodded, picking his nose. The Hispanic female scooted closer to him. "Oh, I love it when you pick your nose like that, Jaspy," she said lovingly, and he flushed, giggling stupidly.

Heather and Douglas exchanged glances… again. The teenager cleared her throat and pointed at the cell bars. "Soon, my friends, soon. Now, I have to take a shit back there, so, um…"

"Go ahead," said Douglas, and he allowed her to move past him to the toilet a little ways off.

**Who else thought that was excruciatingly pointless? Hopefully not just me…**

"How long have we been walking?" complained Leon as he scratched aimlessly at his shoulder. He and the others were trekking along the side of the road a few miles out of Ashfield. Unfortunately, it was raining quite heavily.

James let out a weary sigh. "…Does it matter? We had to get out; the city was practically infested with demons. There wasn't any time to jack a car."

Child Walter tugged at Eileen's skirt, who was still slightly drunk. "I have to pee."

She looked down at him sheepishly. "…Uh, Walter will take you, okay little Wally?"

"Okay!" He turned to Walter, a stupid smile on his face. The older version smiled back nervously. "I have to pee. Can you take me?"

"…Alright." And so, Walter led his younger self a few meters into the field nearby. Child Walter unzipped his pants, but looked up at Walter.

"Can you help me aim?"

"…_What_?"

Meanwhile, James slumped to the ground and ran his hands through his hair. Leon slid his jacket off and began inspecting it with disdain. "…It's as if wherever I go, my jacket's the one that suffers." Sighing, he kicked at a stone, sending it flying across the mud.

"Hey, James, what happened to Henry, again?" Eileen asked, plopping down beside him. He squeezed the bridge of his nose.

"According to Walter, he went with the Lord, for some reason. It's just… maybe the Lord _was_ right. First Dad, then Laura and Mary, and now Henry… It's hopeless. I can't do this!" He buried his head in his hands, and Eileen patted him lightly on the back in a drunken manner.

"Hey, it's okay," she comforted. "It's not all hopeless. Just because Frank and everyone else is gone, and Ashfield will be in ruins by morning, doesn't mean a thing!"

James sobbed.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," Leon said, a wheat stick in his mouth. "That Henry guy wasn't really making much of a difference anyway. It just goes to show you that he was weak-willed. Didn't he-what's his name, Walter-say that he was swayed over by pudding."

"…Pudding…?" Eileen got up, her brow furrowed. "You mean he joined forces with those sexpots because of _pudding_? _What flavor_?"

"I think vanilla," said Walter plainly as he walked back with Child Walter, rubbing his palm on his coat.

"_VANILLA_?" Furiously, Eileen kicked at a rock. It sailed over to Child Walter and nicked him in the head; he yelped and nearly fell over. "I swear, I'm going to rip his head off! Vanilla's go to be the suckiest flavor _ever_!"

James groaned, but Leon tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I think there's a diner near here. Let's go get some pie, eh?"

"…Pie? Haven't had some in awhile…"

Sure enough, a small, poorly-conditioned diner sat on the side of the road. Christmas lights were strung around the building, and pigs' heads dotted the roof, on which was a sign that read, _PiGz DUOendum_, _Best pies this side of the countryside!_

"Guess that explains the pig heads…" murmured Walter, but James pointed at something hanging on the doorway.

"What about the decapitated chicken and fish that are hanging there?"

"Oh, _who cares_?" demanded Eileen as she yanked the chicken off and bit into it savagely. "I'm hungry and I want some pie!"

James scratched his head. "Didn't… you like pudding, though?"

"Pudding can _bite_… _my_… _pus_-,"

"Well now, are you all going to come and eat or what?" All of them turned to see a creepy old woman standing in the doorway, holding a gigantic meat cleaver. She wore black-rimmed spectacles, and was extremely wrinkly and decrepit.

Leon swallowed hard. "Let's go get some pie."

---

Inside, the diner's atmosphere was very oppressive. In one corner, a strange rectangular prism sat, where a disturbing, mechanical clown laughed in a very unnerving manner. The lights were dimmed, and peculiar characters were at the booths and tables, even though there weren't that many. James, Leon, and the others took a seat at the front counter while Child Walter dashed to the bathroom.

Behind the counter, a grisly man with a gray beard and loose clothing watched them with a weird, interested look and a great big grin. He held the neck of a chicken tightly in his grip, and in his other hand was a cleaver, identical to that of the creepy old woman.

"So… what will you boys be ordering today?" As he said this he swung the cleaver, slicing the chicken's head off and releasing a stream of blood to billow out. James was squeamish; Leon was indifferent.

"Hey, I did that before," he commented, studying the chicken intently. "Then I got its egg and threw it at this guy with a burlap bag on his head… Anyway, we wanted some pie."

"Pie, you say…?" The man erupted into cold laughter, glancing at his co-workers behind him. "Did you hear him? He wants _pie_!"

The rest of them started laughing, and soon everyone was, aside from James, Leon, and Walter. Eileen, in her fit of hysterical laughter, clubbed a man in the head with a wine bottle.

But as immediately as it all began, it stopped in chilly silence. The man snorted. "What type?"

Leon snorted back. "_Lemon_."

"Lemon…?" The man flung his cleaver away, smacking a hobo in the head with it. "Did you hear that?" he asked, turning to his co-workers once more. "He wants _lemon_ pie!" And once again, they all roared as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Finally they ceased, and the man grunted. "How many?"

Leon grunted back. "Four or so."

"Did you hear _that_?" the man exclaimed, slapping his knee. "He wants _four_ lemon pies!" For a third time, all of the diner's occupants exploded into laughter, even Eileen. They were cut short, however, when a fairly young man walked in, drenched in rain. He shook some of the water off and glared at James and Leon.

"…Shit…" muttered Leon, "It's Smankhee."

James looked toward him quizzically. "Smankhee? He was that mobster that was at Dunky-Dunks. He and his men almost killed us."

"_Almost_?" Leon seemed genuinely shocked. "…You should be thanking God. Smankhee _never_ almost kills his targets."

The mobster, whose jacket was for some reason missing, grinned smugly. "Well, Mr. Kennedy, it seems the time has come. And what luck I have! Now can I not only dispose of you, but also of those foolish imbeciles who stalled me at that disgusting restaurant."

"…But what did _we_ ever do?" inquired Walter. Smankhee shook his head.

"Fools! I am certain you were connected to the destruction of my precious Metal Gear, which I saw amongst the rubble of that bloody Dunky-Dunks!"

Walter smiled innocently. "Oh yeah… _that_."

Smankhee sighed, and drew out a machinegun from his back pocket. "…Now, I think I shall kill you."

"…Did you hear that?" the weird man blurted out. "He wants to _kill them_!" The confounded laughter started up again, and Smankhee mimicked this for a moment before slaughtering them all with his machinegun. Leon, James, Eileen, and Walter had ducked at just the right time.

The brunet mobster grimaced. "That was much too irritating."

"Try listening to it three times!" said Leon, but Smankhee disregarded this and nodded to James.

"What about your stupid brown-haired friend? The one whose genitals I almost shot off."

Leon smirked. "Huh, _double_-lucky."

James furrowed his brow. "You mean Henry? He's… not with us any longer."

"Oh. What a shame. I wished to make up for my mistake, even though that fine lady over yonder is the one at fault. In any case," he raised the machinegun, "enough talk. Time to die."

He was about to begin firing when Leon drew out his knife and sent it flying; it knocked the weapon out of Smankhee's hands, and the agent prepared to shoot with his own handgun. Smankhee was quicker though, and spun around, hitting up a prosthetic hand from a corpse with his foot to block the bullet. In an instant he had brought out two magnums, spinning them around in complex motions and maneuvers.

"Let's play a game of Russian Roulette!" he cried, "but the odds are against you!" They all scattered, hopping over bodies and upturned tables to escape his erratic shots. James and Walter dove behind the counter, moving the strange man out of the way to organize themselves. Walter took out his dual pistols and James readied his firearm. They darted up, shooting at Smankhee, but the mobster circled around the miniscule projectiles and disappeared behind a table.

Leon rolled out into the open and attempted fire, successfully blasting one of the magnums out of his hands. Smankhee ground his teeth, shooting directly at Leon's head; the blond leaned back, narrowly avoiding the shot as it exploded into the wall behind him. Quickly, he somersaulted forward and kicked, but that was blocked as the mafia member twisted around and elbowed Leon in the back. The agent wormed his way around after this and hit him off-balance.

Smankhee stopped himself with his elbows as Leon slid the magnum away with his foot. Smankhee caught his foot and pushed him off, flipping up and delivering a powerful spin-kick that sent him into the wall. James and Walter shot at them, but again the mobster dodged the bullets and kicked up a stick from the remains of a pool table. He smacked a random ball at Walter, his aim perfect. James flipped over the counter and lunged at Smankhee, but he swung the pool stick and slammed it into James' head.

The clerk rolled away the second he hit the floor, jumping up and grabbing the pool stick. He and Smankhee wrestled with it, each trying to get it from the other's grip. It was Smankhee who succeeded, pushing him off. Walter rushed at him, but was nailed in the crotch and flung back towards the counter, which he stumbled over.

Smankhee returned to the floor, searching fervently for his magnums. Upon finding one he grinned and looked up, to see Leon standing before him, his own magnum in his hands.

"Sorry, Smankhee," he said, "but the game's up." He pulled the trigger, and the mafia member was blasted out into the road.

The sound of a toilet flushing was heard, and Child Walter stepped out of the restroom. "I had to go again."

Leon drew a breath and turned to James. "How about we don't make little pit stops like this again?"

"…Sure…" replied James as he stood up and dusted himself off. "It's to Silent Hill, then."

**Well, as much as I want to "lawlz", it's time to see if Heather is done taking her dump…**

Don walked over to the cell, looking at Douglas, Heather, and the others. "I'm here to, uh, bring your food." He motioned to the two trays in his hands. "One for you, the other for Mrs. Sunderland over there."

"Thank you!" chirped Mary, but as Don approached her cell door, Henry neared him.

"Hey, what's going on over here?" he asked, glancing inside the cells. Upon seeing Jasper and Cynthia, he smiled. "Guys, what do you doing here?"

"Henry!" Cynthia exclaimed. "I don't know why you're here, but could you help us get out? That's Heather and Douglas over there." She pointed at them, and Henry waved.

"Nice to meet you."

"Um, yeah," said Douglas and Heather simultaneously. Henry turned back to Cynthia and Jasper.

"About helping you escape, sorry. Comes with the evil territory, but I could ask for better accommodations. Oh! I also got these nifty powers! Watch!"

Henry swished his hand at Don, and instantly the poor guy began to convulse, clawing at his throat in agony.

"Don't kill him!" Heather interrupted, running forward. "We, uh…" She blinked, thinking. "We need him to bring us our food!"

"Relax, I'm not going to kill him!" Heather and Douglas let out a relieved sigh. "I can show you guys Force Lightning though-,"

"No!" they practically shouted, and Henry shrugged, placing his hands on his hips. "I suppose I'll see you guys later." With another wave he was off, and Mary leaned against the wall.

"That was a close one, wasn't it?"


	17. Episode XVII

_Come on, kiddies! Gather around!_

_Now tell me everyone…_

_Aren't you all sick and tired of that 'ol crappy plotline?_

_That's right, be honest!_

_Honesty helps you grow big and strong!_

_But sometimes lying is good for you too!_

_But then Dahlia might eat you!_

_Okay you fine youngsters, let's all sing the Silent Hill Song!_

_Ready? And a –one, and a –two and a –one,_

_two, five, seven..._

_Everybody sing the Silent Hill song!_

_Come on friends – let's sing along!_

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XVII**

Sitting atop his circular throne, the Lord watched silently through the great windowpane that was before him. The town was covered in snow, the flakes glittering in the light of dawn. Underneath his hood and Robbie the Rabbit head covering, he smiled. He could see them coming from far off, the group of five that was led by James Sunderland. They were walking right to their doom.

"For the first time they are making the offensive I see," said the Dog as he walked up beside the throne. "Are you positive Townshend will be of use to us?"

"Quite," the Lord replied, his voice cold. "I shall use him to snuff out Sunderland and his group, but not until they have eliminated Wolf, Stone, and Maria. It will save us the trouble, and once that is done Henry will be dispensable. However, I do have a concern."

"I feel it too," stated the Dog, "another party is at work here. How shall we deal with them?"

The Lord stepped off from his throne and folded his arms. "Soon enough, soon enough. I believe we can also rely on our guests to draw this third party out."

The Dog wagged its tail anxiously. "To be honest, I am curious to see the extent of their capabilities…"

"My Lord," greeted Valtiel as he entered, bowing respectfully. "I have alerted the others. Shall we begin preparations?" The Lord glanced down at the Dog, and then looked back up at Valtiel.

"Certainly. I suppose now is the time." He smirked. "Now is the time for our Paradise!"

---

Another dart struck the black-and-white mugshot of James Sunderland and Maria laughed heartily. "Isn't it perfect?" she said to Pyramid Head while readying another dart. "We finally get the chance to do James in, and I can settle the score with that bimbo! She won't get the heads-up on me this time!"

Pyramid Head, however, was hardly paying attention. He was sitting beside the window, peering out at it, lost in his thoughts. A dart clanked off of his helmet.

"Hey," Maria called, "aren't you listening? Hey!"

"Oh-sorry," he replied, turning to her. "What were you saying?"

"She was talking about killing James," informed Laura, who was suddenly sitting at the table. Pyramid Head blinked at her under his helmet.

"When did you get in here?"

"I dunno. Hey, so how do you breathe in that thingamajig?"

The demon stroked his pyramid thoughtfully. "Well, I don't _need_ to breathe, actually-,"

"Oh, don't sweet-talk the stupid brat, Stone!" Maria said, slamming her palms on the table. "Look, scram, kid!"

"You don't know anything, you stupid slut!" Laura retorted, sticking her tongue out at Maria before dashing off.

"How _dare_ you…!" Maria cried, grounding her teeth. "Where'd she learn language like that from, anyway?"

Pyramid Head shrugged, and, frustrated, Maria gave chase. When everything was silent, Pyramid Head sighed wistfully, gazing out at the snow. "Frank…" he mumbled. "Frank, tell me what I should do…"

"Well, I'll be damned. Even in death, I never would've thought _you_ would _ever_ ask for my help." Pyramid Head looked up and nearly stumbled out of his chair in shock.

"_Frank_!" Indeed, the ghostly, blue-tinted, form of Frank Sunderland floated above, smiling down at him. "Frank…" the demon gasped, "You look like…"

"…I've become one with the Force. You scoffed at the idea, but here I am."

"But Frank, why are you here…?"

"It's not like I'm going to just _disappear_, Jim. This is the end of the world, and James is in danger, isn't he?"

"James…" Pyramid Head sat back and stared down at his hands. "…I just don't know, Frank. Lately… I don't feel that I am loyal to our Lord… I feel so distracted and… but I can do nothing. I have sold my soul to our Lord; I am at the mercy of his will."

Frank's shook his head. "No, Jimmy, it's not so. You still have time to do something, you still have the power! Were our struggles against The Order so long ago meaningless…?" he pleaded, but his former apprentice just sighed.

"It's pointless, Frank. Even if I wanted to do something… my power is insignificant compared to the Lord's…"

"Even so, it's not as if you have to engage him in combat. We're all in this together, but I can't really do much, unfortunately…"

"…But, Frank…"

"What?" The ghostly image of Frank Sunderland fizzled. "No one's holding you back, Jim; it's your decision. Just keep the bigger picture in mind." And, just as quickly as he appeared, Frank disappeared, leaving Pyramid Head to sigh once more.

Lisa suddenly sat down beside him. "Hey…" she said. "Are, uh, you horny? Because I am."

Pyramid Head stared at her for a moment, before standing abruptly. "Sorry, I have to go… err… have someone to um… do… _anal on_!" He ran off, and Lisa jumped to her feet.

"No!" she screamed. "_I want the buttsecks_!"

**What… the hell? Anyway… onto our very competent heroes…**

"Finally… we're here," proclaimed James, a look of serious determination on his face. Through the fog and falling snow, Leon let out a whistle.

"Seems pretty vacant… wait, that wasn't corny enough…"

"Nothing looks that strange," remarked Walter, wiping some yellow, pale liquid off of his coat. "Then again, we need to go further into the town." Eileen, who was holding Child Walter by the hand, pointed forward.

"I don't think _that_ was there before, guys…" Everyone turned to see what she was gesturing to. Walter crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his arm in curious manner.

"You mean that gigantic tower in the center of the town?" Sure enough, a great tower was stationed dead-center within the town. It was composed of yellowish-orange stone, with enormous stained-glass windows carved out of it. Eileen shook her head fervently.

"No, not _that_, silly, _that_!"

Out of the fog, a peculiar grinning man dressed in a crimson robe came riding by on a bicycle, slowing waving his hand and turning his head to stare in their direction. After several moments, he rode back into the fog and out of sight. James scratched his chin and blinked.

"Well… disregarding that…" He nodded towards the tower. "That was never there before, not three years ago, or ten, or twenty! It _must_ be the Lord's headquarters. There is no other explanation."

"But, I remember Joseph said something about the Lord having a daughter," stated Walter. "We can't just go in there and blow the place up. We need to take care of that matter first."

"A… _daughter_…?" James rubbed his eyes, mumbling to himself all the while. "A daughter… No!" He looked up and gasped. "That can't be!"

He took off, sprinting towards the architecture. Walter and the others chased after him, calling out, and soon enough they reached the tower. James managed to heave open the massive double-doors and entered, with the others trailing after him. Upon going inside however, he was nowhere to be found.

"Where'd he go?" said Leon. "Hey, James, you in here?" he shouted, but no answer came. The four of them were standing in a large, circular hall, with a giant staircase protruding upwards. A skylight was set above at the top of the tower, and a ghastly light poured down into the room. Intricate and complex designs were etched into the stone, following the staircase in a spiral fashion. On the floor, a magnificent mural was painted, depicting a complicated entanglement of an angel and a demon.

Two doors faced each other at opposite sides of the hall—one on the left, and one on the right.

"He could've gone either way," spoke Walter as he walked forward. "We'll have to split-,"

A startled yelp interrupted him, and both Leon and Walter spun around to see Eileen and Child Walter gone, as if they had vanished out of thin air. Leon grunted and started heading to the right door. "Come on, there's no time to lose!" He went through it, and Walter was about to follow when a crooked steel pipe flew out of the blue and stuck itself into the floor ahead of him.

"Sorry, Walter, can't let you go." The former murderer looked up, just in time to see Henry leap down from the top of the staircase, dressed in a dark brown robe. The 'Halo of the Sun' glowed on his forehead.

"Henry. I see you've accommodated yourself," he said, "but I can't understand why you would join them; they're insane."

"So are _you_, eh, Walter?" Henry responded. "Really, it's not that hard to comprehend. I have my reasons… and besides, I've gained power you could never hope to gain."

"You don't need power, Henry," said Walter, meeting his gaze. "What would you use it for, tell me."

"Well, first off, I would get my vengeance upon you for eating my chocolate pudding!" Henry gritted his teeth and threw out his arms furiously. "I forgot about it for awhile, but after gaining this awesome power, I can see everything clearly! You and the others are like germs, dirtying our Lord's holy Paradise… a paradise… of _pudding_!"

Walter gaped at him. "Henry, what does pudding have to do with _anything_?"

"No, Walter, pudding has to do with _everything_! It is the axis upon which our Lord's plans revolve! It is the absolute; _pudding_ is the absolute! It is the Alpha and the Omega! It is eternal and infinite!"

"Henry…" The blond shook his head, sighing disappointedly. "You've gone mad, Henry. Pudding isn't the absolute, far from it actually. And the Lord is just using you, it's obvious. He's taking advantage of your love for pudding, poisoning your mind with his crazy ideas." Walter approached him and extended his hand. "Come on, Henry. Let's work together to end this."

He smiled sincerely, but Henry only laughed. "I'm sorry Walter, but I can't do that. We both know where we stand. We were destined to kill each other in the end."

"…Henry, what about Eileen…?" Walter inquired desperately. "Are you just going to _abandon_ her now…? After everything's that happened?"

The brunet giggled evilly. "No, Eileen will be spared… and join me in our Paradise. Along with anyone else who is worthy, I'm sure. Now enough of this…" He shot out his hand, his pipe freeing itself and flying into his grasp. "Draw your weapon, Walter! This shall be our decisive final battle!"

Walter lolled his head to the side sadly and drew his own Steel Pipe, a mirror-image of Henry's, aside from the yellowish appearance. Henry grinned maniacally, but suddenly broke out into a fit of silly giggles.

"Goddamn Walter, you're so gullible!"

The blond blinked confusedly. "What?"

"Did you think I could be _that_ sinister? Really? I was just messing with you, man."

"Playing a joke on me like that? It doesn't seem like you, though…"

Henry half-shrugged and said, "Well, being evil changes you in some ways. I am a little by surprised by my actions…" He threw his head up and swirled the pipe around. "Nevertheless, Walter, I really _can't_ let you go. The Lord wants you dead, and I have to oblige. Besides, we can settle the score, eh?"

They began to circle each other, each one following opposite edges of the floor. "Then I suppose it's inevitable. We really _are_ destined to kill each other."

"Yes." In seconds they were already clashing in the center of the floor, sparks flying every which way between the two pipes. Henry broke off and swung. Walter ducked and bashed his weapon into Henry's gut, knocking the wind out of him. The brunet staggered back, faking pain. Walter dove in for the kill, but Henry only laughed and avoided the attack while kicking Walter's pipe out of his hands.

"It's not going to be that easy, Walter!" He twirled and the two fought in midair for several quick seconds before Henry took hold of Walter's wrist and sent him soaring towards a nearby wall, his other hand crackling with blue electricity all the while.

Walter rebounded off of the wall, shifting his weight downward to dodge the blast of Force Lightning as it coursed into the wall. The former serial killer landed and made a mad dash to his pipe, which was lodged into the floor. He successfully tore it out, just in time to use it as a shield against another Force Lightning blast. With a cry he knocked the sphere of now-concentrated energy into a random spot higher up. Debris and bits of rubble came raining down as Henry chortled. "You're good Walter."

"…You've improved yourself, Henry," commented Walter as he spat out some blood.

"Oh, you must be referring to _this_!" the photograph exclaimed while sending a mass of white energy Walter's way. The blond darted to his right and made for a run across the wall in a diagonal manner. Henry tried countless, weaker blasts to nail his adversary, but with great effort Walter flew off right towards Henry, who brought his Steel Pipe up in defense just as they collided and he was smashed into another wall. Stuck in the newly-formed, craggy crater, Walter stabbed his pipe into Henry's shoulder.

The brunet uttered a guttered cry. Then his face lit up in a horrible smirk. His hand wrapped itself around the pipe and ripped it out, not even resulting in a wince for him. In the same movement he threw the pipe off and his other hand clamped harshly around Walter's throat. He summoned his own pipe in the other.

"Good try, but nowhere near well enough!" Henry jammed his weapon through Walter's abdomen, and the coated man stumbled back, stunned. Henry grinned insanely and merely pushed him out of the hole. He hovered out and conjured up another mass of raw energy in his hands. He shot it straight at Walter as he felt, but the blond was not one to give up so easily. With all of his strength he ripped the pipe out and hurled it straight through the blast, impeding its progress. It also headed right at Henry at breakneck speeds, but all he did was move his head a few degrees and the pipe flew harmlessly by.

"I see why our Lord is so afraid of you…" said Henry, more to himself than to his opponent, "but he really has no reason to fear. We all know I'm the stronger one here, Walter!"

Down below, the blond chuckled. "…That's because everyone who played and beat the game… _were pussies and put it on Easy mode_!"

Henry did not laugh at this, nor did he reply with a witty remark. No, he only grimly stared down at his wrecked enemy. "…Then I guess… _I should really prove myself_!"

He flew down, with Walter willing himself to back-flip out of the way oncoming punch. He landed on his feet just as Henry came down, and he went straight for a punch with his left fist. Henry caught it, but the second one broke through and nailed him right in the jaw, forcing him back. Walter followed this up with a total of three kicks-one to the right knee, one to the oblique abdominal, and the last one to his temple. And then one final thrust kick was executed, right into Henry's chest. He was slammed to the floor, and even skidded a bit. They both regarded each other for a moment, one on the floor, the other standing, and then, they clashed.

It was a hurricane of missed and connected hits, each one devastating. Henry was hit several times in the side; Walter was the victim of powerful blows to his stomach.

Henry countered another kick and threw Walter off. The blond stopped himself and went for a second kick, but Henry was faster, managing to strafe to the left. Both of them then readied a punch, and both came through simultaneously. They were launched in opposite directions, the two of them landing hard on their backs.

Henry got to his feet first, although he struggled somewhat. "Walter… you're powerful… but even at your best you can't defeat me…" The blond looked up at him, his body aching all over the place. Henry gathered energy in one hand, preparing to eliminate his rival once and for all, however the 'Halo of the Sun' symbol on his forehead burned and emanated an intense red suddenly. The energy dissipated and he winced at the pain. Out of nowhere, a voice came to them.

"Henry, that is enough. Leave Sullivan. You must head down to the core and intercept our good friend James Sunderland." Walter recognized the voice instantly. It belonged to no other than Joseph Schreiber, Harry, Fabio, and Vincent's murderer: the Lord himself.

"But… my Lord! Walter is in no shape to retaliate! I can destroy him now!"

"No, Henry, you must stop Sunderland; should he manage to shut down the core, the tower will fall. Now, hurry."

Henry nodded solemnly. "…Yes, sire." The glowing ceased, the burning sensation stopped. He willed his Steel Pipe back to him and granted Walter one final glare, and then a twisted smile.

"Guess we'll have to finish this another time…"

"…Yes…" As he walked off, Walter's head rolled back and he fell into darkness…

**Um… time to fill in the blanks, I guess…**

James had wandered through the left door upon entering the tower, but not for any particular reason. He had to find Laura. It was the only possible explanation as far as he knew. The Lord had created her, so wouldn't she technically be his daughter? There was no other option, and time was running out.

He stood in a long, wide hall, made of finely-polished marble and painted an exquisite mix of beige and orange. On the giant wall to his left were several stained-glass windows. Quite a way ahead of him was a large, green set of double-doors. He jogged towards them.

They opened all of a sudden. James stopped and let out a gasp after seeing who it was that came out.

"Mary!" he called, relief pouring over him. The woman, who hadn't taken notice of him at first, nearly tripped over herself as she ran over and embraced him.

"Oh, James! Thank goodness you're here!" she cried.

"Mary, I'm so glad you're all right! I-I thought you were gone again!"

"Don't be silly, James!" she said while moving away and looking into his face. "I wouldn't leave you again, not after everything that's happened!"

James chuckled, but recalled what was driving him just moments ago. "Mary," he began, "Mary, where's Laura? She's in danger!"

"Laura?" she said. "Laura's _here_?"

"Yeah, and she's right here!" They looked back to the double-doors, where Maria was standing, holding Laura by the wrist forcefully. "She saw you after you and your little friends escaped. She ran after you, but me and 'ol Pyramiddy here caught her!"

"Let go of me, you slut!" shrieked the little girl as she stomped on Maria's foot and raced towards Mary.

"_Mary_!"

She wrapped her arms around Mary's waist, squeezing as hard as she could. Mary patted her affectionately on the back. "It's alright, Laura. I'm here!" Maria watched them, silently admiring the scene. Pyramid Head appeared behind her, catching sight of James.

"Ah!" exclaimed the demon as he approached James. "I knew she would lead us to you, James." His son removed his Steel Pipe, but stopped there. He licked his lips nervously.

"…Father…?"

Pyramid Head stopped as well, bowing his head. "No, don't call me that. I… have betrayed you…" As he said this, Maria bounded up beside him.

"Aha, James! Now we can settle this once for and all!"

"Not quite."

Everything went silent. All of them turned round to see the Lord, slowly clapping his hands in mock fashion. "Touching. Right out of a picture book almost. Why, if I still retained my humanity, my foul mood would be lifted."

"My Lord!" cried Pyramid Head as he bowed. "My Lord, what, what is the problem?"

"The problem, Stone, is that everything I carefully planned seems to be unraveling… because of disloyalty."

"…What are you implying, my Lord?"

"Stop playing game with me, Stone…" said the Lord gravely, his usually calm demeanor deteriorating, "Do you recall our last conversation?"

Pyramid Head nodded slowly. "…Indeed I do, sire…"

"Ah, good, so then you must remember what you said about James, that you would slay him without hesitation? And look what we have here." He gestured to the Sunderlands and Maria. "Even Maria. What…a pity." He turned to Pyramid Head. "If your precious son is worth so much to you, then show my where your true loyalties lie!"

His palm ignited in a flash of pearly energy. He launched it at James, but he was pushed out of the way by Mary.

"…No!" James screamed, but it was too late. Mary was engulfed by the blast.

"Hmm…" The Lord watched in curiosity as James knelt down beside his battered wife, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

"Mary… no…"

"Mary!" Laura took hold of her arm and sobbed uncontrollably. She glared at James hatefully. "Why? Why didn't you protect her! You stupid, stupid, _stupid head_!"

Mary coughed hoarsely, her voice barely audible. "…No, Laura… it wasn't James' fault, it never was… Just… give him a chance, for me, alright?"

"But Mary… he didn't protect you! It _is_ his fault! It's _all _his fault!"

"…Mary…" murmured James. "No… not again… not again…" She managed to smile weakly at him before her body gave way, and she closed her eyes. "Mary… _Mary_…!" James pulled up her body, but it vanished in seconds. Laura gasped, and even Maria was a little teary-eyed.

Pyramid Head remained silent.

"_You_… I swear… you-will-_pay_!" shouted James as he drew his Steel Pipe and ran at the Lord. He screamed out and struck at his cunning nemesis. The Lord swished his hand out in one movement; James was flung away across the hall.

"You have been a thorn in my side for far too long, Sunderland! I shall end you now!" The Lord generated another sphere of energy and shot it at the fallen hero. Pyramid Head took this all in, and, in that moment, made a decision.

The Lord grunted. The blast never reached James. Pyramid Head groaned as smoke and vapors rose from his body. He fell to his knees, defeated.

"It is… odd watching this all unfold, wouldn't you say, Maria?" asked the Lord. Maria glanced at him and then at James and Pyramid Head. "I cannot… _understand_ your notions of sacrifice and love… they are as foreign to me as they once were familiar…"

"Is that… regret…?" Maria inquired, but he only laughed.

"No, I chose to abandon my humanity, and I am satisfied with the results. Now then, I must be off; there is no longer any time to take care of you fools."

He disappeared. James slowly stood up and started toward the double-doors. "Maria, please take care of Laura and get out of here."

"Where-where are you going?"

"I'm going to finish it. I'm going to kill him."

"No," muttered Pyramid Head, "don't waste your time. He'll destroy you."

"Then what else is there for me to do?" responded James angrily. "He won't get away with all of this!"

"The core, James," said the demon as he shuffled over to a corner of the hall. He took hold of an unseen metallic ring and heaved open a small door to below. "Go through here, and you'll reach the _core_, or really, the source of power and stability for the tower. Shut it down, and the tower will fall. That will crush the Lord's plans for now, I assure you, and then, when all your allies have been united, we can defeat him."

James scrutinized him, narrowing his eyes. "Why are you helping me? I don't understand."

Pyramid Head sighed. "It's quite a long story, but I'd rather Frank be here when you learn the truth. Now, stop wasting time. The Lord will already have predicted our course of action; you can be sure he's sent someone to stop you."

"But-,"

"No. Go."

James stared at the pyramid-shaped helmet for a long time, but finally nodded. "Alright. But please leave this place, all of you." And with that, he dropped through the hatch.


	18. Episode XVIII

_Come one kiddies, gather-_

_Static_

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XVIII**

Don neared Heather's cell with care, trying to keep the white, Styrofoam box in his hands steady. Within the cell, Heather and the others stared at him attentively. He unlocked the door, but quickly dropped the keys and fished around in his pocket for something. "Don't try anything," he warned, "I've got a taser!"

Douglas, who was rummaging around his coat as well, removed a revolver with a look of complete shock on his face. "And, uh, I've got a gun."

"What the-," The bullet rammed through Don's shoulder and he screamed in agony, dropping the box of food. "You whores!" he cried as they ran out and Heather grabbed the keys off of the floor. "That was your bloody breakfast!"

"Well, we weren't hungry," the fake blond said as she released Mary from her cell. She blew Don a kiss before following the others as they sped down the corridor.

"You won't get away with this!" he shouted while reaching for his stun gun, and he let out a curse when he couldn't get it.

Meanwhile, Heather joined up with her comrades as they rounded a corner. However, someone got in their way. "Alessa!" Lisa called, skipping up to them. Heather inspected the nurse with the dumbest expression conceivable.

"…Lisa?" she ventured.

"Oh great! You remember!" she exclaimed, breathing a sigh of relief. "Listen, when I heard you and them were trapped here, I just had to come and free you guys!"

"Ah, Miss Garland, so I see you are siding with them now."

The group faced Claudia as she stood at the end of the corridor. "I have certain obligations to our Lord, and one of them requires that I dispose of any traitors."

"Well, _technically_, I never really joined you guys… and if I said I wanted to it was for the booze." Lisa adopted a more serious countenance and added, "But I liked Alessa more than I liked you." She revealed two katana and handed one to Heather, who unsheathed the blade.

"Just get out of the way, Claudia! We don't have time to play around with you!" The priestess only laughed.

"If you are going to kill me, then do it. Our Lord's plan is already in motion; it is impossible to stop it. God herself has blessed our Lord, but she has also blessed you. I cannot understand why you will not accept that."

Heather shook her head quickly. "I'm not going to bother explaining it to you! You wouldn't understand!"

Claudia bowed her head solemnly, letting out a wistful sigh. "…I think I would, actually… for Heaven is not what you would think it would be…" The whole place began to rumble violently, so much that pieces of the ceiling and walls started to rain down.

"W-What's going, going on?" Jasper shouted, his voice reverberating throughout the hallways and corridors nearby. A segment of the nearest wall collapsed, and the floor seemed to lean towards it; Mary uttered a scream and fell through it.

"Mary!" Heather yelled while holding herself in position.

"It has begun," said Claudia, "it has finally begun." From above her a slab of stone dislodged itself and came down to crush her.

The structure ceased its erratic motions and calmed. Cynthia peered into the hole Mary had fallen through. "It looks pretty deep."

Heather approached the giant piece of debris that had squished Claudia and stared at it. "Dammit…" she muttered, "I never got the chance to kill her myself!"

Lisa gazed at it as well. "It's the Lord. He has the ability to bring the dead back to life, and he's done it on so large a scale. He hoped the dead would distract the only people who could stop him, but in the end they were nothing but tools to him. He would've have eventually destroyed them had they not died." She sighed.

"Just look at what became of Claudia… some of them have the memories of their death; some don't."

"Who could play around… _with lives_ like that? It's… just wrong…" Heather said.

"He'll keep doing it as long as he has the chance to attain infinite power. He has to be stopped. Come on!" And so they raced down the corridor and further into the tower.

---

Walter woke up in a white room. He rubbed his head and got to his feet slowly, finding himself facing a wall completely covered with mini-television monitors. To his right was the same, and to his left was the same. He did and about-face and saw that the farther wall was the same too, and in the center of the room, there was a white, pod-like chair.

"You've done well to make it this far," came a voice. Walter watched as the chair gradually rotated around, revealing an all-too-familiar face sitting in it.

"_You_!" the blond cried, slamming a finger in his direction. "You're that blasted hobo that went off with my coat the other day! I'll kill you!"

The hobo just continued stroking the cat that he held in his arms. "I did that to see if you could survive on your own merits, to see if you could make it without using the coat's power. Did you not notice the extreme leap of your abilities upon donning the coat again?"

Walter scratched his chin confusedly. "Wait-you've been testing me?"

"Yes, and you have proved me right about your utter incompetence. I even bothered to dry-clean it and get rid of those horrendous blood stains, and then look what you do; you get it all bloody again!"

"Sorry…" Walter said while looking around at the numerous monitors. "So where are we anyway?"

"We are currently residing in a small shack on the outskirts of Silent Hill, obviously. Did you not pay any attention when Alessa dragged you in?"

"Err, I was unconscious… and Alessa? I thought she was dead."

"Well, she is, but you can never find quality help these days so I decided to clone her. The true Alessa is in God-forsaken tower, right in the Lord's grasp…" The hobo sighed and put the cat down on the floor, and it scurried away through the now-open door in the back of the room. Out of that doorway came the clone of Alessa Gillespie, who was holding a china tray adorned with several cups and a kettle.

"Sir, your tea is ready."

"Oh good, good! Bring it here, girl, in my old age I can hardly move about." She glided over to his side and poured him a nice, steaming cup of tea, which he sipped at greedily. "Would you like some, Walter?"

"Uh, sure," he answered, and Alessa moved her to him and poured his cup.

"Here you go, Walter," she said while handing it to him.

"Thank you."

The hobo reached in a pocket and brought out a maroon-colored pen; he clicked its tip and an identical white, pod-like chair materialized under Walter; he plopped down on it.

"So, okay, what are all these TVs for?"

"Oh, well, I've been watching you, Walter, as I told you before. I had to keep an eye on all aspects of your life. Plus, I like to watch a lot of television."

Walter glanced at Alessa, who had taken up a position behind the hobo's chair, and then looked back at the hobo. "Wait a minute, just who _are_ you?"

The hobo laughed but stopped short and threw the pen at Walter. "Imbecile! Do you not know who your own father is?"

Walter stared at him curiously. "Father? You can't be my father!"

"Well, technically I'm not," said the hobo while he leaned back in the chair, "but it was my seed that was used to impregnate your mother. I… replaced it with that of your actual father."

"That…. is odd."

"Yes, anyway, I am the angel known as Metatron."

Upon hearing this Walter spat out his tea and stared at the hobo in awe. "Metatron? Impossible! The priests at Wish House said you didn't exist!"

"And you listened to those pixie-dust smoking fools? They're full of that type of trash. I am as real as you are, my boy, and that leads me to another thing: your purpose."

"Excuse me?"

"I created you for the sole purpose of defeating the Lord, Walter. At the time, the Lord's plans were progressing quite steadily. It was only a matter of how long before he began the systematic destruction of The Order, and the final phase of his plan. You were the key to both things; to force him to show himself, The Order had to be laid to waste, and that would make him vulnerable."

Walter sat back and studied his palm. "…That's a lot to take in. So you're saying I was created to kill the Lord?"

"Yes. The only other that has the ability to is the Holy Mother, but her power is latent; she couldn't fully eliminate him, and… I suppose in a way, you cannot either."

"But hold on, aren't you all-powerful? Couldn't you just kill him yourself?"

"No-the Lord has become much too powerful. He is immortal now, and no one can kill him, I'm afraid. Unless, perhaps, if he allows himself to be killed…" Metatron shook his head and gestured towards the back of the room.

"You must be on your way, Walter; your allies will require your help." He got up and stretched. "Alessa, dear, please take him to the storage so he can better equip himself."

"Of course, sir." She smiled at Walter. "This way." He followed her and she led him through another doorway that opened up to a vast, entirely white room.

Walter gasped as rows of weaponry suddenly shot by at amazing speeds, seemingly from nowhere. They stopped, and a great big grin formed on his face.

"Holy moley… look at all this! Is it all mine?"

Alessa half-nodded and replied, "Whatever you can carry is yours."

"Awesome!" He began to greedily take pistols and SMGs. Alessa stole her own few weapons, which were only a shotgun and a rifle; she slung the latter over her shoulder. Walter glanced at her as he stuffed most of the firearms into his coat. "Why are you getting some?"

"Because she will be helping you, Walter," answered Metatron as he entered the white abyss of guns. "We don't want a repeat of what happened last time you went into the tower, do we?"

"…No."

"Well, then, best that you two be on your way."

**w00t!1!11 Metatron, yo!**

Leon holstered his gun and walked out into the hall, looking around at his surroundings. Stained-glass windows were crafted within the outer wall to his right, and directly ahead of him was something very out-of-place: a vending machine.

"What's this doing here?" he thought aloud. He walked up to it and folded his arms. Monkeys. Behind the glass panel were stuffed monkeys, the kind with those black buttons for eyes and the fake smiles. Leon stared at them for a long while. 'That's pretty freaky… they're all staring at me…'

A bullet suddenly grazed his shoulder, and he spun around to see that a group of demon nurses had entered the hallway from the opposite entrance. They were each carrying a gun.

Leon glanced back at that bullet that had now lodged itself in the wall. "Shit, I've got to be more careful." He turned back to the nurses and readied his handgun. "Okay, you punks, let's see what you've got."

He sprinted towards them, shooting down two and rolling away from several shots. Behind him more nurses came in, and soon they had efficiently surrounded him, all of them having either a melee weapon or a firearm. Leon was quick on his feet, though, downing more and more as he strafed and moved around, avoiding most of the attacks. He fired out the rest of his clip and tried to reload, ducking under a swing as he did so.

He shot at three, successfully taking them out with perfect headshots. Leon executed a wide kick and twirled around to the back of a closer nurse, head locking it and grabbing its gun. More flashes of white and red, and more nurses fell. He pushed the captive nurse into its companions, knocking them down. He brought down three more and out flew his knife, and in that same motion he whipped around and sliced the throat of an attacking nurse behind him.

Leon emptied out his clip and he watched as the ever-growing number of nurses closed the distance around him. "Shit, I don't have enough time to reload…" Thinking fast he threw himself through them to his right, tackling a good amount down. He dashed away and fished out a grenade from his jacket. He clamped his teeth down on the pin and yelled, "Get 'er done!" before trying to yank the pin out… and screaming out in pain.

"…Ah, that hurt!" He looked back at the nurses and sighed. "Fine." He dislodged the pin and sent the grenade flying into the mob, and after a few seconds it exploded, laying waste to a good number of the nurses. Leon loaded his handgun with his last clip and cursed. He spotted the door he had came in from and raced for it, but a stray nurse swung at him with a pipe. A prompt suddenly flashed in front of his eyes.

**GET READY!**

"What the hell?" he muttered as more flashes appeared before his eyes, in the form of a 'Simon Says' display. The nurse popped him one in the head.

**FAILED!**

"What was that?" he demanded, regaining his balance from the blow. The nurses attempted again, and Leon avoided this one, but the prompt reappeared.

**GET READY!**

"Shoot!" he cried as the nurse attacked once more, but Leon moved with the flashes and came up behind the nurse and broke its neck.

**GREAT!**

'…That was weird…' he thought while somersaulting backwards to dodge a simultaneous swing by two nurses. He started to the door again, blasting enemies out of the way, but a nurse stepped before him, toting a shotgun. "Great!" Leon yelped sarcastically as he slid on his knees out of the way of the shot as it mowed through some nurses and blew out the glass panel of the vending machine.

He saw the stuffed animals out of the corner of his eye. '_The monkeys_!' In a flash he was on his feet and running to the vending machine. He shot any nurses that were in the way and was quickly out of bullets. He was nearly there when Leon heard the preparation of the shotgun, so he ejected himself forward while spinning around and flinging his knife at the shotgun nurse; the blade landed squarely in the space that would be between the nurse's eyes.

Leon landed on his back in front of the vending machine, and he tore one of the monkeys from its place in one of the rows. "Stay back!" he exclaimed while waving the monkey around before him defensively. 'Wait a second… why am I using a stuffed monkey? It's not like it can help me…'

Leon looked from the monkey to the nurses, and then to the monkey, and then to the nurses, and then to the monkey, and finally to the nurses. "Shit."

Then, without warning, one of the stained-glass windows exploded inwards, and a motorcycle carrying Walter and Alessa flew through. Both of them(dressed in black leather and wearing sunglasses) got off. Walter waved at Leon. "Hey!"

Leon returned the gesture. "Uh, what's going on?" He stared at them for a bit, as did the nurses. "Do you guys think you're Neo and Trinity or something?"

The two exchanged glances. "No," said Walter.

"Okay."

One of the nurses nudged another and let out a series of gurgles, which roughly translate, "Why are they dressed like that?"

"I would not know, but I would presume they are trying to pose as daunting to us and somehow deter our attack."

"Ah, your logic never ceases to amaze me, my friend."

Walter took off his sunglasses and placed them in a pocket. He ripped out two Sub-Machine guns and nodded at Leon. "You needed some help?"

"Yeah."

"Cool." Walter then began shooting through the hordes of nurses, and Alessa began pounding them with repeated blasts from her shotgun. Walter twisted around the slow, cumbersome nurses and emptied out his weapons, throwing them to the sides before slipping out dual revolvers. He leapt over them and delivered several clean, perfect headshots.

Alessa was meanwhile taking out nurses with deadly melee moves, having run out of ammo for her shotgun. She downed several more nurses before arming her rifle. With little effort she pulled the trigger and withstood the aftershock as the explosive round blew through the nurses.

Leon watched this all in awe, but he furrowed his brow at them. 'Matrix fanboys.' He sighed and walked over to the shotgun nurse and took the gun. He then waited, and soon enough all of the nurses had been slain.

"Good job, I guess," he said, moving towards the exiting door. Walter disposed of the revolvers and removed a pistol from his leather coat, which he threw off to reveal his actual coat and clothing. Alessa however, only got rid of her sunglasses.

They traveled into a narrow corridor, with an elevator at the very end of it. Alessa took off before them, and left Leon and Walter to follow. As they walked, the agent leaned closer to Walter and whispered, "Who's the girl? Pretty slick, I have to say." He smirked and added, "I'd tap it."

Walter frowned embarrassedly. "Um, it's something of a long story. I'll tell you later."

"Sure, whatever." The three entered the elevator.

---

Henry descended a series of catwalks, grimacing down at the vast, complex network of pipes and grating that composed the tower's core. Fumes rose from the bed of magma that lay around the core boiler, a massive, metallic construction sitting at the very bottom. Henry grew impatient and jumped down the amazing distance and landed right in front of the mechanism. Before him, Eileen and Child Walter were unconscious on the ground.

Henry wiped some sweat from his brow as he looked at them. "Eileen, little Walter! What are _you_ guys doing here? Did you come with Walter?" Eileen slowly stirred, yawning loudly. She rubbed her eyes and stared at Henry sheepishly.

"Hey, Henry, what are you doing?"

"Uh, listen, Eileen, have you seen James around here?"

"Nope, haven't seen James since he ran off…" she yawned, "but what's the deal, Henry?" She stood and screwed her eyes up. The brunette glared daggers at him. "Why did you betray us? Everyone's suffering because of your selfishness!"

Henry shook his head. "_Selfishness_? No, Eileen, I'm doing this for everyone! _For us_! We won't have to deal with the troubles of our mortal lives! We can be happy for the rest of our lives, and we can have all the pudding we want! We'll have no more worries!"

"But that's not what I want, Henry!" she screamed. "I don't want a happy life, or pudding! I want _you_, Henry! No, I _need_ you!" She embraced him, tears in her eyes. "Just stop this Henry! Please! I love you!"

He stared at her for awhile, his eyes cold and unforgiving. "…Don't want pudding…?" he murmured, backing away. "They did this to you, didn't they?" he said, suddenly furious. "Walter, James, Leon! They put you up to this!"

"No, _Henry_…!" Eileen gasped, feeling her throat as she felt an alien pressure clamping around it. Henry extended his hand and ground his teeth. Her eyes met his, truly terrified, when another voice sounded.

"Henry, stop!" He released Eileen and she collapsed to the ground, unconscious. He turned to face James, who stepped onto the metal platform.

"You turned her against me!" accused the brunet, overwhelmed with anger.

"You did that yourself, Henry!" James exclaimed, and Henry spat at the ground.

"You and the others are always getting in the way! You're here to shut down the core, aren't you? Well, I'm not going to let you!"

"Didn't think so," said James. "Pyramid Head had said the Lord would send someone, but I never thought it would be you."

Henry chuckled. "I've become more powerful than you could imagine James! You can't hope to defeat me!"

"I don't have to beat you. All I have to do is shut down that core!"

"Hmm. Think you can do it?" taunted Henry as he drew his Steel Pipe.

"I guess we'll just have to see," replied James as he brought out his own pipe. They faced each other, Henry snorting.

"There's still a chance for you to join us, James. Just give up."

"Sorry," James said, "but I would never join someone who throws away lives as if they were insignificant. What the Lord is doing is immoral, and I won't let him continue!"

Henry closed his eyes and sighed. "…Then if you are not with me… you are against me!" He leapt towards him and their pipes met, both of them parrying each other's attacks and moves. James swiftly avoided a barrage of stabs and tried a swipe, but Henry was of course faster and connected two blows: one to the chest and the other to James' temple. Henry forced him against a wall with his powers and fired Force Lightning at him. James dived out of the way and ran into a small room.

Henry fired another wave at him, but he ducked and allowed the blast to course through the wall. Henry dashed to him and they locked pipes, with Henry overwhelming James and forcing him back onto a catwalk. He began to attack James fiercely, forcing him back up the catwalk. James waddled forward quickly at the top of the catwalk, pushing Henry back and knocking his pipe away.

The brunet roared and fired successive blasts of energy at him, but James leaped down onto a narrow pipe that spanned a wide expanse of the magma lake. Henry willed his pipe back to him and took hold of it, while James nervously held his pipe out before him.

Henry slowly neared him, taking short baby-steps. James took shot baby-steps back. Henry cried out and lunged at him, pushing him over the pipe; James quickly caught hold of a cord and swung himself back up with all his strength onto another platform, but Henry was already there waiting for him.

He struck at James again, and the other met the attack with one of his own, and the two dueled shortly upon the platform, when suddenly a jet of flame rose and consumed half of the large metal plate. The two adversaries exchanged second-fast, nervous glances, before they jumped onto a walkway surrounding a great column. Henry resumed the offensive and fought James, both of them moving upwards the column. Henry slashed him down and jammed the pipe at his head, but James rolled away and kicked Henry off of the steel walkway.

Henry willed a cord to him and he swung to safety. James scowled and, thinking quickly, leapt from the walkway and grabbed onto a cord himself. Both of them swung towards each other and let go, meeting in midair. Their pipes connected, and they grasped the opposite cord as they fell; they turned around and were at it again, however, Henry, with the added height, fired a Force lightning wave that incinerated the cord. James fell but miraculously landed on a strip of rotating gears.

Henry generated a large mass of energy and let it fly towards James, who hastily raced forward as the strip is obliterated.

The brunet met the dirty-blond as they clashed on the next platform, which gradually turned. They assaulted each other quickly before Henry blew apart the platform and chased James onto a series of connected islands over the magma. They dueled for several more moments before they both jumped upon extremely small portions of metal as the magma flowed forward to an unknown destination.

"I… don't want to fight you, Henry! Please, I beg you to stop!" James pleaded while Henry watched him with chilly eyes from his own place on the magma lake.

"No, James," Henry replied. "We must finish this."

James shook his head and quickly moved to a stationary mound higher up. "Henry, come on, stop! I have the high ground!"

Henry glared at him. "You underestimate me, James. I'll show you that I am all-powerful!" He flew towards him and attacked, but James countered this and delivered a strong hit to Henry's head. The brunet sailed over him and landed some distance away, writhing on the ground. James approached him.

"Henry…"

"…Dammit!" hissed Henry as he got to his feet. "_Why_? I… don't want to fight you, James, but…"

"Henry, let me go. I have to end this."

James traveled over to the location where their battle had begun. He looked up at the great contraption when he saw the Dog sitting atop it. "You!"

"So it seems not even Henry could stop you… I suppose he was correct in presuming you would be a threat. You are truly dangerous," the Dog stated while looking down at Eileen's body. "It seems the child has escaped. How unfortunate."

James reaffirmed his grip on his Steel Pipe and jabbed it towards the Dog. "What do you want?"

"Well, it's not as if I can just allow you to destroy the core of the towers. All our plans would be ruined."

"_You're working with the Lord_?"

"Why, yes. Our goals are the same, but I am no subordinate of his. We are equal in power, for I am the Incubus, the Yellow God, Losbel Vith!"

"Losbel… Vith…?" muttered James as bright, golden energy began to circulate around the Dog.

"You have been quite the annoyance, James, and I believe now would be the perfect time to dispose of you permanently." The Dog got on all fours and unleashed the stream of intense energy at James, who stared, dumbfounded, at it. However, before it could reach and destroy him, a separate blast of lightning intercepted it.

James looked back and the Dog giggled lightly in an evil manner as Henry walked up to them, his head bowed and his voice low. "…I think I get it now," he said, looking up at the Dog. "James has been through so much now, but he's been strong the whole way through. I, on the other hand, just hid my true feelings under mass amounts of pudding. And even then, I was so blind that I joined your ranks, but I know now… You and the Lord… you're all insane, and what you're doing is endangering people's lives!"

Henry threw off his cloak, and the 'Halo of the Sun' vanished from his forehead. He drew his pipe, and the Dog seemed mildly bemused.

"…I see. I was quite aware you were a liability, but the Lord was much too preoccupied to bother noticing. It seems I have no choice… if you would choose to challenge the power of God, then you beckon forth its wrath!"

The place shook violently, and a magnificent aura surrounded the Dog. It was engulfed by the light, and Henry and James readied themselves.


	19. Episode XIX

_We are sorry to interrupt—_

…

_Hi there everybody, thanks for tuning in! Welcome to another exciting edition of "Trick or Treat"!_

_Our first question is… _

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XIX**

The elevator was dreadfully cramped, but thankfully the ride was short, especially because of the irritating tune that was floating in from a speaker above their heads. Leon watched as the dial over the door moved speedily from the left to the right, and it reached the end with a satisfying _ding_.

"Looks like we're here!" he said with dry enthusiasm as the door slid open and presented them with an exit. They stepped out and admired the chamber they were in now.

It was undeniably huge and dome-shaped; the floor was a waxy gold, with small circles grooving into the ground within it. Tiny windows were carved through the stone walls, allowing equally tiny shafts of light to enter. It was oddly spooky.

"This whole room must take up an entire floor of this crazy tower," Leon said. His voice echoed throughout the room and repeated itself several times before dying out. Walter nodded in agreement.

"I don't understand why that would be, though."

"You have a point."

Alessa said nothing but shouldered the sniper rifle and removed two automatic pistols from her leather coat. "We have company." The other two looked ahead and saw Valtiel walk out onto the other end of the room. He smiled warmly at them from afar.

"Welcome," he called to them, extending his arms outward, "We have been expecting you, although it seems you were separated from your compatriots." His voice was much too gleeful.

"That's exactly what you want, right?" Leon asked. "A typical tactic; you split us up and take us out one-at-a-time, instead of dealing with us together."

"Yes. We are not prepared to take chances with foes such… as _dangerous_ as you." Valtiel cleared his throat and sighed. "Nevertheless, here we are. The time has almost come for our Lord to complete our plan. All he needs to do is capture the Holy Mother and extract the necessary component from her to be able to absorb the power of God into himself. Then we shall be great, and we shall rule all existence! Nothing will be capable of stopping us!"

"…Unless we stop you now," Walter stated as he drew his dual revolvers. Valtiel laughed and snapped a finger.

"Of course."

Out of thin air appeared a squad of Missionaries and Scrapers. The monsters surrounded them, and the three grouped together back-to-back. "Show me if you are worthy to face us."

One of the Missionaries lunged forward; Walter hopped back, spun around, and shot it twice in the face. Its head gushed blood and it fell, dead. There was a pause, and then all the creatures attacked them.

Alessa dodged several quick swipes before blasting three of them square in the head, while behind her Leon blew a group away with his stolen shotgun. Walter jumped away and shot at two, slowing them down but not stopping them. Behind him a Scraper slashed him in the back, drawing blood. Hardly wincing, he turned and fired at it. Valtiel watched them with amusement.

Leon used up his last shell and resorted to using the gun as a club. He slammed it into the head of a Missionary, but another slashed it in half. "Holy shit," he mumbled, backing away as it threatened to strike him again. Fortunately, Alessa saw this and threw a handgun at him.

"Catch!" she yelled, and he barely did as the demon attacked.

Screaming the whole time Leon managed to gun it down with a series of five bullets, leaving only a handful left. He stared at the corpse. 'Damn close call…'

Walter himself ran out of bullets, but took out one more Scraper by plunging his fist through it. A few more advanced and backed him up against it. Just before they could attack, though, Alessa shot them down. She smiled sweetly at him before blasting another head off and getting its blood splattered across her face.

But that was the last one.

"Bravo, I must say," Valtiel said, clapping his hands mockingly. "I was sure they would be easy prey for you, in any case. Now comes the true question: is it possible for you to defeat _me_?"

"We can try," Walter answered as Alessa helped him to his feet.

"You _can_ try…" said Valtiel, "but I am the Red God, Xuchilbara! I have yet to show you my true power. Besides…" his eyes wandered over their guns, "you have run yourselves out of ammunition."

"I don't think so," Alessa stated as she brought her rifle up and fired it. Valtiel leapt out of the way as a good chunk of the wall was blown off. The demon smirked slyly.

"What good will such a slow, cumbersome-," He was cut short when a grenade flew past Walter and Alessa and landed beside Valtiel. He was caught in the sudden explosion.

"I got him!" cried Leon triumphantly, but Walter only shushed him.

"No, that didn't get him."

The smoke cleared, and not even the faintest sign of the Red God was present. The three of them tensed. Alessa slowly turned the rifle around, as if she was following something that was invisible to Walter and Leon. Everything was quiet…

_Boom_!

The men whipped around to see Valtiel standing nearby, a gaping hole in his chest. He nodded approvingly at the weapon, which Alessa still had trained on him. Leon's head spun from the sniper rifle to Valtiel. "What are you waiting _for_?" he shouted, "_Blow him away_!"

"No," she said, easing up. "He let me get that shot in; he was testing its capabilities." Valtiel laughed.

"I take back what I meant to say—put in the right hands, anything can be used efficiently." With another laugh he sent a wave of force from his outstretched hand, catching her off-guard as she was hit and knocked away right into the wall. The rifle fell to the floor with a loud thud.

"Alessa!" Walter exclaimed, but he quickly brought his arms up to defend from Valtiel's sudden attack. He staggered back from the punch and then dashed at the demon, engaging him a short skirmish with their fists. Valtiel caught Walter's arm and threw him to the floor.

Leon gritted his teeth and rushed forward. He tried to kick the Lord's right-hand man in the jaw, but he was easily avoided and batted straight across the chamber, bashing his head on the intersection of the wall and ceiling and landing on the floor with an even louder thud than the rifle.

Alessa, meanwhile, was on her feet and running right at the demon. He avoided her swift moves and quickly grasped her throat with a hand that was lightning-fast. He threw her to the floor in that same instant and flipped around, kicking Walter across the hall. Valtiel adjusted his collar and approached the blond.

"I've been waiting quite awhile for this, Sullivan," said the demon as he knelt down beside his head. "The last time we met you managed to escape… and in the process you _humiliated_ me! To think, mere mortals defying us, _the gods_! You and your allies have lucky and that is all, for right now I shall kill you and prove that we are superior!"

But before he could blow Walter away, the former serial killer raised his head and left hand. "Valtiel, knock-knock."

The Red God stared down at him suspiciously. "This wouldn't happen to be one of those imbecilic human jokes, would it? Designed to remove me of my guard?"

"No, no, no—of course not! It's not a joke! Think of it as my last words, before you kill me."

"…Oh, alright, who's there?"

"Joe."

"…Joe _who_?"

"Jomamma!"

Valtiel narrowed his eyes in careful consideration of this, and after a moment he gasped. "_Wait_…!"

Walter wasted no time in bounding up and slamming his feet into Valtiel's chest, sending him straight into the opposite wall. He hit the stone so hard that it shook and debris and bits of rock fell upon him, bringing up a cloud of dust.

Walter dusted his coat off. "Blame Bob for that one," he said, and ran over to Leon, who was starting to stir just the slightest bit.

"Are you all right?" he asked, and the agent brought his head up and blinked at him.

"Yeah, I'm-,"

He didn't finish, as Walter was already over to Alessa's side and helping her up. Leon sighed and went over to them.

Valtiel exploded from the rubble and glared at the three with the utmost furious. "That is the _last_ time your foolish jokes get the better of me, Sullivan!" he screamed while conjuring a bright nimbus of white energy around his right hand. Leon glanced at Walter and Alessa.

"You guys wouldn't have a rocket launcher on hand, would you?"

"I do," said Alessa, and she hefted it. Leon elated.

"Great! Now, throw it somewhere so I can go get it and use it."

"Couldn't she just give it to you, like right here?" Walter asked.

"Not how it works, I'm afraid," Leon answered. "Walter, cover me."

"…Okay."

Alessa frowned and chucked it to the left, and Walter faced Valtiel. The Red God chortled and grinned at the blond. "I'll destroy you all, before you even get the chance to use it!"

"I don't think so!" Walter retorted, inhaling deeply and moving his hands to form a circle to his right side. "Ka… me… ha…"

Valtiel tittered insanely and prepared to heave the spasm of energy at them; no doubt it would expand and incinerate all three. Leon was almost to the rocket launcher.

'There's no time!' Walter yelled in his head, and looked up. "Enough! _Hadoken_!" He unleashed the wave of blue energy right as Valtiel shot his own energy attack, and they met in a magnificent explosion of light as Valtiel was forced back as the combined wave engulfed him.

"Leon, now!" Walter shouted, as the smoke cleared and Valtiel brushed a piece of ash-covered skin from his right cheek, revealing a ragged square of red, pulsing skin beneath. The American agent readied the rocket launcher and aimed at the Red God, whose suit was tattered and black and who had no idea what was coming. In fact, he only saw for a second the rocket as it flew at him and struck him, exploding and enshrouding them all in smoke.

Leon coughed shortly and appraised the now-empty launcher with his eyes. "Wow, I don't know where you guys got this, but I have _got_ to get myself one!"

Alessa walked over to the mess of crimson flesh that lay in ahead of them. "Is Valtiel dead?" she questioned, but Walter shook his head.

"I don't know, but I _do_ know that we can't stay here." He pointed at the door Valtiel had entered through. "We have to keep on and find the Lord. Once we take care of him, this nightmare can end."

"Oh, I think _not_, Sullivan!" cackled a voice darkly as Valtiel's remains slinked away to the edge of the room. A misty haze rose from the floor, and black grime surfaced upon the walls and floor.

"What's going on?" Leon asked Walter as the three back up together again. The blond grimaced at him.

"It's the power of the Other World sinking in—the power of someone's nightmarish delusions come to life in the worst possible, non-sexual way!"

"I take it that's bad?"

"You'd be right."

Leon sighed. "I really wish we still had that rocket launcher…"

The voice---a distorted, indistinct version of Valtiel's---sounded up again, deafening them. "Yes, Sullivan, the power of the Other World, the reality our great Lord created on a whim, and now you shall witness its awesome power!"

A huge, bony hand covered in loose, red flesh groped through the floor and reached out to them. Another hand followed suit, and then something that vaguely resembled a head began to push through the skin of the floor, as if gasping for air under a blanket of some kind.

"Get ready," said Walter as he fished around in his coat for something, and took out his Steel Pipe, returned to him by Metatron earlier. "The real battle starts now."

**Ooh… _suspenseful_… my arse… whatever… it's better than that stupid song…**

The yellow light that had entombed the Dog had begun to change into something, and the Dog itself disappeared entirely. Henry and James watched grimly with a certain kind of fascination. It was a colossus; giant and intimidating. A pair of white, sparkling wings spread out, and they covered an enormous girth. The being the Dog had metamorphosed into was completely black, and it was the black of shadows, not skin or anything like that. It had arms(which supported its bulk), but no lower body of any kind, and its head was bald without a mouth, nose, or ears. A single eye blinked at them; the eye was glossy and its pupil was a startling hue of orange with a small black pupil in the center. The eye was located slightly to the left, rather than in the center of the forehead.

Henry cleared his throat. "I can see why you take the form of a dog… but why not a human? I'm curious."

James glanced at him. "Henry, you're not acting like a, um, _idiot_," he said in surprise.

The brunet nodded. "The hangover's passed, so I'm fine now; I'm sure Eileen is as well."

Losbel Vith cocked its head to the left and replied to Henry's question in a surprisingly light voice that was totally different from its previous one. It was nearly female. "The dog is a creature much less tainted than the human being, and it lives only by its instinct and intuition. A human, however, carries so many conflicting emotions and ideals, and it becomes a hollow shell of what is born as. I despise such weakness and deformation. Only at its purest is something at its strongest."

"But humans aren't evil, at least not all of them!" James exclaimed. "We may have the capacity to do horrible things, but all of us don't do those things!"

Losbel Vith laughed hollowly. "What of it? You are no exception; in any case, James Sunderland… what you did to your wife is unforgivable."

James lips pressed together in a thin line, and he stared up at the eye with a fiery hate that suddenly burned within his heart. "…You leave Mary out of this…"

The Yellow God motioned toward him with a hand. "Why should I? Was it her fault that she was stricken with the disease? She had nothing to do with it at all. You are the one who hated her, just as you hate me now, with that same black _fury_, that feeling that urged you on to remove her _filth_ from your eyes."

"…Be quiet…" James muttered, grounding his teeth and holding his pipe high. "_Be quiet_!" He lunged at the Yellow God, and it pointed its right index finger at him, following him as he neared it.

"It is that _hate_ that spurs you on now, to strike me down with that flimsy piece of metal you call a weapon. As long as that hate fills you…" A yellow light lit an inch away from the tip of the finger, and formed a sphere. "…you shall never be capable of defeating me."

The yellow energy shot out in a beam, and James had just enough time to roll out of the way. The beam sliced through the ground, and a second later it exploded, burning away the metal and grating. The magma lapped at the surrounding metal and ate away at it. Henry watched nervously as the finger trained on him now.

"What of you, Henry Townshend? Think, now, for humans are also weak creatures. They cannot defend themselves, and they cannot defend others, and most importantly, they can not resist temptation, the feeling to return to their source, and with this watchful eye I shall burn your slim chances of retribution and throw you into chaos."

"No…" Henry said. "It was beyond my power to protect them!"

"Exactly." Another sphere formed, and another beam shot out. Henry leapt out of its path and it obliterated the bulk of steel behind him. He landed and raced towards James, who was taking cover behind a ragged wall of steel.

"James, move!" The dirty-blond ran away as the wall dissolved in a flash of canary-colored light.

"Run, then, James Sunderland and Henry Townshend… run for the sake of those you have failed."

They dashed behind a large piece of stationary iron and Henry stole a glance back at Losbel Vith; it was crawling towards them, not taking the easy route and firing at every possible location.

"It's taking its time… but we might be able to take advantage of that."

"How so?" James asked, and Henry pointed at a hanging chain above them. If you can distract it, I can attack it from above. It's big, so it's an easy target."

James sighed deeply. "Alright. Be careful."

"You too," said Henry, and he began to climb up the bulk. James walked out into the open and looked up Losbel Vith's one eye.

"We're not running away," he stated boldly, but his voice was just the slightest bit shaky.

"As it should be," the Yellow God answered, and it fired another blast of yellow light. James stepped to the side and began to run at it, the finger aiming efficiently. James was hopping this way and that, avoiding each ray as they burned past him. He plunged forward to try and attack, but without him even knowing it he was suddenly swept up in one of Losbel Vith's hands. It tightened its grip on him and he cried out, feeling his bones being crushed and his body being crumpled into a narrow line.

James forced his arms up and stabbed his pipe into its hand, sending shadows this way and that. The hand dropped him and swatted him away, and he hit the ground some distance away, leaving the pipe behind to roll a little on the metal.

Henry saw this from above them, and he noticed the Yellow God's attention was diverted for a moment. Nodding a bit he raced forward and grasped the chain, unhinging it. He swung towards the god and let go, jamming his pipe through the tip of its wing. Losbel Vith reached towards him with uncanny speed, and he suddenly saw that the eye was on the _back_ of the head, staring at him. 'It moved around!' Henry thought as the hand neared him. He jumped quickly onto the hand, stabbing it as well.

"_Henry Townshend_!" bellowed Losbel Vith as it waved him around to its other side; he dropped and forced his pipe into its main body, sliding down and leaving a small valley of ripped shadows upon it, reaching down from its shoulder to its base. Henry landed hard on his feet, barely dodging the hand as it slammed down, almost squashing him flat. He jumped back and grabbed James' Steel Pipe.

"James! Come on, get up!" James shook and got to his feet, watching as Henry was unaware of the fast hand that knocked him back into the bulk they had been hiding behind. Henry cried out, but still retained his grasp on James' pipe. "James!" He hurled it at him, and he caught it as the brunet got up.

"You are tricky," Losbel Vith said amusingly, "however you are foolish. You had the chance to run… but now you have only the promise of death!" The right arm lunged forward had frightening speed. Henry and James strafed to opposite sides, the hand missing them by a hair as it blew through the platform and split in half.

All of a sudden a barrage of blasts assaulted them, blowing away chunks of iron and metal into the magma. James teetered on the edge of the portion he was standing on after the piece directly next to it had disintegrated. Henry ground his teeth and tried to move, but a hand blocked his way and swept the ground, knocking them both away.

Losbel Vith ambled towards them slowly, laughing an eerie laugh. "Fools… prepare yourselves…"

"I don't think so!"

The eye rotated around and saw Eileen Galvin standing atop a high pole of metal, a submachine gun in her hands. "Take this you rotten piece of shit!"

Henry gulped. "I guess she isn't _exactly_ sober…"

Eileen let the gun loose and a never-ending stream of bullets ran through the Yellow God's head and body and wings. An unholy screech erupted from seemingly nowhere and Losbel Vith swung at her. "Eileen!" Henry screamed, and he ran forward to catch her as the giant hand smashed through the network of pipes and grating and sent her falling.

Henry leapt and caught her, managing to land on a small island over the magma. James dashed to them, wary of the Yellow God as its eye swerved over to him. It raised a hand and went for him. James dove, praying that he would make it, but he felt the shadows swirl around him a second time and he was yanked upwards. It didn't stop though, and he saw the hand raising to the god's head, where a gaping hole started to widen from the darkness, only to lead deeper into it.

'It's going to eat me!' James cried in his mind, but Henry held his pipe at the ready.

"James, here!" He threw the pipe like a javelin, and it pierced the shadow; James made to grab it, and he did. With both pipes be stabbed at its wrist, but it did not flinch as James saw the mouth just seconds away… but he saw the eye.

With newfound determination he brought his pipe up and hefted it sideways. "This…" he said, while preparing to plunge it into the eye while the mouth widened even more and was nearly around him, "_is for Mary_!" The Steel Pipe slid right through the pupil, and immediately the hand dissipated in a flash. He fell, watching all the while as Losbel Vith clawed at its head, tearing its own body apart. It leaned back and collapsed into the magma, an arm thrashing the core mechanism, almost smashing it into pieces.

Henry, with Eileen still in his arms, jumped back to the main island, flashing James and Eileen a smile. "Henry…" she said, eyes gleaming, and cupped his face.

"Eileen…" he said, his eyes also gleaming. He put her back on her feet and they embraced. She stepped away, smiling, but that smile quickly turned into a scowl as she socked him across the face. He reeled back, in shock.

"What was _that_ for?"

"For being a jackass! I swear, after we get out of here I'm putting you in rehabilitation! This pudding obsession is unhealthy!"

"But, but Eileen…!"

"No "buts", Henry!"

The brunet whimpered in defeat, but smiled. "You're going in too, right? We-We can get through this together!"

Eileen furrowed her brow. "…No I'm not. I mean, why should I? I'm not the one chasing after people to murder them just because they got my pudding, am I?"

"That's not exactly true," said James. "There was that deal with Maria, you know."

Upon hearing the name Eileen's face contained so much hate that Losbel Vith would have applauded her. "…Don't you _ever_ speak that name around me _again_. That _slut_ deserves nothing less than the most horrible death imaginable! I _say_-,"

Suddenly, the whole structure shook and the fractured core spout out flame and smoke. Its supports gave way and it slipped into the magma, melting almost instantly. James frowned.

"Pyramid Head told me that once the core was destroyed the tower would fall soon after… I don't know how long after, but we should be on our way, right now!"

"Alright then," Henry said, "let's get going!"

---

Xuchilbara's head rose from its own flesh, which had now become the floor. The ceiling now had a gigantic fan spinning in it, the fan covered only by steel grating. The head had no eyes or mouth, but the voice boomed from everywhere.

"_Sullivan_! You disgrace me no more! _Your death is now_!"

Another hand sprouted behind them and Walter, Leon, and Alessa scattered to avoid it as it hit the floor and dissolved back into it. Alessa reached into her jacket and whipped out a .44 magnum. Leon glanced at it. "Why didn't you use that before?" he inquired.

"I was saving it," she responded, and spun around to destroy a hand as it rose to swallow her. Leon sighed and rolled out of the way of a hand and fished around a jacket.

"Come on, I know I have some more grenades…" he murmured while finally taking one out. "Alright!" A tendril slapped him across the floor though, and he dropped the grenade, smacking the pin off.

Alessa noticed. "Clear away!" she yelled, and after two more seconds the grenade exploded, leaving a burnt hole in the fleshy floor. Walter looked at it for a moment before whacking a tendril down as it tried to attack him.

Smaller versions of Valtiel's body rose from the floor, composed of that fleshy substance. They rushed at Walter, moving with the skin. Walter bashed several in, but more continued to pop up.

Alessa meanwhile was pistol-whipping most of them, and she kicked through a few more. One of them latched onto her shoulders, but she broke off from it and slammed her elbow into its head, caving it in. She blew away two more clones as Leon took care of a group with quick kicks and punches.

Walter stabbed another clone and jerked the pipe out, in the same motion decapitating a second. He flipped away from one that rose before him and swung at it, knocking its upper half off in a clean stroke. The three slowly regrouped in the center of the chamber, a great number of clones trapping them.

"There's too many," Leon stated. "We can't keep fighting them all forever. We'll die from fatigue!"

"All we have to do is destroy Xuchilbara's head and they'll all die; this room _is_ essentially him now," Walter informed them, and Alessa nodded in agreement.

The voice scoffed at this, laughing heartily. "Try, Sullivan. I shall allow you that much."

"How generous of you," replied Walter icily, and the three mowed forward, tearing through the clones. Walter started to sprint toward the Red God's exposed head. "Cover me guys!" he shouted as he raised the pipe over his head. The two main hands flew down to stop him, but Alessa was faster, and she pulled the trigger of her magnum twice in rapid succession; the hands were obliterated in midair. She made to reload then, having emptied out the gun's chambers. Walter jumped forward and made to jam his pipe into Xuchilbara's forehead, but a hand formed from the floor and smacked Walter, sending him flying to the other side of the room.

Leon quickly fished out his last grenade and suddenly kissed it. 'Thank _God_ I packed this one!'

Alessa stopped reloading midway, though, as a mass of flesh sprang up around her. "…No!" she cried, the flesh encasing her. Leon saw this and gasped, turning to Walter as the blond was almost trapped himself, but he slashed through the skin and stood up.

"Walter, catch!" Leon yelled as he threw the grenade, just as he himself was imprisoned. Walter watched in horror as Leon and Alessa's bodies began to shrink away into the floor. He turned to the Red God, whose voice chortled around him.

"Kill me, Sullivan, and you kill your friends, and once I have absorbed them completely they shall become a part of me! It is over, _you have lost_!"

The blond gritted his teeth. "I think _not_."

He ran once more at Xuchilbara, going as fast as he could. Tendrils and hands came from behind and around him, but Walter paid them no heed. He glanced back and saw that Alessa and Leon were nearly integrated into the floor. A few more seconds and all hope would be lost. With a cry Walter jumped onto the head and speared his pipe into the lower portion of the head and hurled the grenade into the hole, having removed the pin the second before. He jerked his pipe back and somersaulted off.

"_What_?" the Red God screamed, and Walter chuckled.

"Farewell… _Valtiel_."

"Curse you, Sullivan! _Curse you_…!"

A muffled explosion sounded, and the head suddenly imploded, fire and blood and crimson meat flying out in all directions. The flesh of the floor, walls, and ceiling gradually rotted away, turning black and stale. It dissolved and floated away in a smoke of some sort, and Leon and Alessa were revealed after the flesh of the floor burned away, leaving nothing but patches of grating.

Leon blinked, slowly standing. He looked at Walter and Walter looked back as he approached Alessa. "Alessa," he said, shaking her gently. "Hey, Alessa, are you all right?"

"…Yes, I'm fine," she replied groggily while opening her eyes to him and sitting up. "What… What was that?"

"Xuchilbara tried to absorb you two; I barely saved you."

"But you saved us nonetheless," Leon said, "even if it was pretty close."

The former serial killer smiled and nodded when the chamber trembled horribly. Skin and debris fell and Walter looked back toward the elevator. "What was _that_?"

"I don't know," Leon replied, "but it feels like this whole place is about to crumble!"

"It must be the core," Alessa said. She stood and looked at them both. "The core must have been destroyed while we were in battle. If the core is disposed of… the tower will fall! We must escape!"

"But what about the Lord?" Walter demanded. "We can't just let him go when we have the chance to stop him!"

"There isn't enough time!" Alessa exclaimed when a boulder suddenly fell and blocked the way to the elevator.

"Great, _now what_?" Leon said.

Walter motioned toward the other entrance to the room. "That's the only way, then!" He turned back to them. "Let's go, and quickly, before we're caught in this place when it falls!"

---

Heather, Douglas, Lisa, Jasper, and Cynthia entered a great hallway that was painted entirely black. A staircase rose up to another hallway, and Lisa pointed at it. "That's the way to the Lord's chamber. We must hurry!"

Heather reaffirmed her grip of the katana's sheath as it hung at her side. "The Lord… he's the one behind all of this crap, right? If we take care of him… this whole, complicated mess will be over… right?"

Lisa nodded impatiently. "Yes, yes, I told you that already! Now _come on_! I'm _really_ horny right now, and I can't control it anymore!" She darted off up the stairs, and Heather sighed.

"Something doesn't feel right, Douglas. Something about this is just… _wrong_."

"I know," said the detective grimly, "But nothing is ever right here in Silent Hill. You know that better than anyone, Heather."

"Yeah... but even so, I just can't shake the feeling."


	20. Episode XX

_Welcome to…_

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XX**

"Stay away from me you stupid slut!" Laura cried as she ran down one of the many corridors that comprised one of the higher floors of the tower. Since the walls were painted black and the only light came from electric bulbs situated at long intervals on the walls, Maria had a difficult time keeping up.

"Hold on, you brat!" she yelled, stopping near a light to try and regain her breath. "Wait…"

"I'm going to find James, 'cause he's just a stupid fartface who can't do anything!" came a shout somewhere ahead. Maria half-smiled, the light shadowing her face.

"Reminds me of how I was when I was little…" she said, but frowned. "At least what I remember about being little… but all that's a lie, ain't it…?" She tittered and shrunk beside the wall, containing a sob.

"…Only if you believe them to be," said Pyramid Head as he limped up into view, using his Great Knife as a crutch. "Those memories aren't fake, Maria, just because you didn't live them; they exist in your head just as you exist here. I think that is enough to justify their—_your_—authenticity."

"You think?" she murmured, clasping her hands together in her lap. "It's shit, that's what it is. It's all a big, steaming pile of _shit_."

Pyramid Head said nothing but only watched her beneath his helmet. She tittered again. "You know, when I woke up in Silent Hill with the biggest hangover ever, I met a guy named Ernest. When I first met him I thought he was crazy; he wanted to revive his dead daughter, and I thought it was crazy. But then as I got to know him a little more, I figured it wasn't so insane after all, you know? I didn't believe completely, but I thought, 'Hell, it might, _might_ just be possible'." She shook her head. "Now I wonder if Ernest was even real… and I don't mean like me, I mean _actually_ real, like if he just wasn't part of my imagination. I never even met him face-to-face."

Pyramid Head shrugged. "I have seen a great many number of the Lord's tricks, but I highly doubt it was your imagination. Silent Hill creates things, yes, but not all of them necessarily come out of your head. Some are just memories of that town."

"_Memories of the town_?" Maria asked incredulously. "_That's_ something, that's _definitely_ something…"

Pyramid Head gestured down the hall. "In any case, let's be on our way. We have to find the little girl and leave. James and the others will finish this, of that I am confident." He lumbered forward and Maria followed sulkily. They rounded the corner and saw Laura idling in front of a door.

"What are you _doing_?" Maria inquired, and Laura held a finger to her lips.

"Quiet, I think somebody's in there."

The three of them crowded there in the middle of the hall, and suddenly the door swung open. A toilet flushed inside, and Child Walter breathed a sigh of relief. "Never had to go _that_ bad," he said, and then finally noticed Laura and the others.

"Oh no," he gasped, backing away while Laura took a step forward.

"Hey, it's you!" she cried, "that weird kid!"

He screamed in horror, the crotch of his pants darkening with urine before he ran off, with Laura right on his heels. Maria and Pyramid Head went after them, and then the tower shook.

---

Before them on the last landing of the last staircase was a door. It was a black door with a golden knob, and engraved upon the door was the 'Halo of the Sun', in a bright red that made it stand out against the black that covered everything else.

Heather pointed at it. "So, beyond that door is the end, right?"

"Don't know," said Lisa. "But, this isn't the damn Matrix. All we have to do is open the door; no pills or choices or anything." The nurse turned the knob, but before she could open the door Heather stopped her.

"Lisa… _The Matrix_ came out after, like, ten years after you died."

"What?"

"You couldn't have seen it."

Lisa stared at the teenager for some time, but waved it off. "Don't worry about it. Come on."

She opened the door and entered, and Jasper and Cynthia did as well. Heather hesitated. "I don't think I can do this, Douglas," she said lowly, gazing at the floor.

Douglas licked his lips and frowned, searching for the right thing to say. Finally, he said, "Listen, Heather, I know it's daunting, but it's too late to turn back. A lot of weird things have been going on lately, and maybe this is the only way to find out what's _really_ going on. I can tell you, though, that it seems this group—whoever they are—mean business. This is bigger than that cult."

"I _know_ that, it's just… screw it, let's go." They walked into the room, which was massive. A single light bulb hung down from the ceiling to illuminate the center of the room, and a pod-shaped chair sat a little ways ahead of it on a small raised portion of the floor that stretched to the far wall, which wasn't even a wall but a great glass panel that served as little more than a window. It showed all of Silent Hill up until where the tower stood. And standing in front of the window was a man in a long black cloak.

"So the prisoners have finally made a successful escape. I'll take it then that Claudia is dead, Lisa?"

"Yes," the nurse replied, and the Lord nodded, folding his arms.

"I must thank you for that. I was reluctant to go through with it myself. Do not misinterpret me, however; I have murdered many people unjustly, and killing Claudia would have been simple. I just felt that perhaps one so loyal to my cause should die… in a nobler fashion."

He threw his arms out and bowed to them suddenly. "Where are my manners? Welcome to my domain. It is here where I sit and ponder the great mysteries of the abyss, and begin to understand the cold reality of life eternal. You grow old, in this way—not old in age, but old in your heart and mind. Sometimes I wonder if I would ever have considered the things I have done in my former life… for we must understand ourselves before attempting to understand what is around us."

Heather stared at him indifferently from her place in the lead of the group. "Just who _are_ you, anyway?"

"I am the creator," the Lord responded. "I was the one who appeared to the early generations and granted them their _salvation_. They viewed me as a god, but in truth I am nothing of the sort. In fact, I searched for a way to _become_ a god, and with that quest spurring me on I planted the seed of The Order, you see."

He paused and looked back through the glass panel at the town. "You could even say that I was the one who built that town, Silent Hill. Perhaps I did.

"The Order was my tool. I used them to experiment with ways in which to gain the power of God, whatever god that may be, and all the while they believed themselves to be working for the betterment of mankind. The "Paradise" they speak of… it is what I make it to be. And they tried a variety of different methods, and some were partly successful. Yet, each time God manifested itself it was weak. None of its forms could kill me, you see, and that was the flaw. On the contrary, with a snap of a finger I could send those pitiful failures back to the hell from whence they came.

"It all started with my fascination of the God, really. Long ago, before I attained my immortality I encountered it. At the time it frightened me, yet for a moment its magnificence enthralled me, and it was only when I died that I realized we are weak beings. I sought to fix that, for myself if no one else."

"So you were greedy," Lisa remarked. "You wanted all that power, but you still can't get it."

"Yes," the Lord replied. "The Order was useless. So many failed attempts, and when they _did_ succeed it was not up to standard. So, after the last failure—the 'Descent of the Holy Mother-The Twenty-One Sacraments'—I decided to take matters into my own hands. I mustered up my forces and drew you out, Heather. You are the key."

"Then why haven't you done what you need to do with me?" she asked. The Lord sighed.

"Oh, I have been preoccupied with a small band of resistors. James Sunderland, Henry Townshend, and Walter Sullivan—they are the ones who have made it so difficult to proceed with my plans. With their band of companions they defied my minions time and time again, and I suspect Xuchilbara and Losbel Vith are currently making a last stand to stop them from destroying this tower. However, I am sure they will be killed."

The Lord shook his head. "I did not ask them to. It was by their own decision that they stand against our oppressors. Their sacrifices, however, shall not be in vain. My last chance is here. Surrender yourself, Heather, and I may not have to kill you."

Heather scowled. "And let you go on with your plans? I don't think so. You're the reason Dad died, and I intend to finish this now, before many other people die because of your selfishness."

There was a pause, and the Lord chuckled dryly. "Such altruism… I shall humor you then, but you cannot slay me. And after I have defeated you…" He gestured around him. "…I will gain everlasting power from your carcass!"

He threw out his arms and blue waves of electricity began circulating around him. From him blew waves of dust and smoke as they blew up from the floor. The group was forced to shield their eyes and the Lord summoned all of the electricity into this right palm. It crackled with an immense ferocity, and before Heather could even see what hit her, the Lord had dashed right in front of her, his arm extended out to her. His palm collided with her abdomen and the impact was so great she flew away and slammed into the area of wall above the doorway. She hit the ground like a limp doll.

"Heather!" Douglas exclaimed with horror as he drew his gun. He fired off three bullets, and each one penetrated the Lord's body and shot out the other end, but he not so much as flinched from the shooting. He turned to Douglas and merely waved his hand; the revolver was whisked away from his hand and he was bashed against the wall closest to him.

Lisa had already snatched up Heather's katana and was swinging both of her swords at the Lord's head. He twirled away with the greatest ease, beckoning her to come at him. "Lisa, even after I saved you, you would kill me?"

"You didn't save me you heartless bastard," she growled, and he laughed.

"I see. Well then…" He pulled back his cloak and revealed a sheath hanging by his side. He withdrew a katana from it, throwing the sheath aside and holding the blade out to her.

She cried and ran to meet him, slashing and swiping with the two swords. The Lord deflected each strike, doing it easily with only his right hand.

"H-Holy…" Jasper mumbled, scared shitless and having wet his pants just moments before. "Come on, C-Cynth, we have to get, get out of h-h-here."

"But, Jasper, they might need out help!"

"H-H-H-_Help_? There's n-no way, that, that we c-c-could stand up to th-that! _Come on_!" He took her by the arm and ran out of there as if the devil was on his heels.

Meanwhile, Heather had woken from her temporary unconsciousness. She shook her head to get rid of the ringing between her eardrums and then rushed to Douglas' side. "Douglas, are you okay?"

He chuckled. "Never better, but it doesn't matter. I'm fine. Go on!" She nodded and ran towards the Lord and Lisa's battle. The nurse stopped her relentless assault and then flung Heather's katana at her.

The teenager caught it and spun it around in her hands before lunging at the Lord. Lisa did the same.

The Lord stopped both of their blades with his sword, and then forced them back, following that up with a sudden spin of his own weapon. Heather managed to duck, but Lisa only leaned back, the tip of the sword nicking her dress strap. She shrieked and caught just in time. "Hey!" she exclaimed, but the Lord waved his hand in response and she flew back.

Heather had taken advantage of this distraction to try and attack him, but the Lord was already blocking the katana. She pushed him back, surprisingly, but he always kept the blade in its loose position attached to hers. Seeing Lisa stand out of the corner of his eye, however, he broke off and leapt up to land one of the three narrow, metallic beams that hung from the ceiling, which was quite a ways up. He once again beckoned them.

'He's so damn smug,' Douglas thought, 'but he can back it up. Be careful girl.'

Lisa and Heather exchanged quick glances before bouncing up the walls to meet him on the beam. One landed on each end, successfully trapping him in the middle. They screamed a battle cry and ran to strike him down, but the Lord laughed and fell back, standing on the _side_ of the beam. The two girls' swords clashed and they stared at each other, dumbfounded, while the Lord somersaulted off from that beam and onto the middle one.

His adversaries looked to him, and he shrugged, and then they looked to each other, and then they yelped as the cords holding the beam snapped and it gave way. Heather hastily grasped what was left of the cord and caught Lisa's arm before she could fall. She struggled to try and raise her, and the Lord held out his hand, white light beginning to form around it.

He fired a blast, and Heather painfully jerked Lisa towards the Lord before she herself dropped. The blast disintegrated the cord and scorched the wall beyond it. Lisa had clutched the edge of the Lord's beam, and he looked down at her. Her strap was starting to undo itself, and she sighed. The Lord prepared to fire at her, but she slashed through the cord nearest her, and the beam swung inwards, hanging only by a single, strong cord. The nurse held onto the end of the beam for dear life, fumbling with her strap all the while.

Heather had already gotten onto the last beam, scanning the situation dreadfully. "_Shit_!" she muttered harshly, and the Lord waved at her. She looked and saw another spasm of energy sailing at her. She jumped from the beam as it exploded in white flame and landed on the protruding end of the middle end. She carefully kept her balance, watching as the Lord walked up the dangling beam towards her. Heather shook her head slowly—as if it would stop him—but he cut the cord cleanly, somersaulting into the air as he did so. The beam fell, and as the Lord reached the peak of his leap he sent a javelin of blue fire into the beam, splitting it into two pieces.

Lisa clambered up on to her end, and as it fell she gritted her teeth and ran towards the falling Lord. Heather did the same, and they met the both met the Lord in midair. All three of their blades met, and the Lord spun around and slashed once; his sword dug into Lisa's gut and bit into Heather's arm, and she lost her grip on her katana. The two girls hit the floor and the Lord landed gracefully on his feet, his cloak swaying around him as he did so. He flicked his sword to the side and blood flew off it. He turned his head to his fallen opponents.

Douglas gasped and tried to stand, but his side burned with pain and he fell back against the wall. "Get up Heather!" he shouted. "Cheryl, _get up_!"

The Lord suddenly looked in his direction, as if surprised by the use of the name, and Heather stood and ambled over to Lisa. "You okay, Lisa? Can you get up?"

"I don't think so…" answered the nurse. She held out her katana. "Take it; I can't fight like this… and _oh_!" She giggled and her hand sheepishly fell near her crotch, and Heather brushed it away and quickly slapped her. Lisa blinked. "Sorry…"

"No problem." She helped the nurse up and deposited her at the nearest wall. Then she turned back to the Lord and picked up her dropped sword. Heather took an offensive stance and the Lord laughed mockingly.

"You've lost, Cheryl."

"Shut up," the girl replied. She ran at him, both of the swords posed to strike him. The Lord twirled his own katana and then rushed to meet her, sword kept outward by his side. They moved simultaneously, the blades hitting and then soaring past to bury into flesh. Heather stumbled forward, grimacing with her eyes tightly shut. She winced and stared down at the wound that had appeared on her side, and cupped it as best she could. It wasn't too deep, thankfully.

She glanced back and gasped with shock. Lisa and Douglas also stared dumbly at the Lord, whose hood had been sliced off. The two blades had cut into his chest and into his throat and then out, taking the hood with them. What was under it was Robbie the Rabbit.

"_Robbie the Rabbit_?" Lisa and Heather cried in unison, and the Lord laughed.

"Not at all," he said while turning around and dabbing at the indent the blade had made in the material of the forehead. "It is only a costume, do you see?" He laughed again and threw the katana to the side. "Now, where were we?" He pushed his hand out and Heather was knocked back by a wave of invisible force.

---

Henry, James, and Eileen sped down a staircase and blew into a corridor, killing three demon nurses that happened to be in their way.

"Dead end," Henry said, gesturing to the pile of rubble that halted them. James nodded towards another way that branched off from that corridor.

"This way!" he said, and they followed him, ending up in a small room.

"It's some type of lounge," Eileen commented, and Henry spotted discarded liquor bottles dotting the floor. James was already moving into the next room, and he found another stairway.

"Come on, guys, we can go down from here!" They descended and ran through some more corridors before appearing in a small hall that Heather had once occupied during a long-forgotten battle with Claudia that had in fact occurred the previous day.

Just as they entered, Walter, Alessa, and Leon came in as well. Henry and James drew their pipes, and Walter did the same, but they quickly realized who was who and what was what.

"Hey," Leon greeted, and James waved stupidly back. Henry cleared his throat.

"Sorry about before, Walter," the brunet said. "I… cry your pardon." He held his hand out and Walter nodded.

"Don't worry about it Henry; we're still alive, so it's fine." He took Henry's hand and shook it firmly. The reunited group was about to depart when a shower of bullets overtook them, just barely missing and spraying the floor a few feet before them.

"You won't be alive for long! _Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk_!" yelled a voice from above, and they looked up to the balcony to see a giant Gatling gun mounted up on it. Behind it Don came into view, his right arm tucked into his jacket. He appraised them maniacally.

"Who the hell are _you_?" Eileen demanded, and Henry glanced at Walter and James.

"Do you guy know who this is?"

"Never seen him before," Walter said, and a "Me neither", came from James.

"Me…?" Don chortled with amusement. "_Me_? My name is Don, you idiots, and I am a loyal follower to our almighty Lord and The Order!"

Leon sighed and pointed to the exit. "Sorry, but we've got to go before this place falls apart completely. You _do_ know it's going to collapse and crush us… right?"

"Of course I do," Don replied, "but I might as well have the satisfaction of killing you before I die with this place!" He reached for the machine gun when Pyramid Head stalked through the doorway behind him.

"I don't think so," the demon said, and he impaled Don where he stood. Maria, Laura, and Child Walter came out from the room also.

"It was freakin' _snowing_ in there," Maria said, hugging herself. Laura bounded up to the railing of the balcony and looked over it.

"James, you fartface!" she bellowed, "I found you!"

"Laura!" James called, and she grabbed Child Walter by the wrist and ran down to meet them. Maria and Pyramid Head followed, but there was a great tremor. A chunk of stone fell and crashed into numerous pieces. Leon raced over to the exit.

"We don't have much time, so let's go!"

---

Heather stood shakily, her wounds having ceased bleeding all that much. She focused her eyes and saw the Lord slowly approaching her, his Robbie's grin stitched permanently on its face. "I found the mascot fascinating, much in the same way I found God to be. To be forever cheerful, never able to frown, and in that way you spread your happiness… That is exactly what their Paradise would be like."

He laughed once again and spread his hands out. "In any case, enough is enough. If you can still fight, then come at me, Heather." Sabers of intense, crimson light formed in his hands. "You can still surrender. I will allow you that privilege."

"Screw you," Heather spat, and she reached under her vest and brought out a narrow, silver rod. A slim, green column of energy materialized from the rod and Heather grasped it with both hands.

The Lord cocked his head to the side curiously. He held out one of the sabers to her and she lunged at him, crying wildly. She slashed and he stepped to the side, jabbing one of the sabers forward. She went back, knocked the saber away and then attacked him fervently, releasing a flurry of quick slashes and swipes. The Lord met each one of them, and green sparkled against red.

The Lord hopped back and then flew into the sir, spinning around at a dazzling speed, effectively creating a wheel of lethality. The successive hits slammed Heather back, but she held steady and the Lord broke out and hit the floor, already making a spin on the floor to catch her feet. She leapt over him and attempted to swipe at him. The red energy blades rose and blocked and he pushed back, throwing the blades out a wide arc. Heather jumped back, the tips of the swords slicing some of her vest's material off.

She charged forward as the Lord landed with his back to her. He did an about-face and his palm was thrust out. Heather barely had time to duck as the force blast blew out most of the wall. The Lord struck at her with his sabers, and she struck at him. They attacked and attacked, the Lord seemingly never tiring. With a valiant cry and Heather raised her lightsaber and came down upon him, but the Lord easily held his sabers up and defended against it. He thrust her back and it was little more than a temporary stalemate.

The Lord laughed and looked at Douglas and Lisa. "Do you see? Even your best has no chance. Yet you still hold on that hope… I gave you the opportunity, Heather, but you turned it down. I suppose I would've as well…" He shrugged.

"Don't listen to him!" Douglas yelled. "You can do it, Heather, finish it!"

She spat out some blood and rushed at him again. The Lord sighed and spread out his arms. The green energy blade slid through his abdomen, but like with the bullets he hardly even noticed. And no blood spew forth either. Heather jerked it out and stared at him incredulously.

"I told you."

"Just because you can't bleed doesn't mean you can't die!"

"I beg to differ."

They collided, their energy weapons swerving and moving erratically. They clashed and clashed, and then they locked blades. Heather stared into those fake eyes of Robbie's, knowing that the Lord's were somewhere beneath them. She struggled with all her might, and when the Lord freed one hand to try and Force Blast her away, her hand darted up as well.

Their palms nearly touched; the space between they was similar to the force between the same types of two magnets. The force was heavy for Heather, but she willed all of her being into it. The Lord's hand twitched back just the slightest—he noticed this, although the twitch

was minute—but it only lasted for a second. He summoned more power and it exploded, blowing Heather into the air. She hit the area of the wall before the doorway, like she had earlier, and then fell in the same way.

"Look what you've been reduced to Heather. Don't resist any further—the process itself will kill you outright." He walked over to her beaten form and knelt beside her, the tower trembling with a sudden urgency. Lisa noticed this and crawled as best she could towards them.

"Get up Heather!" she tried to scream, and the Lord looked up.

"Don't, please. The core has already been dismantled, I presume, so there isn't much time left. Stop struggling and allow it all to end."

"No, Cheryl!" Douglas exclaimed, and her head rose quickly.

"I won't!" She swept her hand out and willed her lightsaber towards her; as she gripped it she slashed blindly. The Lord stared casually as his left hand rolled away, the glove revealing the tiniest bit of skin underneath. He sighed and got to his feet. She watched as he walked up to the pod-like chair and felt its edges.

"You don't understand, do you?" he asked as the tower shook. "I am done playing games. You will see the futility of your resistance." His hand glowed with blue fire and he glanced back at her. "You will all die, but you will die without having the chance to pass on. They will die as I extract your very soul."

Heather got up and ignited the lightsaber. The Lord shot out his hand and a massive way of blue energy erupted from it, consuming nearly everything before it. Heather braced herself for it and the lightsaber met the blast. Heather was almost forced back completely, but she struggled against it.

'It's going to kill her, dammit!' Douglas thought. He looked at the revolver that lay beside him, and he took it into his hand. It only took him one glance to decide what to do. "You bastard!" he shouted, and he shot, the bullet heading straight for the Lord's head; the bullet barreled forth through the Robbie's forehead. The Lord's head lurched back, and Heather screamed and pushed the entire wave back. The lightsaber flew out of her hands and the energy struck the Lord head-on. His cloak was ripped almost entirely away, and his body rose into the air, crackling with electricity as the force exploded. The glass panel imploded and thousands of glass shards rained down. The Lord's limp body fell upon pieces of rubble and glass that had come down.

Heather staggered back and collapsed, drenched in fatigue. She stole what air she could, and Douglas shuffled to her. "Heather, Heather, are you all right?"

The girl laughed shortly. "…Oh yeah, I'm just peachy, Doug."

"Don't call me that," he said curtly and helped her up.

"Why, why not?"

"It reminds me of that prick, Don."

"Oh." She chuckled and saw Lisa nearby, struggling to stand. "Lisa!"

The nurse looked at them as they approached, but waved them away. "Don't worry I'm fine. I just wish the burning in my crotch would go away… damn, it's so not the time." Heather slung an arm around her neck and nodded to Douglas, who did the same.

"We'll get out of here, Lisa, I know it…"

"I don't doubt it."

Heather stopped right before the doorway as the tower shook once more, and looked back at the rubble. Lisa did the same, and so did Douglas. Stone and dust fell from the ceiling. The tower continued to tremble horribly, its condition worsening like a rising crescendo. From the area in front of the shattered glass panel something stirred.

Heather left Lisa in Douglas' care and walked towards it. Lisa shook her head. "Get back here, Alessa! Leave him and come! There's not much time left!" Heather clenched her fists as the Lord rose as a black shadow, his cloak ripped and torn and Robbie's face in nearly the same way.

"You've lost!" Heather said angrily. "Give it up, it's over!"

A chortle came from the thing that had been the Lord, and it chilled Heather to the bone. It staggered forward weakly and just kept on chortling. "Over…? No… Heather, this is not over, not over at all!" They all watched as Robbie's face fell and floated into the air. It was whisked away into the cold morning of Silent Hill, and there was silence in the room.

Heather felt something caught in her throat. Lisa's eyes widened and she was also speechless. Douglas narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

"Impossible…"

---

The whole group was in the process of running out of the tower's entrance when the great window at the top shattered with a tremendous _BOOM_. They all looked up at it, and Henry turned to James.

"Do you think it's the Lord?"

"Yes," Pyramid Head said, "That's his domain—up there."

"What could've happened?" Alessa asked, and Pyramid Head shrugged.

"I don't know. It must be the Holy Mother. Either the Lord's taken what he needs or he's actually been defeated…"

From out of the tower came two beings suddenly, and Henry rushed to meet them. "Jasper, Cynthia!" They smiled at him and then glanced at the tower. "I totally forgot about you two… Are both of you all right?"

"I'm pretty sure," Cynthia responded, "but I'm worried about those other three, Heather and Douglas and some nurse that helped us when that priestess tried to stop us from getting away."

"So it is the Holy Mother," said Pyramid Head, and he sighed. "We have no way of knowing what happened. The Lord is a fearsome adversary."

"I'll say," Henry remarked. "He wiped our asses for us during DDR." Henry blinked and glanced at each of them, as if just realizing what he'd said. "Err, you know, I mean he beat us."

"DDR?" Eileen asked.

The brunet shrugged. "Yeah, but it's not important."

James folded his arms and thought over what he had just heard. "So this Heather—their Holy Mother—is the one needed for whatever the Lord has planned…"

"Joseph said it was the Lord's _daughter_ he needed," Walter told them, and he looked at Alessa with concern. "If we're talking about the _true_ Alessa, it can't be. Dr. Kaufmann was Alessa's father."

Pyramid Head shook his head. "No, Alessa, at least the true Alessa, is dead. It's Cheryl Mason who is the daughter here."

They all looked at each other unceasingly, and Leon scratched his head. "What are you guys talking about?"

---

Heather backed away, a hand rising to her mouth in horror. Douglas and Lisa could do nothing but stare.

"…Harry Mason?" the detective questioned uncertainly, his brow furrowed. "It isn't possible. You're _dead_."

Harry Mason touched the bullet hole that had taken up residence near the corner of his forehead. He was young, the same age he had been when he had left Silent Hill with Cheryl in his arms. He saw blood on his fingertips, and brushed his forefinger and thumb together to get rid of it.

"You're right about me being dead, Mr. Cartland, and the irony of it is, although it happened only a short time ago, for me it's been centuries. When I died—when Claudia summoned that beast to kill me—I was sent into the void like everyone else. But… I was connected to Alessa, and through that connection I was also connected with God."

"But… but…" Lisa sputtered, searching for words. "What about the Harry I met at Maxwell's prison? It was you, I _swore_ it was you!"

"That was nothing but a clone I created to use as a spy of sorts. Of course he had no idea what he was. He _thought_ he was me, but it was not the case."

Heather could feel her eyes brimming with tears, but she fought them back. "Why…?" she said, "Why did you do all of this? Why kill so many lives? What _happened_ to you… Dad?"

Harry met her gaze and replied darkly, "I ceased to be human, Cheryl. While I wandered the abyss, thoughts of revenge set into my mind, but my fate was sealed. I would fade away into the darkness and then vanish… but _they_ freed me. Xuchilbara and Losbel Vith brought me from the void and revived me. My soul was lost, of course. When someone is brought back to life… it is not right. Yet the two gods knew this very well, and they promised to assist me in my quest. We realized that the Order was faltering, that they could not bring about God, and the only way to right the wrongs and make ends to the means was for God's powers to be ours.

"It was everything that was wrong with this world. If I could change it, make it better—perhaps I could stop my death and somehow save us from our doom. The Order was insane, but they were also the key, and that is how it was."

"How could you do this Harry?" Lisa demanded. "You were so sweet when we first met, just an average guy that wanted to find his daughter… Look what all this power has made you, Harry. You're not that guy I knew…"

"…and you're not the father I knew," Heather said humbly. She glared at him fiercely, and he turned away to look out at the town as the tower shook greatly.

"I'll be honest with you, Cheryl. I'm not any of those any longer, not after what happened. I cannot feel true emotion as I used to, I cannot think how a man who has a purpose can think. I have no purpose, but my goal is still the same. You are the key to unlocking the door, Cheryl."

"I don't want to unlock your door," she said, stifling a sob. "You're not Harry Mason."

"No, I am the Lord, and that being so, I am your enemy." He reached down and picked up the lightsaber and then handed it to her. "Kill me. I have lost, and I have accepted it. End it, Cheryl, if you value your life and those of Lisa and Mr. Cartland. The tower will fall soon."

"…I didn't see you die, Da-,"

"No. I'm no longer your father. I never was. Now finish it."

Heather reluctantly took the lightsaber in her hands and stared down at it meaningfully. She ignited it and then looked back at Harry, who only looked back at her. "Goodbye."

"…Bye." She decapitated him then, crying the entire time. She dropped the lightsaber and fell to her knees, sobbing and going hysteric. "Dad… _Dad_…"

Lisa went over to her with Douglas' help and touched her shoulder. "Come on Alessa. We need to leave."

"…I know…" She stood and looked out the shattered window. "That's the only way now. Let's go."

---

The group moved away from the tower, not really knowing what was going on. The tower sighed and then began to crumble.

"Look, it's falling!" Maria said, and they all turned and saw the tower dissolve into nothing but an enormous pile of stone and glass. They approached it, and then out of the fog strode three figures.

"H-Heather, and D-D-Douglas!" Jasper cried, and he and Cynthia ran to meet them.

Pyramid Head stroked his pyramid and James turned to him. "It's over, then. All of this—it's all just been a mess." He sighed. "…Thank you for helping us. I don't know about you and Dad, but thank you nonetheless."

"It was my obligation to you, James." He hesitantly held out his blood-stained white glove. "You can call me… well, just call me Jimmy."

James hesitantly took the hand. "Thank you then, Jimmy, or should I say… James?"

"No. I don't deserve to be called that any longer."

"James, what are you doing? James!" Laura cried as she ran up to them. She looked up at Pyramid Head and tapped her chin. "I, err, cry your pardon Mr. Pyramid Head. It was unjust of me to… um, hit you in your testicles."

Pyramid Head scratched his pyramid. "That's alright, Laura. I forgive you."

Maria walked up to them and cleared her throat. "Uh, and I apologize James, for trying to kill you all those times… It was unjust of me too."

James smiled and shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, Maria. This was all just something above us, that's all. In fact…" He placed a hand on her shoulder. "If you have nowhere to go, you can stay with us."

"You would do that?" she asked in surprise. "For me?"

"It's… It's what Mary would've done."

"But I don't want this stupid slut to live with us!"

---

Alessa walked back to the others, holding Child Walter by the hand as they returned from his business. "You're a much better aimer than he is," he said, pointing at Walter. Alessa giggled and Walter approached them.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing."

Nearby Henry and Eileen were speaking with Cynthia and Jasper. "You can come with us until you find a place to go," Henry told them. "This has been a strain on all of us."

"T-Thanks, man," Jasper responded, and they shook hands briefly. Walter came up behind them, and Henry and Eileen turned to him.

"So, Walter, what are your plans?"

The blond let out a sigh and looked west. "I don't know. I think I'll just take it easy for awhile… I'm immortal, so that's a plus, right?"

Henry grinned. "Well, you can always come stay with us if you need to. Right, Eileen?"

"Of course!" She embraced Walter briskly. "You've been as much a victim in this as we were, Walter."

Child Walter suddenly dashed to them and hugged Eileen's waist. "Eileen, you're still alive!"

"Of course, silly! And where were you off to, anyway, the bathroom again?"

---

"You coming?" Douglas asked as everyone began to leave the town. His question was to Heather, who was staring at the rubble of the tower sadly.

"…Yeah, but wait." She spotted something sticking out of two large stones.

"What is it?"

Heather climbed over it and yanked it out, inspecting the object quizzically. "It's the Seal of Metatron…"

"What does that got to do with anything?"

Heather brushed some dust off of its surface and walked to him. "I'm not sure, but…" She shook her head and smiled. "Don't worry about it. Come on."

They went off to join the main group, leaving what was left of the tower behind.

---

They were walking past the sign that read: **WELCOME TO SILENT HILL**, when Pyramid Head stopped. James turned back to him, worried. "Jimmy, what's wrong?"

"I can't go past here, James. I'm part of Silent Hill now, and it won't let me leave."

James' eyes wandered to the ground and then centered on Pyramid Head. "I understand. Take care of yourself."

"The same to you."

They started off again, but Pyramid Head called them back. "James!"

James looked back at the demon, who said, "Don't ever come back here James, and don't even speak of it. Forget that this place exists, please. It'll do you no good."

The dirty-blond nodded. "I'll do that. Goodbye Jimmy."

"Goodbye James."

They all then went off, and Pyramid Head departed into the fog of Silent Hill.

---

James Stone shuffled back to the remains of the tower and sat upon a jutting stone, contemplating on something that had been bothering him since the tower fell. Someone came walking out of the fog.

"So our Lord was defeated. I supposed as much would happen." Stone raise his head and saw a tall man in a black coat standing before him. He wore a pair of khakis and his head was topped with a mat of long, raven hair. His eyes were gray, and a small goatee was on his chin. He smirked at Stone.

"Hello, there, _Father_ Stone. I am Metatron." He bowed quickly and Stone stood abruptly.

"Metatron? Impossible! You are a traitor!"

"Oh, don't tell me you believe that. It was all a _ploy_, Stone! I planted my seed—literally and non-literally—for our Lord, and the plan has worked. It was all back-up, though. Walter Sullivan was meant to only be a tool, and it just so happened he fought against us. And my other seed I planted in there."—he pointed at the rubble—"It was my Seal, Stone, for our Lord."

"…So he lied to us!" Stone was shocked, and Metatron tucked his hands into this coat pockets and let out a breath.

"Yes, but it was all to make sure everything went smoothly." He turned away. "I won't kill you, though. You had a son involved in this as well, and you started as a human and retained your emotions. I didn't, though."

He kicked a stone out into the fog. "Xuchilbara and Losbel Vith died at their hands, but I don't intend to. We are the angels of God, and the servants of our Lord. I'll make sure our Lord succeeds this time." He walked off into the fog, and Stone could do nothing but stare.

**Oh wow, I'm crapping my pants. Srsly.**

Heather couldn't take her eyes off of the Seal as they walked down the road, away from Silent Hill. 'What is _it_? Why was this there?'

"The Seal of Metatron…"

She looked to the voice and saw Walter appraising it silently, save for those words. She cleared her throat. "Uh… hey… Walter?"

He smiled at her and nodded. "Where did you find that?"

"I found it in the ruins of the tower. It's odd though…"

The clouds darkened suddenly. The group stopped and Henry and James exchanged glances as the Seal glimmered. Heather let it go in surprise and a stream of violet wind poured out of the Seal and enveloped them.

"What the hell?" Henry questioned, and the Seal cracked. Red light shot out and it imploded in a flash of crimson. Everyone was blinded momentarily by the light; when they opened their eyes Heather, Henry, Walter, and James were gone.


	21. FINAL EPISODE

**Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; FINAL EPISODE**

"What was _that_?" Leon asked, flabbergasted. The Seal of Metatron was gone, and so were Heather, James, Henry, and Walter. He couldn't take his eyes off of the spot where they had been standing just seconds before.

"Metatron must've been responsible for this, being that his Seal," Alessa stated. She looked at everyone. "I was serving him, but I had my suspicions… though I couldn't act without some sort of confirmation. If what I suspect now is true, we have to return to Silent Hill."

Leon giggled hysterically. "We have to go _back_? You're kidding. I've completed the mission I was assigned, and my assessment of that place is that it should be _nuked_! I can deal with zombies and the occasional mutated B. O. W., but we're talking about gods and demons here! This is hardly my line of work! It's as if I'm in an alternate type of horror genre than the one I work in!"

Once he finished his ranting Eileen clapped him on the shoulder. "It's not like you're alone, Leon, you know? I understand what you're saying; we're all afraid."

Douglas lit a cigarette and took a drag. "Heather's back there too, and she's sticking her neck for all of us." Lisa nodded in agreement.

"If we, we h-h-have to go-go save H-Henry, then let's… d-do it," Jasper said. He placed his fists on his hips and set a stony, determined expression on his face. Cynthia hooked her arm though his.

"I'll go wherever my Jaspy here goes."

Laura nodded and frowned at Leon. "You're just a whiny little bi-,"

Alessa clamped her hand over the little girl's mouth and Leon sighed in defeat. "Alright, fine, I'll go with you. But where's Dante when you need him?"

"Who?" Eileen asked.

"…Never mind, it's nothing."

The brunette woman turned in the direction of Silent Hill, where great storm clouds had formed above it. Eileen shivered within. "Let's get a move on, then."

---

"What the… hell?" Henry murmured as he awoke. "My brain lobes are functioning separately…?" He rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Oh, it was just a dream…"

The sky was dark and the lightning that accompanied it made the cemetery they were in that much more foreboding. Around him Walter, James, and Heather were stirring.

"Henry?" James said, and the brunet nodded.

"You wouldn't happen to know where we are, would you, James?"

"Actually…" He got up and focused his eyes. "I've been in this cemetery before. It wasn't that long ago, really… for me at least." James looked up and a raindrop landed under his right eye. He wiped it away and grimaced. "We're back in Silent Hill, aren't we?"

"Yes," Walter responded. "The Seal of Metatron did this, somehow. It was a trap."

"Well that sucks," Heather said as she faced them. "I'm the one who took it, anyway. I'm the only one who should be here."

"I don't think so," Walter said. "All of us were supposed to be transported by the Seal, but you see… I doubt we're in Silent Hill. I think we're in…"

"…the Otherworld."

Out of the darkness came a man in a black coat, his dull gray eyes surveying them with satisfaction, the way a collector would survey something especially rare. "I am known as Metatron. Welcome to Silent Hill as it really is."

"Metatron," Walter said bitterly. "You tricked me."

He laughed smugly. "Indeed I did. It was important for one of us to make sure our plans were well ensured. It just so happened that I was the one chosen for the task, although I think Losbel Vith would have been a better choice…"

"Losbel Vith is dead," Henry said, but Metatron shrugged.

"It was unavoidable. We underestimated you severely. Our plans kept unraveling. First, the time pocket Valtiel created to trap you, James, failed. Walter turned against us, and all our attempts to kill you never succeeded. I'm partially to blame for this as well. Valtiel had no idea I was working covertly, and I had no choice but to send the Alessa clone with you and supply you with your weapons."

"What does it matter now? The Lord is dead and you're alone," Heather said sharply, but Metatron laughed again.

"Dead? No, our Lord is very much alive. Perhaps not in a physical state on your plane, but here, thanks to his essence being transferred to the Seal, he is quite alive and powerful. All he needs is you, Alessa; he is waiting for you."

"I don't think so," she said, and reached under her skirt for her Steel Pipe. "I'll kill him as many times as I have to, you can warrant your life on it. But first…" She thrust the pipe in his direction. "…I'll take care of you."

"No." Walter. He gently moved her arm down and looked to them. "You three should go and face the Lord. I will handle things here."

"But-," Heather tried to say, but he shook his head.

"Hurry up and go. There isn't much time left."

She hesitantly nodded and then ran off. James followed. "Be careful, Walter. Who knows what tricks he may have up his sleeve."

Walter nodded and Henry went off to join with the others. Metatron approached Walter casually with a sly smile on his face. "I wasn't lying when I said I was your father, Walter, but I'm sure you know that. However…" He brought out two large revolvers from his coat. "You lost your usefulness long ago!"

The blond drew dual handguns and spun them around with his fingers. "Hmm?" Metatron cocked an eyebrow at them. "I don't recall you taking those."

"I sneaked them away just in case I needed them as a last resort."

Metatron chuckled. "I see… Very well, then."

They fired at each other.

---

Henry, Heather, and James sprinted down the street towards the giant monument-like structure in the center of the town, where the tower had once stood in their reality. A bright, crimson light emanated from it.

"That's where the Lord is at!" Heather yelled at them over the sound of the harshly blowing wind that had begun to swoop at them. "We have to reach it!"

"Look at that!" James shouted back, and she turned her head round to see an enormous army of demon nurses marching towards them from the monument. They stopped, but James pushed her forward. "Go around them; we'll try and hold them off for now."

"But there's too many!" she protested. "You'll be killed!"

"That doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is that you go and finish this!" James replied, and she ran off into an alley to try and go around the army of nurses. James looked back at Henry. "Something wrong, Henry?"

"Yeah…" the brunet said. "I think I stepped in some pigeon shit…"

"Pigeon shit? Henry, I don't think there are any pigeons here…"

The brunet blinked at him. "Oh _shit_…"

And then the army of demonic nurses was upon them.

---

The tombstone was blown apart into small bits of debris as Walter dashed from behind it, inserting fresh clips into the pistols as he did so. He returned fire at Metatron, who swiftly moved behind a tall headstone. He reloaded his revolvers and spun back into view, shooting relentlessly at the blond who had taken cover again. Walter came back and they both shot simultaneously; one of Metatron's guns flew out of his hand and Walter dropped his in fear of his hand being in the way when the bullet hit the ground beside him.

He grasped his wrist lightly and stared at it, dumbfounded. "You could've shot my hand off!"

"Exactly." Metatron ran at Walter, the barrel of his revolver outstretched toward the blond. Walter went at him as well, his remaining handgun blasting away. The bullets grazed them, but none ever hit their mark. They met at the center of the cemetery, the barrels of their firearms at each other's foreheads.

"You're out," the angel said, and Walter glanced at the revolver from the corner of his eye.

"So are you."

They faced each other for several moments before Metatron threw his gun to the ground and took Walter by the throat. He slammed him into a large tombstone and it was leveled completely as Walter hit the ground. He reached into his coat and unsheathed a long broadsword and held its tip at Walter's Adam's apple.

"I'm surprised." He pressed the blade down slightly. "I really don't see how _you_ killed Xuchilbara… you're hardly capable of defending against my attacks."

"…You just underestimated me…" the former serial killer replied. "Besides, haven't we both just been gauging each other's strength?"

His hands shot up and clasped the blade. He jerked it to the side and Metatron stumbled to the side. Walter flipped up and drew his Steel Pipe. "Perhaps I did underestimate you… but you have yet to prove yourself, Walter."

The blond cried out and attacked him, and Metatron met it with his own.

---

Heather ascended the massive set of stone stairs that led up to the top of the monument. She could see a grand, tough statue of a robed woman standing at the other side of the platform. She hopped onto the platform and looked down at the floor, where a great 'Halo of the Sun' was etched into the stone in gold. From the statue's forehead shone a bright, red light.

Harry Mason stood at its feet, his back to Heather. He was dressed casually. His hands were in his jacket pockets. "Thank you for coming, Cheryl."

"What the _hell _do you want?" she screamed at him. "Why can't you just _give up_?"

"Give up?" Harry turned to her and then looked up at the statue. "You expect me to give up the power of God? _God_, Cheryl?"

"Harry Mason wouldn't do this," she said curtly.

"_Harry Mason is dead_!" he suddenly boomed, and Heather shrank back a bit. Harry cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "Excuse me. Some things are better left to die, you understand?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause, and Harry gestured at the statue. "It is time for God to bestow upon me its great powers. Here, in the Otherworld, is where I shall become eternal!"

"I don't think so! I'll kill you before you get the chance, Lord!" Heather rushed at him. Harry willed his own Steel Pipe to his hand and locked with Heather's. He pushed her off and then, in the blink of an eye, his pipe slid into her gut. The pipe was splashed with red, and Harry sighed.

"I'm sorry for this, Cheryl, but I did tell you that I would have take the component by force." He removed the pipe from her and his hand went into her stomach. In his palm glimmered a faint, clear light. Heather fell to her knees before him and he raised his blood-covered hand to the statue.

"Hear me, God! I grant you the key to Heaven!" The crimson light dimmed and the light from Harry's hand floated up to it and there was a bright flash. Cracks began to appear in the statue, and a white light shot out from them. Harry smirked, the light casting erratic shadows on his face. "That's right! Open the door! Lead me to everlasting power!" The beams of light merged into one and widened. The statue was split in two rough halves, revealing a path of light that led up into the sky. Harry made to walk onto it, but someone called him from behind.

"Hey!" Harry faced who had called him and saw Henry and James standing side-by-side at the other end of the platform. Beyond them was a wasteland of demon nurses. The two men were splattered with blood themselves and their clothes were ripped apart at some places, but other than that they were unharmed.

"…What else could be expected from the ones who killed Losbel Vith? But I must end this quickly, for the path will only stay open for a short period of time."

"So you're the Lord?" James asked, disregarding what Harry said. "We finally get to meet face-to-face."

"So we do."

Henry and James sprinted at him, and Harry fastened his grip on his pipe. Henry struck first, but he easily evaded the attack and kicked the brunet in the chest, sending him across the platform. James cried out and swiped, but it was blocked by Harry's pipe. James broke off and tried again, but Harry quickly knocked the pipe out of his hands and then swung his Steel Pipe upwards, catching James in the stomach and propelling him in the other direction so that he landed hard on his back.

"I applaud your bravery, but you have failed." He turned back to the path of light, but James and Henry got to their feet. Harry sighed and suddenly warped behind Henry, who spun around in awe. Harry bombarded him with a flurry of hits from his Steel Pipe and Henry could do nothing as he was flung to the edge of the platform.

"Henry!" James yelled, but he too was soon subdued as Harry dashed and struck him painfully in the crook of his neck. James went back and slid several yards on the platform before stopping.

Harry discarded his pipe and walked back towards the path, which was dimming. "Now, then, where was I?" He giggled and entered the beam of light.

---

Their battle was like a dance, the two participants twisting and turning. Their weapons gleamed in the lightning, and Metatron forced Walter back and somersaulted onto the wooden shack at the far end of the graveyard. He grinned and his broadsword sparkled with an eerie, green light. He swung the sword and a wave of thin, green energy flew out at Walter. The blond jumped to the left and the attack tore through the ground and destroyed multiple gravestones.

Metatron sent out another, and another. Walter avoided each one, and when the last attack reached him he hit it back at Metatron with his pipe. The angel leaped down as the shack lit with jade fire. When he touched the ground Walter was already there, ready to strike, but Metatron foresaw his attack and swept him off his feet with a low kick. Walter fell on his back and Metatron shoved his boot on Walter's chest and then pressed the blade once again at Walter's throat.

"You're not getting away this time," he said smugly while leaning down and removing the blue coat in one swoop. He threw it to the winds and into the darkness of the storm. The blond could do nothing but stare in horror as it faded away out of view. Metatron smirked above him.

"I'd like to tell you something before I kill you."

"…What?"

"Your mother was _quite_ easy."

There was silence. Walter's face was suddenly very serene, but Metatron saw something in his eyes. Something dangerous. His eyes widened and he moved back but Walter forced his legs up and kicked him in the back, springing him forward and off his balance. The former murderer sprang up to his feet, caught the broadsword, and, with a scream of the utmost fury, plunged it through Metatron's chest. He pushed him back, running at an unimaginable speed and then jammed the sword into the ground, pinning his enemy down.

Metatron coughed up some blood. "Even without the coat, you managed to catch me off-guard…"

"You're a mother-,"

"…but it's not as if I've been defeated."

"…what?"

Metatron groaned and began to rise, his body sliding up the blade, spraying it with immense amounts of gore. Walter gaped. "…Come on, you're not bloody _Dante_… Hell, I could use _his_ help right now…"

Metatron took hold of the hilt of the sword and approached Walter. "It's over now. Without your coat you can no longer match me."

"Hmm." Walter looked around himself and saw his pipe some distance away.

"I won't let you," Metatron said, but Walter was already running for it. The angel kept a steady pace with him, but Walter rolled and grabbed the pipe just as Metatron was about to slash. He deflected the slash and then moved in for the kill. The pipe went through Metatron's head at an amazing speed. The angel gasped and staggered back.

"…How… odd…" He fell and became still. Walter regained his composure and stared at Metatron's body.

"Seems like you're the one who lost. Farewell, then." Walter turned towards the surging white light in town and started for it.

---

James slowly got on his feet. "Shit… we couldn't even touch him…" He shook Henry lightly and the brunet opened his eyes. "Are you all right, Henry? Answer me, Henry."

"…I'm fine," he answered while sitting up. "Did you see any of that? How he moved?"

"No, but we can't be bothered by it right now." He nodded towards Heather and they both went to her side.

"Are you okay?" Henry asked, and she groaned in pain. They turned her on her back and saw the damage. "That bastard…" he murmured. "There's no way to tell how bad her wound is. I-,"

"Stop trying to grope me you guys…" Heather muttered, startling them both as they fell back. She sat up sheepishly and reached under her skirt. She brought out a red bottle, tipped off the cap, and then drank ravenously.

"It's an ampoule," she said while lifting it from her lips and smacking her lips satisfyingly. She looked back at the beam of light that was beginning to close. Her face was set determinedly. "Where's Da-… I mean, where's the Lord?"

"It seems that he's gone through the portal to Heaven."

They all looked back and saw Walter standing there, staring at the beam of light. "We have to follow him before it closes. If not we'll be helpless to stop him."

Henry nodded and stood. "Let's go, then. We don't have much of a choice. How else are we going to get out of here?"

Heather swallowed the last of the ampoule and threw the empty container to the floor. The glass shattered and she, along with the others, walked into the light.

---

"We can't get into the town," Alessa said. The others frowned, but Leon sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness. Besides, guys, look at how dark it is. It might be more dangerous than we first thought."

"How are we going to help Henry and the others then?" Eileen inquired, and Alessa shrugged.

"I don't know. We're just going to have to wait and see what happens."

---

They found themselves standing on air above Silent Hill, which black storm clouds blocked from their view. There was only gray surrounding them, but far off, at the other end of the town, something truly gigantic stirred.

"What the… hell?" Henry said as it came into view. Walter nearly wet his pants, and James gasped. Only Heather stared forward without so much as whimpering.

It was Robbie the Rabbit, as tall as the tallest skyscraper and much more menacing.

"That's one big-ass rabbit," Walter muttered, but then he fished around in his pocket for something.

"So… you fools would _still_ defy me?" bellowed Harry Mason's voice from the giant Robbie. They edged back and Walter held up some type of watch-type device.

"Hey, we can use this!" Walter held it out to the enormous Robbie. "Recognize this, Lord?"

"It can't be… How did you get a hold of that?"

"I found it in the Stonger McGonger before we left and you slaughtered everyone else! Now then…!" Walter strapped it on faced forward. Walter drew a deep breath and thrust out his arms. He then performed an exaggerated, complex pattern of movements with his hands, and he finished it by throwing his hand across the watch.

"Super-Ultimate-Giant-Ass-Kicking-Mech Stongertron X500, _arise_!"

Down below, the town of Silent Hill shook as something rose from its depths…

---

Miss Maxwell was sobbing uncontrollably as she watched _Rainbow Monkey Rangers_. The main character had just sacrificed himself to blow up a chicken, and uh…

"Mistress, we have a problem!" bellowed a manservant as he ran through the door. She looked up at him and swept the tears away.

"What is it _now_? _Can't I watch my show in peace_?"

"Uh, ma'am, I'm serious. You have to come and see this," said the manservant as the base trembled. She got up and followed him down a floor, mumbling curses all the while. What she saw blew her away.

"The Stongertron is _gone_?" she shrieked at a nearby scientist before clutching his coat collar and shaking him violently. "_Why the hell did you let it go_?"

"I'm sorry Mistress Maxwell but it was activated from an outside location! Someone must have come into position of the activation device!"

"But who could have?" she asked him, and then looked up at the opened shaft which it had flown through. "…It was them!" she exclaimed. "Those stupid little hamsters who stole the Stonger McGonger! _It was them_!"

---

"That's one… big-ass chicken," Heather remarked, and Walter laughed as the Stongertron rose before them in the guise of a chicken.

"It's the only thing we have at our disposal that can face the Lord's rabbit. Hurry up, let's go!" He leapt upon the chicken's head and dropped through a hole that opened up. Heather, James, and Henry shrugged and followed him. Inside, they each landed in a seat, their backs to one another.

"Are we supposed to control this thing?" James asked from his spot at the back of the cockpit. Walter nodded as he studied the monitor before him in his own seat with a sick smile on his face.

"…Yeah… but isn't this _awesome_?"

"I guess," Henry replied from his spot opposite Walter's.

"Hey, don't worry guys, I'll take care of everything," Heather said from her position at the front. She set her hands on the controls—a pair of joysticks—and pushed them forward. "It might be humiliating that we're fighting in a giant chicken, but _we don't have much of a choice_!"

The Stongertron sped towards Robbie, rearing a wing back into a balled fist. "I won't allow you the chance!" Harry exclaimed from within Robbie's head and from inside the mouth shot out a barrage of missiles.

"Put the shields up!" Heather commanded, and James hastily pressed down on several buttons and some triggers. All of the missiles hit their targets, engulfing the Stongertron in fire and smoke. Harry watched with anticipation as something came out of the smoke, numerous white feathers trailing behind it.

In actuality it was nothing more than an altered color palette of the Stonger McGonger, but it had the addition of a dandy red scarf. "I knew it wasn't a chicken," Heather said. She gritted her teeth as both Robbie and the Stongertron landed in the town. "We have to end this. _Let's go_!"

"She's really getting into this," Henry mumbled, and James shrugged.

Harry chuckled from Robbie. "Interesting. Do you truly believe a mere machine is powerful enough to stop a god? What flawed logic you posses, Cheryl."

"Shut up!" she screamed, and the two juggernauts clashed, punching and kicking each other and laying waste to the buildings around them as rain fell down upon their hides.

"Activate the beam saber!" Heather ordered as the robot leaned back to avoid a punch. A blade of emerald light ignited at the end of the right fist, and it swiped at Robbie, slicing a portion of its right ear off. "Keep going!" There were several more attempted slashes as Robbie's pupils became an intense orange hue. Rays of fire shot out and seared the metallic shell of the Stongertron, and the crew shook from the impact.

"I'm going to need a gunner!" Heather said, and Walter's seat was enveloped by a bubble of glass.

"I'm on it!" he replied as his seat slid into a different area. He was presented with a panel of controls, and he took hold of them. Outside, two turrets on top of the Stongertron's hull turned and started firing upon Robbie, shooting pink fluff into the air. The rabbit was forced back and the Stongertron rammed into it. Robbie clutched the Stongertron by the shoulders, however, and then swung it away. Its mouth widened, and particles of blue energy began to gather within its blackness.

"Start up the main cannon! It's the only way to dodge this!" Heather said, and both Henry and James inputted different commands into their respective consoles. The barrel of a large blaster protruded from the Stongertron's abdomen, and it shot out a great beam of energy just as Robbie did. The two beams connected, but the Stongertron's was more powerful, resulting in the combined energy wave to hit Robbie and set him on fire. The rabbit uttered an insane screech as it quickly burned, and it jerked into the Stongertron, knocking it off-balance. Inside the cockpit all of the monitors shone red.

"That's it! Everyone, get out!" An emergency door opened below them and they all jumped out as the Stongertron collapsed and Robbie fell back into the same building the group landed on.

A good portion of it gave way under the massive rabbit's weight. The head was the only part of it that stuck out into view, and it stared at them in a disturbing fashion. Harry Mason walked calmly out from behind it, his hands in his jacket pockets. He greeted then with a wave.

"Xuchilbara… Losbel Vith… Metatron… and even Robbie the Rabbit… I suppose I will be killed by you as well."

"You're right," Heather responded. "Even if you have the powers of God, you're still history."

The storm clouds were beginning to dissipate, and sunlight beamed down upon them. Harry shrugged. "Everything I aspired for… you tore it down, all of you." He threw his arms out to the sides and began to back away towards Robbie's head. "However… if I am to die by your hands… _then we shall go together_." He vanished into Robbie's head and it exploded, revealing a gigantic goat skull with long, curled horns protruding from it. Two large wings spread out behind it and the beast rose into the air. One of its arms lashed out at the building they were standing on, and they all leapt out of the way.

"What is _that_?" James hollered at Heather, who had taken position on the roof opposite of his. The goat head turned immediately to his voice and its other arm struck at him. James didn't have any time to avoid it, and he was bashed away with the rest of the Happy Burger.

Heather stole a glance in his direction when the other arm came for her. She flipped on top of it as it reared back from the rubble that the building was now. Harry watched her from his place atop the head. He grinned crazily. "Goodbye, Cheryl! This is the end!" As if on cue, the other arm sped at her. She rolled over its gruesome hand and plunged her pipe through it. A gurgled noise floated from the goat skull and the other hand swept her away. She held on to her pipe after the blow as the other hand moved to and fro, trying to rid itself of her. It succeeded and she popped off and fell onto the roof of the Blue Creek Apartment building.

She struggled to her feet as the God performed a series off odd movements with its hands, and the clouds above her parted. A dazzling, crackling light of an orange hue formed in that space, and then it shot down in the form of a bolt of lightning. It ripped the apartment to shreds and Heather was lost in the mess.

Harry laughed manically, looking up to the sky. "Burn it all! Lay waste to this pathetic world!" God screeched in response and proceeded to blast what remained of Silent Hill, which was in the middle of losing its Otherworldy-ness… Eww…

Anyway, meanwhile Henry and Walter were some ways off. "Will this really work, Henry?" Walter asked as they took cover behind the Stongertron. "He already got the others. We can't fail."

"Yeah, I know," Henry said as he turned to Walter. He flashed him a reassuring look as he climbed over the Stongertron.

**What could Henry's plan be? Why are you asking _me_? Ha, that's a laugh… ha _ha_…**

"This is awesome!" Eileen said while slipping the black, leather coat on. Finishing it with a pair of sunglasses she grinned at Leon and the others as she stepped out of Metatron's shack. Alessa trailed behind her looking uncertain.

"You look pretty good in that," Maria remarked rather dully.

"Thank you!" Eileen replied, unaware it was Maria she was speaking to.

"There's no way to get into town, though," Alessa said, and they all sighed. That's when Leon's cell phone rang.

Grumbling, he answered it. "This is Leon Kennedy. Who is this?"

There was only a raspy breathing noise on the other end. He frowned. "Anyone there?"

"…_pudding_…"

"What?"

"…_PUDDING_…"

"Err, what about pudding?"

"Pudding? _Where_?" Eileen said, and she tackled Leon to the ground and stole the phone from him. "Hello…? _HELLO_?" she nearly screamed into the phone. "_Where is the pudding_?"

A pause, and then: "…Did _you_ eat my pudding?"

"I don't know."

"You did it, didn't you…? You and that guy and the little boy with the underwear on his head…"

"I don't know what you're talking about; _just tell me where the pudding is_!"

The phone went dead. Eileen snarled and threw the phone to the ground, where it broke apart. Leon stared on in horror. Alessa pointed at Eileen's head.

"Hey, Eileen, you have a Post-It note on your forehead?"

"What? Really?" She touched her forehead gingerly, and, sure enough, a red Post-It note was stuck to her skin. She yanked it off and inspected it, then gasped.

**kthnxbai**

She screamed.

---

Harry was busy decimating Silent Hill and the nearby countryside when someone shouted to him from across the town. He turned sluggishly and without interest. From afar he could see Henry.

"Henry Townshend?" Harry chuckled and gestured at the brunet aimlessly. "Destroy the pest! He knows not when to die!" However, his eyes widened when he saw what Henry was straining to hold up.

Henry smirked. "Take this, Lord!" and Walter fired off the Stongertron's severed cannon. The blast struck the God head-on, but Harry held still.

"So those fools still refuse to give in? Return them to the nothingness from whence they came!" The God began to ready another lightning blast, and Henry and Walter started to prepare the Stongertron's cannon to fire again.

"Here it comes!" Henry yelled and Walter shot the cannon off again as the lightning bolt came down upon them. The two attacks collided and in a brilliant flash of light and the whole town quaked from the resulting shockwave. Unknown to them, Alessa, Eileen, and the others felt it.

"Henry, we only have one more shot!" Walter told him, and the brunet grimaced. From behind them, though, someone came.

"I'll distract him long enough to give you time to hit him," said Pyramid Head as he approached them.

"Pyramid Head!" Henry exclaimed. "Are you willing to do this? You're injured."

"…I'll be all right," he replied. "It is the least I can do for you all. Besides, you won't have another chance after this one, so it must count."

After a moment Henry nodded. "Alright. We'll be ready."

Pyramid Head went off towards the God and Harry, who was watching him from high up. "…Stone… He doesn't really believe he can make a difference, does he?"

Pyramid Head looked up at Harry and dropped the Great Knife. He spread his arms out and called out, "Harry Mason! If you desire to kill me, do it now and do it quickly!"

Harry, stone-faced, motioned at Pyramid Head silently. The God wrapped its grotesque fingers around him and lifted him into the air, slowly squeezing. Harry walked over to the edge of the goat skull and studied Pyramid Head. "Your death will be in vain, you do know… The only reason I decided to humor your futile attempt to distract me was to have you seen how little of a difference it would make."

"It doesn't matter to me any longer. They will defeat you, and I have no more reason to go on."

"…I will grant you your wish, then." The God proceeded to snap Pyramid Head in half like a twig, but before it could he shouted to Henry and Walter.

"_Do it now_!"

"No!" Harry bellowed as Pyramid Head was broken in two and the cannon fired. The beam headed straight for the God, and Harry shot out an arm, and the God mimicked. The blast was split in two, but while one of the halves was diverted and sent away, another tore into the God's torso. Harry staggered back, but held his ground as the God let Pyramid Head's corpse fall. Henry and Walter quickly escaped as another lightning blast shot down at them. What was left of the Stongertron was fried.

"Walter, let's go!" Henry cried and they both ran towards the God, evading lightning bolts and the like as they went.

---

James was lost in the remains of the Happy Burger, half-conscious. 'I'm dying…' he thought, and half of his face was caked with sticky, dried blood. A piece of rubble was covering his legs and keeping him down. He groaned, and closed his eyes.

"James, are you just going to give up?" He opened his eyes and saw Frank standing to his left. He was translucent and with a bluish tint, but he was still there.

"Dad?" James choked, and across from Frank James Stone appeared, freed from his guise as Pyramid Head.

"They all need you, James. They aren't capable of defeating the Lord without your help."

"…But… what can I do?" James asked, and between Frank and Stone Mary appeared.

"You can do a lot, James," she said, and held her hand out. "You just need some help to get up on your feet."

He stared at her hand and then looked up at her face. "Mary…" He slowly nodded and took her hand. The, using all of his strength, he pushed the rubble off of himself and stood up, grabbing his Steel Pipe as he did so.

The three of them were gone, but he wasn't bothered by it. James looked ahead. "I'm not dead yet."

---

The God raised a giant foot and slammed down on the street, splitting it in half as Henry and Walter moved around it. Henry jumped onto its ankle and hung on for dear life as he was shook around. A hand reached down and plucked him off. It jerked him up and closed a fist around him. Henry screamed in agony as the God tightened its grip on him.

"Henry!" Walter yelled, and Harry heard.

"Walter Sullivan…?" He giggled. "You have been quite the annoyance!" He raised his right arm, and the God did the same, and then brought it down forcefully. Another bolt of crimson lightning struck down at Walter, but he held up his pipe and managed to hold it off. He slowly edged his pipe downwards and, with it, the lightning. With a final tug he brought the pipe down, and the lightning hit the ground and propelled him upwards to Harry's altitude. He somersaulted from the jump to reach Harry when suddenly a _second_ bolt hit him. Walter was shot away by it and he landed several miles away.

Harry shook his head disappointedly and then continued to squeeze the life out of Henry Townshend. A sharp pain in his left foot stopped him, though. The God winced from the attack, and so did Harry, and he looked down to see James, wielding Pyramid Head's Great Knife, slashing at the God's leg. Harry growled and summoned another lightning bolt via the God, but as it was about to strike him something dashed out of the darkness and deflected the bolt back at the colossus.

The lightning shredded the God, incinerating its legs and a chunk of its shoulder, as well as one of its horns. It crashed onto the ground, with Harry standing still atop its goat skull head. "Cheryl… I should have known that wouldn't have been _quite_ enough to kill you…"

"Yeah, you should've," Heather said while Henry shuffled over to them, rubbing his buttocks.

"That's going to leave me sore for awhile…" He was ignored for the most part.

Harry chuckled and raised a hand. "So, now what? Will you kill me?"

"Obviously," she replied, and Harry shrugged.

"…I would have been proud of you in another time, I'm sure," Harry said quietly. "But now we are on opposing sides, and this conflict will never find a resolution until one of us meets their end."

"I agree with you." Heather turned to Henry and James. "Would you guys mind leaving this to me?"

The two of them exchanged uneasy glances and then looked up at Harry. They nodded reluctantly. "That's fine," James stated. "Just be careful."

"I will, don't worry."

She faced Harry and both of them drew their Steel Pipes. Harry smiled. Heather didn't. Harry raised a hand. Heather brought her pipe up. One of the God's arms flew out at her. Harry leapt down to her to attack. Heather avoided the arm. She lunged at Harry. And then…

They were both still after the final set of attacks. Heather lost her grasp on her pipe and fell to her knees, cupping her previous wound as blood spilled over her hand. Harry let out a short laugh, blood beginning to stream from his mouth. "That's… _my girl_… beautiful little… _Cheryl_…" He coughed out blood and fell to the ruined street, crimson pooling around him.

Heather slowly crawled over to him and cradled his dead body, tears falling from her eyes in great gushes. "Dad… _Daddy_… It was you in the end, wasn't it? Why, then? _Why did you do it_?"

Henry and James watched the scene without saying a word, and when Heather broke down completely and cried until she couldn't cry anymore, James went to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, let's go home."

She did not look up at him at first, but she wiped the tears away and nodded. "Yeah… you're right." Heather stood and faced the two of them. "Let's go."

---

As they neared the entrance of the town, and with the sun on their backs, they saw Walter lying on his back, admiring the sky.

"Walter?" Henry asked, and the blond glanced at them.

"You three can go on ahead. I'd like to stay here just a bit longer."

They looked at him for a moment, and Henry nodded. "Stay as long as you want. This is a resort town, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," James said, and he sighed. "That's it, then, right? The end of the story?"

"Yep," Heather answered, and then walked ahead of them. Henry clasped James on the shoulder companionably.

"You know what time it is now, James?" he asked, and the dirty-blond shook his head. "_It's pudding-time_!" At this James earnestly laughed.

"You know, that's not a bad idea, Henry, not a bad idea at all."

**OMG TEH 5T0RY5 OVAR OMG!1111!11!1!11**

James stood over the charred remains of South Ashfield Heights. The breeze hit his face and he relished it. He hunkered down and picked up a piece of rubble, running his thumb over it. He'd grown up here practically, and in that sense it was his home, a home full of memories of people who were no longer here. And that was when James realized what he held in his hand might be what remained of one of the tenants who had been unfortunate enough to be caught in the flames of Maria's psychotic arson streak.

"What are we doin' here?" Laura asked from behind him, and James smiled at him.

"It may seem like just an old, rundown apartment building to you, Laura, but this place… I think I might just rebuild it."

"_What_?" she whined, and walked over beside him. "I don't want to grow up in an _apartment building_, James!"

He laughed and ruffled up her hair. Surprisingly, she didn't rebel.

---

"And _that's_ how you aim correctly," Eileen told Child Walter—who from this point will be known as Wally—as they walked out of the restroom and headed into the den of Room #203 of North Ashfield Heights. Henry was busy adjusting a photograph on the wall when he shuddered.

'No… must resist…' But the temptation was too powerful. He made a mad dash for the refrigerator, where Eileen kept her own stash of pudding, but she tackled him to the floor and struggled to hold him down. "Eileen, please, I need it! _I need it_!"

"No, Henry, you don't! You have to fight it!" She wrestled him for another minute or so before he finally gave up. They got up and Henry tore his gaze away from the refrigerator.

"It's so hard, Eileen…"

"I know, I know," she consoled and rubbed the area between his shoulder blades. That's when Wally pointed at the door, horrified.

"…There are chains on the door."

"What?" They looked at the entrance door and saw the chains interlocking and crossing in front of it. Henry shook his head. "This is a pretty sick joke on Walter's part…"

"I guess we should go check if the hole's there, then," Eileen said, and Henry shrugged.

"It's not that urgent, in any case. I'm an expert at exploring holes, I mean, after all I've been through."

Eileen looked at him slyly, her hair falling across her face seductively. "Is that _so_?" Her hands wandered over his chest and grasped his shirt collar. "How about you show me…?"

Henry glanced at her and the chains uneasily. "But, Eileen, what about the chains? Shouldn't we-,"

"You just said it wasn't that urgent… Besides, don't you want to get some practice before you go and explore those holes?" She led him into the hallway and into the bedroom, swinging the door shut as she did so. Wally looked at the chains for the last time before going to the pantry and fetching the Cheez-Its.

---

"I've never had a Happy Burger meal, did you know that, Walter?" Alessa inquired as they walked through the second floor hallway of North Ashfield Heights. She was taking great big bites out of it, and Walter grinned.

"Well, I'm glad you are now. Just make the most out of it, because I don't know when I'll be able to find some type of job… and don't call me Walter anymore; I'm Sydney now, remember?"

"Oh yeah… sorry," she said while stifling a giggled and appraising him. He'd trimmed his hair a bit, shaved, cleaned up, and exchanged his navy coat for a long, brown one.

They stopped in front of Room #203, and Walter knocked several times. He waited some moments, but the door did not open. "Hey, Henry, you in there?" he called. "It's Alessa and me. We decided to come and see how you were doing."

No response. He tugged at the doorknob and then moved away. "They're probably out somewhere," Alessa said, and Walter nodded.

"You're most likely right," he said, and then smiled at her before starting back the other way down the hallway. "…But it's not like I chained their door again for laughs. I'm not _that_ sick. Besides, I've lost my powers as far as that is concerned."

As they went, a red Post-It note floated down the hallway behind them.

---

Heather set the bouquet down beside the gravestone, tracing the letters of the epitaph with her fingers. 'Dad… Goodbye.'

"You okay, Heather?" Douglas asked from his car as he waited near the street. Heather looked back in his direction and nodded before walking back down to the vehicle, giving the headstone one last, meaningful look as she did so.

**I guess that's it, then. Now I have only one thing to say…**

…**See you again!**

**(Insert your favorite credits music.)**

…

Half an hour after the group departed from Silent Hill for good, Smankhee entered its domain. His weary eyes darted from side-to-side frantically. "Where are you, _you stupid little lemon-pie-eating rats_?" he shouted to the winds, ripping his shirt open to reveal a plate of platinum with a crater in its center.

No response came to him, and he trudged into the town.

Meanwhile, a robed man was investigating the remains of the Lord's tower, holding a cell phone to his ear under his hood. "…Of course, Mr. Wesker, I've taken the appropriate measures… Silent Hill has been contained temporarily…" the man said into the phone when he felt something press into the back of his head.

"I'd like to use your phone, _sir_." The robed man slowly put his phone away, and then put his hands into the air.

"What a surprise, it seems my phone is dead…" He twirled away, revolvers already in his hands as he faced his guest. It was a man dressed in a red coat, and on his head was a mop of silver hair. Underneath his coat was all black.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Dante? You're late, devil hunter; all the demons here have been vanquished."

"Really?" Dante shrugged as he aimed his own handguns at the man. "I suppose you'll have to suffice, whoever-,"

"Who the _hell_ are you people?" Dante looked back to see Smankee approaching them, his guns drawn. The two blinked at him as he blinked back. "You two imbeciles haven't happened to have seen a group of even bigger imbeciles, would you?"

"Can't say I have," Dante responded, and he edged one of his firearms in the mobster's direction. The robed man did the same, and Smankhee tittered.

"Come _on_, guys!" He brought his magnums out in a flash and it was nothing more, nor nothing less of a deadlock. They remained like this for some time, each of them gauging each other.

"So, who's going to move first?"

**END CRAPPY PLOTLINE**


End file.
